the God Experiment: day 6 Sat

Things are kinda looking bleak. perhaps because i don't have my rest. i'm left with 3 days. model yet to be finished. 3d model.. killing me. cuz i duno what i should show.

and still i don't seem to be convinced totally by my design. :( how ?

i think my physical model will b really important.

i think today i was relying alot on my own strength.. rather than trusting in God. was rushing this.. and that.. and i thought my physical model looks a little more untidy. :( well.. :X i'm really praying for wisdom now more than anything else. thought of an ingenious way to do my model. :) ok..

i'm still not started with my cadding. well i'll just dumbly export and cut and paste stuff :)

i'll trust that my 3d model is good enough to export.

PRAY PRAY PRAY!

i read about Jesus's death.

how Peter denied Jesus 3 times.

how Jesus absolutely could not get through the stupidest people on earth. the pharasies.. and teachers of the law.. they were so smart they were stupid. they knew the law.. they knew the loop holes to benefit themselves...

they thought themselves better than others..

anyways when i read about Jesus's death.. i felt really pissed off by the pharasies and Judas..

never ever name your son that.

i'm tired.. and grouchy.. suppose that signals my sleeping time :) good night!

the God Experiment: day 5 Thursday

its 5 more days till my submission. still pretty slow with my design. not good news definitely. ;(

still i wana start the day off with a thanksgiving. yesterday, my dad sent me to the doctors.. and waited with me for like 1 half hours.. yah.. love you dad. :)

Eve was also really sweet :) dropping in msges asking if i was feeling ok.

i spent yesterday sleeping.. resting.. and did a little work at night.. yeah.. the 3d model is looking good for now. still lots more needs to be done.. need to start planning for my final model too. .what materials should i be using.. etc..

I read about the persistent widow. and yeah.. to always pray and not give up. that was really encouraging to me :) made me happy. :)

Jesus's second coming is when the world will b judged. when he comes the second time..He wouldn't be like man. He will be like a lightning bolt that fills up the sky with its light.. how powerful that image is:)

Jesus isn't some wimpy man with long hair... and a halo.. on earth He commanded wisdom so great that no one was able to out argue him even though they tried their very best. the best minds collaborated but could do nothing to find fault with Jesus. Jesus knew their thoughts even before they could act. and yet he was still a man. What more when Jesus reveals Himself in his true form. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?

i wonder if people read this blog.. would they wonder what's wrong with this guy who talks and talks about Jesus day in and day out on his blog .. i can't help it.. really.. i know no one else i can turn to and trust totally apart from Jesus Christ and His words in the Bible. The reason why i hope rather than worry is because the bible tells me that i can trust in God to provide for my needs.

its 6:50am.

the flu is clearing. i can feel it. :) yup. will need to take my meds.. have some breakfast.. and back to design.

;o

the God Experiment: day 4 Wednesday

i'd like to start the day off with a thanksgiving. yesterday Eve and i bumped into zic who was looking for a present for someone. i'm really glad we bumped into each other cuz he gave me a few kick ass ideas. its really God's providence that we met each other at parkway.. yeah.. and meanwhile Eve went to cold storage to look for costings for her poly assignment and got chased away by the old lady working there who couldn't give her a reason why she couldn't copy down the prices of the items there.. i mean.. what's so top secret about that?? its not like Eve is working for giant or sheng xiong.

Eve and i enjoyed a really sumptuous meal at delifrance. they have a 11.90 meal promotion.. and yesterdays set meal was chicken and steak with garlic sauce.. MMMMmMMmm :)..

one thing that worried me was this however.. my cold and cough didn't really get better.. in fact in got worse. thought it was because i had insufficient rest.. or because my room was too dusty.. but i think its because i've not been eating healthy these few days.. alot of phlegm is stuck in my throat..

thing interesting to note however was that drinking a cup of really hot water makes you feel sooo much better! the feeling of hot water trickling down and warming your heart is a feeling u get only when you are sick.

as in you really appreciate hot water.

Luke warm water incomparison dosn't really help.

so if ure sick and having trouble breathing.. stuck nose.. pain throat from hacking coughs.. try a hot cup of water before popping a panadol or two.the hot water provides and relief that is more instant!

yesterday i wasn't productive. met up with Eve.. went her place.. and we had a quarrel over the fact that i couldn't help her with a task that was so simple but a task that she couldnt' do. we quarrelled really badly.. and i feel bad.. at the end of the day.. the reason why i didn't say sorry was because i was too proud and was sick of apologizing almost everytime we quarrelled. its humbling.. n yeah.. how come we can be nice to like our friends but treat our girlfriends or people closest to us so badly?

i really thank God that yesterday He was present when we fought. i really thank God that at the end of the day, Eve and i managed to reconcile.. our fight caused Eve to forget to meet her friend online to receive a ppt for her project... and.. in the end she had no mood to study for her quiz..

yeah.. made me feel really guilty.. though i hate to admit it.

Eve became such a darling when we reconciled. She offered to get me a cup of water.. and rubbed my back and asked me if i was feeling ok constantly. best feeling in the world. :) i felt really cared for and loved. :) and suddenly.. i felt that yeah.. all the long i've been having this wrong impression that she didnt' care even when i was sick. brightened a gloomy and sick day.

well i had better start working on my design.. my 3d model still has loads more to be done.. :(

But still i'm trusting God. i know that God will answer my prayers and the prayers of those who have been praying for me.. that He would fill me with the holy spirit whether i'm sick or whether i'm down.. or whether i've got a quarrel.

probably the only thought that comforts me when all else seems bleak.. when i'm still in the design stage instead of the production stage of my design is the thought that Jesus loves me, that Jesus dosnt' change, that Jesus is in control of every situation in my life because He is a big God.

btw.. if u are reading my blog and u aren't Christian.. you still can ask and pray to Jesus for help. Instead of praying to buddha, or islam.. Pray to Jesus, who is real. Jesus Christ's whole life message is that He loves each and everyone of us because He died for our sins. Which other religion has a God that cares so much for His people?

Its easy to pray for Jesus to help you..

if u ask me why i believe in Jesus, i can't give you a super convincing reason. The thing is that.. whenever i read that bible, His words bring me comfort that no self help book has ever come close to. The bible is God's word. not the quran.. not the sutras..

The bible is the all time best selling book in the world.. not the quran.. not buddhist self help books.. or new ages philosophies.. compared with the depth and richness of the bible all other books pale in comparison..Why? because the bible is truth.

People have studied and read the bible over 300 times in their life time and still.. they can always get new insight about their God. 2000 years of history.. more than just 1 author.. all of them saying the same thing.. that God is good God is real.. God loves us.. we are not beings of evolution..

its ironic why people choose to believe in the evolution theory.. that we all evolved from a monkey..

so after we evolve into humans.. what are we going to evolve into??

humans with super powers??

by comparing ourselves with monkeys.. we insult the creator who made monkeys monkeys and humans human.

if people really came out of evolution.. then why havn't we changed that much in 2000 years?

what makes us so sure that the earth is millions of years old?

what can we really be sure of??

the bible makes a claim that people always find a problem with.. The bible claims to be God's word.. yet.. how many have read the bible enough to test if this claim is true?

Scientists test everything.. but have they been able to test the bible on scientific grounds and prove with unquestionable evidence that what the bible is teaching is false? until that day comes.. the bible's claim to be God's word, like newton's laws of gravity will is unquestionably true.

the God Experiment: day 3 Tuesday(part2)

its 5pm. i just woke up. last person i talked to online was shazzi. He was looking for a lunch buddy. working in the DTS is so seclusive. yup.. it really sucks when everyone in arki is now living in their own world though they are in reality just a mins walk away from each other. An interesting comment he wrote was that and i quote.. lol

Shazzi says:

hahaha. reading ur blog is like reading a homoerotic porno book.

richard says:

urm

that wasn't really my intention ..

yeah.. so thats an interesting comment :)

anyways.. i'm having a stuck nose.. its one of the worst feelings.. a throbbing head from sneezing too much. i'm falling sick!!! CRAP!..

is it because i've been at home for too long?

anyways. i took a bath. as i was bathing i thought to myself.. u know.. these two days.. whenever i'm doing my work.. i've been blasting music into my ears to get inspiration.. but u know. the thought of that sounds silly. how does something like music give u inspiration.. yeah.. it kinda sets the mood to get ure creative juices flowing.. but then.. sometimes it really is more distracting than anything.. hence i feel my work rate has been rather slow..

i thought to myself.. since i'm having an experiment with God.. i'll instead of blasting music .. have silence.. and kinda think in my head my thoughts as i'm doing my 3d model. Perhaps in that silence, i'd be able to get some inspiration from God and be able to hear his voice more clearly. :)

btw.. i'm going to meet eve later this evening.. if i meet her and i feel better.. it is probably a proof of one thing..

that is, staying at home to do work is unhealthy. and it also means that its about time that i start to clean up my room because the environment is really sometimes too horrible to live in.. dusty and full of dog fur. .. ;) i'm wondering what people must be thinking about when they read this lol. well.. looks like its back to work again. :) *sniffles*

the God Experiment: day 3 Tuesday

today i'll b working at home. yesterday i was working in school. and u know what? my friends really helped me with my design and gave me their honest feedback! I'm so thankful for that! :) because if they didn't, i would have done a scheme that is firstly more difficult to construct a model with.. and secondly.. more bulky and unnecessary.

my tutor didn't come to school yesterday.

well.. so far.. i've my main structure and my program more or less settled. now i need to think about how to hold up my structure. yesterday i worked in school till 1130.. took the bus at 12. reached home at around1plus..

yup

i'm still not sure whether to meet eve or not..

but anyways.. i'm really working on a tight schedule.. i need to get my and program worked out in 3d model.. then i can start on my panels. i intend to start working on my model by friday.. so by thursday.. i should be able to get my panels printed out..

the thing is this is a should be thingy.

so i'm not sure..

anyways.. i wasn't feeling to comfortable when i was eating yesterday..

like.. i ate a pack of potatochips for lunch and had a super heavy breakfast with my bro and parents at arn 7 @ bukit ho swee then had mac wings meal for dinner. so yeah when i went home i felt quite unwell.. my stomach just felt like lurching for some reason. i think i'll get something plain and easy on my dear stomach.

anyways.. my new maid came. yup.

i had a job offer from my dad.. he wanted to pass me a tuition student of his.sec2.. but then she's like a distinction student.. and the moment i heard that.. i was .. *yeah.. * definitely not someone i can handle.. but then again.. i was thinking about it.. and wondering.. yeah.. definitely not at my current level.. so am i too quick to judge that i cannot take a smart sec 2 kid for tuition?

i duno.

anyways. i love this video by Uverworld.. which has been like my fav jap band since i went to Korea. :) the words are so EMO! and the mUSIC IS SO NICE THAT I FEEL SO SAD WHEN i watched it. :( yeahh :)

that's how good it is.. check it out.

please continue praying for me and all my archi friends who are working their buttocks and eyes and fingers out to complete their drawings and models and what nots on time. :):) take care and peace out!

the God Experiment: day 2 Monday

i'm awake at 5:45 am. i had a really weird dream.. i dreamt i was staying with in this guy's house.. and i was asking him loads and loads of questions about his religion.. Hinduism and Islam. In my dream.. he's first a Muslim, then a Hindu. but he kinda hates Islam cuz its so strict. He even has a book which describes Hinduism.. kinda like his bible. and he reads out passages to me from that small booklet.. and i was genuinely trying to find out why he thought that Hinduism was so appealing.

In the dream.. i didn't share Christ with him.. i was really just seeking to understand.

and then.. poof.. i was awake.

The night b4.. my mom, sister and i prayed together. for the first time too. My mom prayed for both my sister and i. yup. Mom makes really detailed and long prayers.

like she prayed for the both of us for like half an hour! to be honest.. i really cannot pray that long for people.. but anyways.. after my mom prayed for us.. i kinda dozed off on my sister's bed... and when i woke up.. it was 1 am.. i felt so thirsty.. so i drank 2 cups of water.. and snuggled into my lovely bed.

yesterday was Eveleen's and my anniversary. Every 1st of every month marks 1 month of our being together. we are now dating for 4yrs 10 months.

and still.. i'm discovering new things about her as well as about myself.

Being in a relationship does 2 things.. you know the person you are having a relationship with better.. and you will definitely know yourself better especially when you start quarrelling.. then you realize that you really aren't the center of the universe. the single life is a me me me life.

there is no room for growth.

yup.. anyways.. its 5:55am now! :) love times like these.

i'm going to school.

now i have no other distractions from my design. i'm goin to work on it real hard core.. today my aim is to propose my program to my friends and my tutors.. see what input i can get from them.. today.. i pretty much have to settle my concept and how everything is going to work..

yup..

well.. lets see how God will lead today ! :)

:)

the God Experiment: day 1 Sunday

well.. i think if i wana do an experiment which involves God. i'd have to be really careful and respectful in the way i do it.. my experiment for today, which is a Sunday.. is to have nothing to do with my project. or rather.. to not actually do any model making.. rather.. my mind is constantly looking out for ideas..

today probably is the first time i discussed my idea with Eve and she had lots of good ideas and suggestions and questions with regards to my design. I'm impressed darling!

but.. the thing was that we skipped sunday service to have a little breakfast with each other at KFC.. we ordered 2 meals and 1 porridge.(mainly on Eve's request) her stomach really is like the universe..

yup.. so we were like discussing about our lives.. and our quarrel.. which kind of really eased out the tension between us. :) the day started of good. even though Eve n i almost had another quarrel because of miscommunication on my part. we were supposed to meet at 830 at tiong bahru.. but i didn't read the msg properly and assumed meet at outram MRT, which was normally the mrt which we met.. (guys aren't good at following instructions.. :X) lol

but anyways.. i thought i had my program more or less ironed out.. at least something was done.. and in an enjoyable way too.. Eve was basically giving me all the ideas.. and like rejecting some ideas which she thought wasn't practical for a scheme like mine.. and to be honest .. i was smiling and thinking to myself.. i'm glad that i have someone like Eve who's so full of suggestions and so responsive and has lots of ideas.. its so much more interesting to have someone give u suggestions than.. someone who is always shrugging and saying.. i don't know.. its ok lor..

yup.. so i think with regards to a building's program.. i could definitely ask for her opinion on whether it is a good idea.

Eve is really more logical than me sometimes.

yep.

anyways. i was reading romans and luke and matthew with regards to worry. matthew speaks about worry this way.. those who are weary.. turn to Jesus and cast your cares on Him and learn from Him, because when you do so, your soul will find rest.

luke speaks about worry slightly differently. luke talks about worry this way. the birds of the air do not reap and sow, yet God feeds them. how much more are we worth than them? we don't have any reason to worry about what we eat, drink, or wear because God provides.

But a question i was asking myself.. was.. so should i worry about my design project?.. then another verse spoke to me.. God asks a question... i'm not sure whether it is luke or ecclesiastes. but he asks a very sharp question.. can we by worrying add an hour to our lives? can we by worrying extend our design dateline? so the value of worrying is nothing. because firstly. God really provides and knows our needs.

romans then talks about faith. when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness..

i think twice and think thrice when i read it.. because there seems to be some kind of conflict.. God says.. to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. but then. in proverbs. he kind of talks about the sluggard. diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor. then.. there are verses which say. he who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgement...

so.. there is this little conflict and tension about.. working hard.. and not working because you are trusting God.. well to call this tension little is such an understatement.

but today is Sunday. and i've told myself.. that i would trust God and not work today. though if i want to be strict about it.. i probably have worked cuz i'm constantly wondering and thinking about ideas with regards to my design idea.. and i even skipped church to talk to Eve about it.. and discuss it over breakfast.. (smiles.. i feel happy that i actually talked to her about design without her feeling lost or bored about it! :) what a great thing ! :) hehe praise God! )

but well.. i think i had a rather fun Sunday.

Instead of worrying about my design.. i went out for a buffet with my church friends.. we had a really good time of bonding.. probably the first time our youth came out as a large group! and had lunch together! :) that was fun :) and after that the guys had a wonderful bonding time.. at the LAN shop. playing L4D. :)

really had an enjoyable time :) blasting a few zombies and mauling a few humans.. :) 'there's a time for everything right?' hehehe

but speaking of which...

in ecclesiastes.. that verse spoke to me a little differently..

in the context of ecclesiastes. it mentions that there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:, to love, hate, kill, smile, cry, make love.. you name it.. everything.

but then.. if we try to weigh these words with what people now always say... we see a discrepancy. because.. so many people will say that there is not enough time! i don't have enough time to do this and that .

but God seems to say otherwise. There is time for everything a season for every activity under heaven.

if God can tell us that there is a time for everything, then i as a Christian should heed these words.. and not worry that i don't have enough time for my design. :)

well.. so i'll conclude today's experiment with this little assurance from the short bible study that i had while waiting for Eve at outram MRT. From God's word, He gives us no reason to say that we should worry.. because He says so clearly that there is a time and season for everything. Who are we to say we don't have when God says we do?

Day 1 of my walk with God seems like God is assuring me that 'hey Richard, i know that you still have a long way to go with your design.. but trust me .. i will let you know when to really start to work.. and i will let you know when you should do this and that.. but you have to trust that my plans for you are good.. Richard, i love you.. and i really want to show you that I am God. :) the God who loves you. In my word, i have shown you that sometimes, you don't have to work.. sometimes, it is more important to trust in what I want to do for you :).

and you know what?

:) I"M GOING TO REAlly spend the rest of this lovely Sunday getting the rest that God wants for my soul :)

:) HEHEHE

GOOD DAY !!!

Just how Big is Richard's God?

i watched Julie and Julia yesterday with my darling.

i loved the movie. it is really an original movie. a classic in its own right.

we had a big fight yesterday. i totally felt unloving. i felt tired. i felt drained.

work. worry. work. worry.

Bible verses speak when we worry.

i have reason to worry. i have 1 week left to the submission of my design. and still i'm not confirmed with my design. i still have few clues on how to really make it something spectacular.. i know it should be spectacular.. but.. somehow.. i'm not feeling that BOomZ or sHIngZ at all when i think about my design. my tutors were going.. ooo and ahh.. when they heard the concept.. but i'm afraid. the final design would fall short of what they were expecting. Its because of those expectations that i don't know how to really design.. and well worrying dosn't really help..

i wake up in the morning.. with questions like.. how ah.. how to design my stupid ring??

i've been thinking and thinking.. and i've got a rough idea.. but it still feels insufficient.

it still lacks a certain x factor which i'm still unable to discern. i'm still not personally convinced with my own design.. it lacks something.. and i'm not GETTING ANY INSPIRATION!

so. Richard's question till next week is.. this.

just how big is Richard's God? Just how big is this God that Richard Believes in?

Can his God give him the ideas he needs?

well.. including today. Richard just has 8.5 days left till submission.

Richard is still worried. but something inside him is telling him to stay calm and wait.

But .. its a struggle.

Everyone else seems to be on schedule.. getting their stuff lasered..

but.. another thought came to him.

He has a helper whom God will send him. His helper will be his councillor. Richard needs to ask for the holy spirit to help him. desperately he needs all the help he can get.. all the help he needs...

SO PLEASE! if u read this blog PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

THANKS IN ADVANCE!.

well so during this next 8 days.. i'm gona embark on a little walk with God through some thorny bushes. Will i end up getting stung? Only heaven knows. will be writing a blog entry everyday to let everyone know what kind of things happen when an architecture student (me) thinks about when he is designing something. :) and of course will always be dropping in the thoughts that i think God is hinting to me :) .. well for now. i'll go and sleep. and rest for tonight and tomorrow.

I"m asking myself.. how on earth can i feel so calm thinking about sleeping and not worrying about my design..

the most comforting thought in the world to me is this..

I've got a SUPER BIG GOD WHO"Z GONA TAKE CARE OF ME!

I want to find out.. and i'm sure u guys also want to find out how big my God is too! how can the God of Abraham and Isaac help this architecture student in his final project :)

i'll try to be as honest as i can as i'm relaying my thoughts and my concerns. :)

boy.. this sure sounds exciting and crazy!

but for now.. i couldn't really be bothered about my design.. i'll probably think about it and ask God about it till i fall asleep :)

Good night world. Thanks for your prayers in advance. :) ooo.. :) its 10pm! :) Bon apETITE! :) lol . GNITE WORLD PEACE OUT TO U ARCHITECTS WHEREVER U MAY BE! we fight battles with Z monsters all night long.. well this time round.. i'm gona let my God fight my battles for me :) *I REALLY DUNO WHAT I"M GETTING MYSELF INTO with this little experiment of mine..

and i don't really have any hypothesis.. but..

my hypothesis. is this.. i'm not going to worry about my design and just keep working on it.. trusting that God will work with me and GIVE ME SOME AWESOME KICK *@# design. :) LOL already i'm struggling to not worry!

what a bummer.. ok..

:) enough worrying. good night world. happy thoughts.. i'm gona start consulting my councillor. :)

i Just thought this cartoon looked so cute :) the snake is green!

though i'm not an apple fan.. i just thought this conceptual idea kicked some serious @#)(*$

self doubt

after the day that i posted a few videos on face book and on my blog about pornography and its insidious nature.. i found myself doubting myself.. while i was writing the blog.. and feeling so strongly that what i wrote was right.. and also having encouragement from Vic in the earlier blog.. i felt yes.. the world needs to hear this.. my friends need to know that porn is much more horrible than eating shark's fin for wedding dinners. i mean people here are getting abused emotionally and mentally!..

but somehow.. i was looking for comments from my friends.. hoping to see comments that they too agreed or at least shared my joy when they saw porn actresses and porn actors turning to Jesus Christ. but when i saw no response.. i suddenly felt very worried.. that i had posted something that was offensive.. for some reason.. i felt.. the fear of being looked upon as some zealous religious freak.

i was afraid in particular of having to stand out because i posted something which i really believed to be something worthy of supporting.. and i wondered if what i did was something wrong.

but now as i'm writing this post.. i realize.. that when you start to stand up for a cause. you set yourself up to be attacked. and the first attack you face.. is from yourself.. because for one.. it was myself who was doubting whether what i posted was something that was going to put me in bad light in my friend's eyes.. even though now i think about it.. i feel that was silly..

then in luke 12:57, which was the verse that i was reading in my quiet time today.. it says.

' why don't you judge for yourselves what is right? as you are going with your adversary to the magistrate, try hard to be reconciled to him on the way, or he may drag you off to the judge, and the judge turn you over to the officer, and the officer throw you into prison. i tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.'

the first question leaped out at me. ' why don't you judge for yourselves what is right?'

it made a whole lot of sense to me because.. if u take the example my doubting my own actions which i was so sure of at the spur of the moment.. then.. i judged that what i did was right and any fears that i could have had never existed.

i feel that too often, the reason why Christians are powerless today is because they don't do exactly that.. they do not judge for themselves what is right in God's eyes.

not knowing God well enough is the reasons that we aren't able to judge for ourselves what is right.

when we dont' know God's will well, we start to judge with our own sense of right and wrong.

i'll stand by my post.. and pray hard as i can. knowing that there would be tonnes of people who would read it and think i'm a faggot because i think we shouldn't watch porn and that porn should be destroyed.

we are feeding a market that destroys women and men emotionally.

i've watched porn often enough to see that these women are just acting like they are having pleasure.. and most of the emotions that you see in the women are emotions of hatred against men.. if u watched the video, you would have heard this being said.. that the porn actresses hate men.. and those that caught sexually transmitted diseases had sex with more men in their spite. all that yelling.. ' yESS YESSS.. F*** me!' has a underlying voice of 'you'll never get my heart though u are violating me' a mixed emotion of self hatred and hatred against her perpetrators.

the whole porn thing is a lie that we are swallowing up. the lie that ' we are here having so much fun having sex with so many people.. this is true love.. this is how life should be lived!'

if living a life of promiscuity were such a joyful one, shouldn't the porn stars be the happiest people in the world? why then do we see so many of them abusing drugs.. why do we see them dying from drug over dose?

then comes the bigger question again..

we who watch porn. where do we stand?

the economics of the porn industry is simple. we are the demand, they are the supply.

we are the reason porn exists.

be very cautious not to say this statement.. since God created everything, He must have created porn too. God is in heaven and we are on Earth. let our words be few. If we have any God sense at all, we'd refrain from swearing in God's name.. for each of us will eventually pass away and face God. whether we are buddhist, muslim, christian we all share the same fate. death.

so don't talk to me about Christians being conceited in claiming that all other religions can't show you the right way to heaven except Christianity.

The question everyone should be worried about is .. when i die (not if i die) where will i go?

This is the gamble that everyone will have to take whether they like it or not. i call it a gamble because, you actually are given options and a freedom of choice to lead a life that would lead you to heaven. and there are different guides that tell you how you can go to heaven. only the bible tells you that their way is right and for a good reason. The God of the bible loves us too much to want anyone to go to hell. For satan, all he wants to do is to tell you that any other way other than Jesus is perfect for going to heaven. Look at buddhism.. they do not strictly say that you mix buddhism with any other religion. they are really so understanding because.. you can be a buddhist and a christian.. or a buddhist and a muslim.. as long as you like it..

i love this illustration which i read from a book. Going to heaven is like making a phone call to someone. you have to type in all the digits in the right order and right sequence in order to make a call to your friend. why does this have to be so?? no one questions why the numbers have to be arranged in that order.. the system on which the phone works is just that way .. if u want to call your friend, you have to follow the rules by pressing the numbers in the way they are supposed to be pressed.

Similarly.. the bible states very clearly how God's system works when we die. We can't go to heaven by works alone. it is only through Jesus christ.

The whole reason the bible exists is love. God loves us and he wants a relationship with us, because it is only when we have a relationship with him that we can understand why he had to change his original system just so that we can go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven.

its not that Christians are being judgemental.. it is rather because God will judge us after we die. Whether we like to or not, Jesus Christ is the good news. He is a fact.

We either live in denial of Jesus Christ or we embrace him as our lord and saviour.. Because a perfect God will one day have to pass judgement on all of us so that there would be a world without sin, however much our loving God dosnt' want to.

it isn't condemnation that we are preaching then.. because we speak out of love that comes from God.

On a lighter note. Architecture students, this is just for you! :) i loved it! hope u'll love it as much as i did.

THe title of this letter is "DEAR ARCHITECTS, I"M SICK OF YOUR SHIT"

written by Annie Choi was something i came across in a link in Yut's blog. i totally enjoyed it

thanks Yut, thanks Edwin! LOL

Enjoy.

Once, a long time ago in the days of yore, I had a friend who was studying architecture to become, presumably, an architect.
This friend introduced me to other friends, who were also studying architecture. Then these friends had other friends who were architects – real architects doing real architecture like designing luxury condos that look a lot like glass dildos. And these real architects knew other real architects and now the only people I know are architects. And they all design glass dildos that I will never work or live in and serve only to obstruct my view of New Jersey.

Do not get me wrong, architects. I like you as a person. I think you are nice, smell good most of the time, and I like your glasses. You have crazy hair, and if you are lucky, most of it is on your head. But I do not care about architecture. It is true. This is what I do care about:

* burritos
* hedgehogs
* coffee

As you can see, architecture is not on the list. I believe that architecture falls somewhere between toenail fungus and invasive colonoscopy in the list of things that interest me.

Perhaps if you didn’t talk about it so much, I would be more interested. When you point to a glass cylinder and say proudly, hey my office designed that, I giggle and say it looks like a bong. You turn your head in disgust and shame. You think, obviously she does not understand. What does she know? She is just a writer. She is no architect. She respects vowels, not glass cocks. And then you say now I am designing a lifestyle center, and I ask what is that, and you say it is a place that offers goods and services and retail opportunities and I say you mean like a mall and you say no. It is a lifestyle center. I say it sounds like a mall. I am from the Valley, bitch. I know malls.

Architects, I will not lie, you confuse me. You work sixty, eighty hours a week and yet you are always poor. Why aren’t you buying me a drink? Where is your bounty of riches? Maybe you spent it on merlot. Maybe you spent it on hookers and blow. I cannot be sure. It is a mystery. I will leave that to the scientists to figure out.

Architects love to discuss how much sleep they have gotten. One will say how he was at the studio until five in the morning, only to return again two hours later. Then another will say, oh that is nothing. I haven’t slept in a week. And then another will say, guess what, I have never slept ever. My dear architects, the measure of how hard you’ve worked and how much you’ve accomplished is not related to the number of hours you have not slept. Have you heard of Rem Koolhaas? He is a famous architect. I know this because you tell me he is a famous architect. I hear that Rem Koolhaas is always sleeping. He is, I presume, sleeping right now. And I hear he gets shit done. And I also hear that in a stunning move, he is making a building that looks not like a glass cock, but like a concrete vagina. When you sleep more, you get vagina. You can all take a lesson from Rem Koolhaas.

Life is hard for me, please understand. Architects are an important part of my existence. They call me at eleven at night and say they just got off work, am I hungry? Listen, it is practically midnight. I ate hours ago. So long ago that, in fact, I am hungry again. So yes, I will go. Then I will go and there will be other architects talking about AutoCAD shortcuts and something about electric panels and can you believe that is all I did today, what a drag. I look around the table at the poor, tired, and hungry, and think to myself, I have but only one bullet left in the gun. Who will I choose?

I have a friend who is a doctor. He gives me drugs. I enjoy them. I have a friend who is a lawyer. He helped me sue my landlord. My architect friends have given me nothing. No drugs, no medical advice, and they don’t know how to spell subpoena. One architect friend figured out that my apartment was one hundred and eighty seven square feet. That was nice. Thanks for that.

I suppose one could ask what someone like me brings to architects like yourselves. I bring cheer. I yell at architects when they start talking about architecture. I force them to discuss far more interesting topics, like turkey eggs. Why do we eat chicken eggs, but not turkey eggs? They are bigger. And people really like turkey. See? I am not afraid to ask the tough questions.

So, dear architects, I will stick around, for only a little while. I hope that one day some of you will become doctors and lawyers or will figure out my taxes. And we will laugh at the days when you spent the entire evening talking about some European you’ve never met who designed a building you will never see because you are too busy working on something that will never get built. But even if that day doesn’t arrive, give me a call anyway, I am free.

Yours truly,
Annie Choi

The truth when the average guy watches porn.

i am not sure how to start off this post, but for now, shellyluben is my heroine.ok that dosnt' sound right..

if u've watched the u tube video about her which i just posted b4 writing this post, you would see how her life was devasted by porn.. and when i saw the video.. i felt really heartwarmed.. though sometimes.. i have to admit that i couldn't help but imagine how she'd look like when she was still a porn star.. especially while she was vividly describing what an actual porn set was like.

However spiritual and 'religion-ish' this whole thing may sound..

Porn is a device of the devil and it cannot be painted as anything otherwise.

Its addiction goes beyond just the visual.

I just was emailing shelley to encourage her about what she was doing.and i was mentioning about how porn is the idol that the church has to wage a battle against. The church can't help but be involved in it because for too long, this subject has been avoided for the very reason it shouldn't be. PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH WATCH PORN!that is as blunt as i can put it. HOW many people in the church have been attacked by the attack of PORN?..

like Goliath, porn has taunted the armies of the living God, rendering the church paralyzed with fear. Look at who are the people who are waging the war against porn! They used to be porn stars! WHy is the church hiding behind excuses like.. 'oh i'm not qualified to preach about porn because i am watching porn myself??'

cut the bull ... porn is not just a goliath to me, it is a goliath to so many Christian men!

so why isn't anyone taking up swords to go against this beast?

why are we letting our 'brothers' taunt us(don't act all holy la.. u also watch porn right?) when we see the true identity of what porn actually is?

the devil has been assaulting us again and again.. dart after dart leaving an army of casualties retreating with their tails in between their legs? (wounded Christians satisfied to just work their daily jobs). and yet we do not retaliate with prayer and fasting when philistines threaten to take over the lands which God has by default given over to us.

The Kingdom of God should be forcefully advancing where are the forceful men? for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of this the darkness and of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high place.! PORN IS A SPIRITUAL WICKEDNESS.

MEN need to fight this spiritual battle!

because MEN have fallen and because many more will follow unless the serpent's head is crushed.

My prayer is that gone will be the days when Christian men in particular will be so afraid of truth that they hide from its power to free. What have we got to fear? that men will look upon us as closet masturbaters? The real issue here is this.. are we man enough to stand up to the truth instead of simply pointing the finger to this and that.

and oh boy do i need more of God's strength to live up to every single word i have just written. Because the truth isn't easy. its easy to hide behind concepts that are theoretical. it is yet another to claim its definite truth. Jesus is that only truth that we can hold onto that will never change. at the end of the day.. it always comes back to Jesus.

i can't help it. because it is true.

These are some facts i found about the porn industry from Shellylubben.com

I shan't say much.. n let the facts speak for themselves.

Porn Industry Statistics
66% of porn stars have Herpes, a non-curable disease.
Chlamydia and Gonorrhea among performers is 10x greater than that of LA County 20-24 year olds.
70% of sexually transmitted infections in the porn industry occur in females.
75%-90% of porn performers are prostituted women.
20 suicides and 28 drug related deaths among performers that we know of since 2000.
Over 100 straight and gay performers died from AIDS.
The largest group viewing online pornography is ages 12 to 17.
More than 11 million teens regularly view porn online.
Worldwide pornography revenue in 2006 was $97.06 billion. Of that, approximately $13 billion was in the United States.
There are 4.2 million pornographic websites, 420 million pornographic web pages, and 68 million daily search engine requests.

shelly lubben and the reason why she fights against porn

remember in my earlier post how i'd want to show how porn is such a devious lie...just watch this. u'll be disgusted by porn.

Confession.

I'm not sure about whether i should even confess to this at all or not..
or if this is even necessary.
Thing is. i watched porn yesterday night(Fri). and the night before i had my discipleship group(Tues).
It started with a mild prompt when i was using my com beside my bed and the lights were all off.. my initial response to that was.. no. i shouldn't. i'd be thinking of verses. and some christian songs started filtering into my head.. this went on for the next 20 mins. this suggestion.. kept recurring .. 'watch it. its ok. just a little porn and a little wank won't do nobody harm. heck! every guy does this! You are not alone! Even christians watch porn!' or something like that. and then at the back ground of my head... 'christian songs would be playing..' i'd be thinking of how Daniel ran away when Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him .. and how i shld b doing the same.. if u feel the temptation .. just don't use the computer. Simple enough right?
"WRONG!"
this mental conversation.. kept going on and on.
till i thought. heck.. f*** this. then i took out my old laptop.. which was already virus infected.i didn't want to use my new laptop to watch porn cuz i was afraid that there would be virus if i did so.. so i opened my old laptop.. put in the charger. and lo and behold. it started up!(FYI the reason why i bought a new laptop was because it couldn't start up.. and was so prone to overheating that the laptop would kind of self destruct) . so yes.. looks like the fact that my laptop could even start up was a sign from God that i could watch porn! 'yay' i thought to myself
.
i opened the internet explorer.. and lo and behold.. i couldn't access the internet. i was somewhat disappointed.. and relieved at the same time. THen i thought a brilliant thought ' u know... what if i tried mozilla? maybe i could access the internet.. ' and lo and behold.. i still couldn't access the internet.. my eyes flickered to the bottom right of the screen.. ' yup internet connection working fine!' nothing wrong with the wireless card..
for the next 10 mins.. i was half thinking. .maybe this is really God telling me to give up and just go and sleep. and half thinking.. i just want to watch a little porn.. its been.. about 2 months since the last time i watched.. surely i deserved a little 'fun'?and i continued fumbling and trying to get a connection.. till.. i finally got online!. YIPPEE!! my old laptop can connect to the internet!.
went on google.. keyed in the name of my favorite porn site . 'enter'
keyed in my password.
and yes. i'm back on familiar ground.

but again.. i wanted to watch. but the movie just wouldn't stream. for some reason.. the screen hanged each time i clicked on the link.. this went on for the next 10 mins. i eventually opened up the mozilla web browser and . lo and behold.. porn.
as i watched.. i started to wank. but meanwhile.. at the back of my head.. i still heard a thought saying.. its not too late.. u can still get away. turn off the com. but i was thinking.. i'm enjoying myself too much.. screw that.

watched and wanked till i ejaculated.
and suddenly.. i was rational. cuz i had achieved my 4 mins of fun.
All too suddenly.. i realized that i had just rebelled at God straight into His face and going my way.Was i a happier man? did squirting semen into my pants feel great?
i was afraid that i'd fall out of intimacy with God.and worse still.. i was leading a discipleship group about 15 hours later. what kind of Christian leader am i?
i sat up from bed.. got into the toilet.. wiped away the semen. went back to bed.
i couldn't sleep. guilt overcame me.
yet i wasn't unfamiliar with this feeling.. for the past 15 years of my life.. i was watching porn.. for the past 6 years. when i really got to know Jesus, i felt this guilt almost everytime i watched porn. the times when i didn't feel guilty were when i was doing it so often i couldn't care less what God thought.
i knew the things in the bible that talked about God's grace. and that if we confess.. he will forgive our sins. i knew in the bible it said.. the things i want to do, i do not do.. the things i hate, i do.
I clung on to guilt. rather than clung on to His grace, half afraid of believing that God would still forgive me even though this is a chronic sin which i'm used to be ashamed of.. and now am angry with.

I thought i'd like to write about the insiduous nature of porn. For me.. porn is a struggle.. when the temptation comes.. i could be not thinking about watching porn for like weeks.. even up to months. and all of the sudden. temptation strikes. and i realize how weak i am to fight it. i empathise when people say they can't help it when they always feel like eating.. sometimes.. its really not their fault. its just that sin really has a hold on them.
i have Victor who is my accountability buddy when it comes to porn.. but still.. somtimes, i just don't want to find help. even though i know its the very thing i need.

i thought once. twice.. even thrice before even beginning this post.. but the more i wrote.. the more i thought to myself.. enough is enough.. this stupid crap has really been a thorn by my side for long enough... how can i be a Christian if i continue such a lifestyle. i am more afraid that God would give me over to lust and sexual perversion than anything..

my inhibitions before i wrote this post was that.. i was afraid that when people read this post.. they'd be disgusted with me and laugh at me.. 'so mr religious boy locks himself in his house and watches porn at night in the dark.'
but u know what.. that is true. i mean not the religious part.. please don't ever label me as religious.. i'll b offended cuz religious people are so concerned about .. ok.. i have to wake up at 6am to pray.. spend 4 hours with God every single day.. i have to like.. do loads of church work.. and i have to be a super nice guy and smile every single day.. cuz if i don't i wouldn't be mr nice christian.
please everyone.. that is really nothing more than cow dung. i don't wake up at 6 am to pray.. i don't do lots of church work.. its a struggle to me. sometimes .. when i have to balance school, work, play and time for God and my family.. i am equally prone to being worried and sad.. and pissed off when tutors are unreasonable or what.. i don't even think it is even necessary at all to pretend that you are happy when you aren't. but of course.. i believe that there is always a right way to let out ure emotions.


i repeat again.. Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God.
Sin no longer has power over you when you confess your sins to God. because Jesus died for your sins past present and future. But it takes faith to believe that Jesus will save you and really he does not condemn u any longer because u have confessed and believed that he really has the power to forgive all sins.

Other religions tell you that you have to work your way into heaven.
that you have to do good deeds to go to heaven.
Chritianity is on a different league because.. no matter how many good deeds you do, you will not go into heaven if you do not believe in Jesus. because a holy God simply cannot allow unholy people to enter His kingdom. Only through Jesus are we made holy.

The point in my confession is that it dosn't matter how big our sins are. its how big Jesus's grace is.i probably will write another post about how porn really isn't as harmless as it is.. b4 that i'll need to do a little research.
i apologize for some graphic description.. but the thing is.. if we try to briefly summarize the act of watching porn as just watching porn and not talking about how u masturbate to get the 'relief' when you ejaculate.... then anyone could just say.. watching porn is just like watching any other movie.. whats wrong ????
EVERYTHing.
it is direct rebellion against what God has stated in his word.
Its not that i'm right and you're wrong. it is that God is right and we are sinners and He has a way out for us. Do we take it?
that is the bigger question.

Jumping jumping!

i was thinking about this.. cuz it came to mind.. and i believe this thought does not come from me.

There is true humility when you realize that every good and perfect gift is from God.

i'm afraid of success.. because i've been reading about success stories of Christians who have been so blessed in their ministries and yet.. they fell because in the pride of their success, they became clouded and had sexual affairs with the women in their ministries. Men who were Godly men falling into adultery..

these are realities.. which really scare me to humility.

because i'm so afraid i could be one of them.. perhaps not now.. but in the future.. who am i to say that i am unlike them? that is the fear that keeps me humble.. and keeps me from saying stuff like... ' i'm not like those Godly men who turned unfaithful to their wives.. blabla' because these men too know God and were walking close to him. Even someone who was a man after God's heart like king David fell into adultery... then.. who am i to confidently say that i will not be like him? I have no confidence at all that i in my own strength can be 100% faithful and that i wouldn't cheat on my future wife.. but my only confidence is that i can only trust and daily remain in God's presence and protection and pray the Lord's prayer, 'lead me not into temptation and deliver me from evil'.

My greatest fear even as i'm writing this.. is the day when i do not dwell in God's presence. because everyday.. there will be something that tries to take the place of God in my life.

be it work.. or rushing the assignment.. i know that i'm not dwelling in God's presence when i do not sense his peace in me.. when i feel all worried and filled with thoughts like ' i should be doing this, but i'm not.. or i should be doing that but i'm not'..

i realize that when i have his peace... i just get things done.. really efficiently and naturally.. its almost effortless.. and i enjoy doing it.. even if it is work..

which is why.. i'm learning to pray in everything i do. B4 DG, b4 i present my idea to my tutor, b4 eating.. b4 i read the bible.. b4 i read a book.. asking for God's insight. God's advice.. even.. like.. as i'm talking to my friends. i'm wondering what God thinks about the conversation too..

And it is a delight. because God really is interested in all these things that you do and He truly wants and loves it when you involve Him in your life in the smallest mundane things.. i really find it a comfort that i can complain to God all day long about my life and question him about why he did this or that in my life... because i know that my God can take it. He can handle any tough question i throw Him.. Just as i am not afraid to test the validity of the bible because i know that it dosn't need to justify itself because everything in it is true and every single word of the bible is the very words of God.

The bible, although to some.. is nothing more than a bedtime story.. something which i really feel quite sad about... is not just a mere book lying on your shelf. These are the very words of God Himself.

my truth, your truth, whose truth

who's truth?

what is truth?

the general idea is that people want to know the truth.

but then.. they say that there is no absolute truth.. and the irony is that this in itself is an absolute statement.

when u see shows ... those kind of american drama serials about lawyers.. and court cases.. i can't remember the title of the show.. but.. just look at them and u'll see how prevalent the idea that there is no absolute truth is in those shows. And the reasons why people go to court are really so silly that silly dosn't even begin to describe them. ' i'm suing mac donalds because i ate too much mac donalds thus i am fat. ' i am bad at citing examples.. but at the moment this is the stupidest one i can think of.. but i'm sure there are more.

i can say this with all certainty that truth is no longer valued in society if it has no benefit to society.

On first thought, it sounds logical.. of course something is valuable as long as it benefits us.

But look at the implication of such a statement. Only beneficial Truth is permissible. What this really means it that it is perfectly alright to lie. this is obviously wrong to begin with.

Truth in its definition has no room for deception. a white lie is a deception.

but the reality is this.

people choose their truths.

what one person believes to be true may be diametrically opposed to what another believes.

So who can actually assert himself and say.. u have to listen to my truth?

and the truthful answer is.. 'no one' (that is human).

this leads to much confusion and perhaps this is where the idea that 'majority rules' came from.

Socialists debate. people debate. but no one can answer this question as to who's truth should we listen to.

because there is no one who is perfect. How can anyone who isn't perfect put himself in a position of higher authority to judge another person?.. it is on this note that... people love to say this .. especially to people who have any opinion on anything at all. ' you are being judgemental!' or ' who are you to judge me? are u better than me?'

It is probably a mystery why when socialists are so engaged with the idea of being open minded to new ideas that they can outrightly reject and label people into traditionalists.

To call someone traditionalist is being judgemental because it implies a certain favor for ideas that are modern. Socialists, thus who think they are open minded people are probably as closed minded as traditionalists who think modernists are a threat to humanity. To not side with any school of thought is probably wisest. because it is pointless to even side with any one school of thought at all. I mean why bother.. when a modernist today will be a traditionalist 10 later?

after all.. definitions are always changing right? whats the value in a label when it can change at the whim of the next big philosopher?

so at the end of the day..

who's truth is it?

your truth or my truth?

i as a Christian will say God's truth is the truth we have and must listen to.

because God is perfect, God is sinless, God is without blemish. Only someone like God can decide what truth is. Only God has the right to decide what truth is because man who is imperfect has no right to judge his brethren. Its only logical.

By God, i mean the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The God who's name is Jesus.

Not allah, or buddha or shiva or bramah. The truth is that all these 'gods' are nothing but fakes.

Can they help you? Do they care for you even though u are a sinful person? Do they bother about your daily lives and feelings? can you feel their love for you? do they offer themselves to you?

no.

none of these fake gods are truth. but the God of Israel is real.

Do you want to know whether there is a God? well i'll tell you that God lives. and He isn't a God who needs your acts of good deeds to earn a spot in heaven. Because He loves you too much to even want you do these for the sake of going to heaven. He would rather have u love him and have a close relationship with him than do 10000 good deeds.

All religions are the same. This statement is true.. because Christianity isn't a religion. Christianity is a relationship with God. There are people who have known this.. but not heard about it spoken or written explicitly.. but Christianity isn't a religion.

Christianity isn't concerned with practices at all. it is more concerned with the heart. God is interested in our hearts and much too complicated to be satisfied by a mere burning of offerings or just going to church every Sunday. Yet God is simple enough to be satisfied just by the fact that we love Him and yearn to be with Him and ask Him to be our father, the one who will take care of all our needs. :)

This pic was taken of a bottle cap on a stone table for uncles to play checkers at Tiong Bahru road

true Christianity.

God wants a relationship with you and me.

Do you think you have to be perfect before going to God?

how many people marry before they have their careers established and have a good income?

the more i think about it.. its not about whether you are stable enough.. its more about whether that person really is the right one and whether u trust God enough to provide.

i realized, after my first bible study is that Eve has some good insight when she reads the bible. when she reads it.. she sees things really differently from what i see sometimes. and she really is able to extract the essence of what was being said in the text. its really encouraging! :)

i need to really do proper preparations before leading her into bible study though. i just felt so blur when i was doing the impromptu bible study.. it was to me quite a failure on my part.. but from what she said.. i was very encouraged too :)

thank you God for blessing Eve with new insight :)

the wedding post

today i witnessed something.

i saw a Christian marriage, and a non-Christian one.

because of that.. i felt that there was such a big difference between the two.

Jennifer's and Caleb's marriage was held in st matthew's church. and i was part of the worship band. the church came together on a public holiday in the morning to pray and bless the couple. It was one which was warm, intimate and heart warming.Vicar Stephen officiated the wedding.

Shao Xiang's marriage was officiated by a JP. and the atmosphere really was different. it lacked the warmth and love that was present in the church. and felt more of a ceremony and a performance to impress and ya... to 'have fun and drink'.

well...

i shall just stop at here. because if u want to know what i mean when there is a vast difference between a christian marriage and a non-christian marriage, u gota experience it for yourself.

street performer under clark quay bridge :)

Justin, Our engine crusade card specialist :)

Just a regret i didn't buy bring back this pig mask to singapore when the h1n1 was rampant all over town

really old pics taken in korea when i was on internship at space group.. this really brings back lovely memories. :')

Of times past. :) I kina forgot who's bdae was this.. is it zhongx?bdae?

Me n Eve Couple shot

Couple shot me n weiqi drinking some korean alcoholic drink forgot what that was..

EMorich

Yong Tau fu

nothing else matters

today it is timely that i read the everyday with Jesus.

it was about not worrying but seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness.

but underlying worry is trust.

do you trust God?

now that i think about it...

i guess God included in matthew 6:25-34 the chapter- do not worry for a reason.

i think if matthew could have rewritten the title for that chapter, it would have been... trust in God.

the reason why that passage really spoke to me was because for the past few weeks, i have been really depending on God day by day to carry me through... for my interim.. for my urban assignment.. for my research methodology presentation.. for my archi technology project.. plus.. having to factor in my other commitments like.. crusade Dg,LM's, helping with the crusade newsletter.. band practice, breakfast with parents on sat mornings, giving tuition on sat afternoons.. spending time with Eve, going to church.. even hanging out with church friends at Doulous.. and still having time to buy myself some books.. read them.. spend time with my mom in the morning for breakfast for almost everyday that i had to go to sch early(0700) and talk cock with my studio mates.. and most importantly.. to spend time with God in the morning.. and read his word .and even have some spare time to rollerblade.. and sometimes play badminton on sunday evenings.. and celebrate my sister's bdae...and even to 'relak one korner' to play guitar to distress..

I REALLLY DOn't know how i was able to do all these and do it with all my heart if not for GOd's strength and the prayers that the people who love me have been giving their time to just show their love by praying for me.

As i kind of finished my urban presentation yesterday, which marks a short break in this series of crazy schedules and lists of things to do.. i marvel at the grace that God has been so faithful. and it really is becoming an adventure. each day has its ups and downs.. generallylearning to trust in God is something i'm rather new at..

we pray so much.. and yet.. by our actions.. we show that we don't trust God enough.. that we think we have to do something by our own effort in order to get things done..

right now.. as i'm looking back from the past few weeks, i'm like a farmer.. getting my day's work done day by day.. doing my part.. but at the same time, trusting that God would also do his part in enabling my crops to grow and send in the rain.

it is interesting how the LM last tues was talking about transformation. we had a group sharing with a few of the crusaders who still turned up for LM(thank God!). for my part, i turned up cuz i was playing guitar.. lol. :) i really didnt' feel like going cuz i had an urban presentation which i still hadn't compiled properly for the next day.

but anyways, from the sharing.. for my group.. when we were talking about transformation.. when asked to give a rating from 1 to 10 about how their lives were transformed after they got to know Christ, none of them actually was very clear about how their lives were transformed after they got to know Jesus. they could talk about how in the past they used to be unconfident about their abilities in leading a group of people but now they can.. but generally, they were still pretty much the same.. so i guess even though they didn't put a rating for themselves about how Jesus had changed them.. my guess was that.. they didn't really change much.. or weren't transformed that much. Yet.

the reason i could write this down was because, when God transforms you, you can't help but notice the change yourself. if u can't notice that change, then probably.. you havn't been trusting God or allowing yourself to be in situations that would really test your faith..

but i just told the group that i was listening to that transformation starts from a need and a want. Transformation begins when you are no longer satisfied with the way that you have been living your life. transformation begins when you wonder.. why don't i feel and know for sure that God truly has been working in my life.

I thought it was perfect that i was wearing my autobot transformer's t-shirt which Eve bought from China. and that well.. God really has everything planned perfectly. cuz that LM we were talking about transformation.

Another observation was that none of my group members including myself could say for certain what God's plan for our lives was.. we all could agree that God's plan for all Christians was to spread the good news, that Jesus created us, He died for our sins because he loves us so much , and he has a plan for each of us.

the thing is. how many Christians can tell you with certainty what God's plans for themselves are? This really led me to wonder.. how many of us actually bother asking God himself.. because there is no way we can know God's plan when we don't even know God or ask Him.

not me. i've not asked God himself what His plans for me are.

but even as i think about it more.. i'm curious and interested to know what they are. :)

i have hints.. here and there. but i'm not sure myself.. i could make intelligent guesses by thinking about where my passions are.. but i wouldn't be sure. because i havn't asked the Man Himself! :)

But at the end of the day.. :) i'd want to encourage everyone who reads this post to put your trust in God, because i have trusted in God for the past 3-4 weeks and God hasn't been unfaithful. I know that God is really someone i am relying on day and night....

when i'm tired.. i pray.. oh God!! i need more strength.. when i'm walking home and i feel like shitting.. i pray... "Jesus! not here!!! give me 5 more mins and i'll be home!!" and Jesus always answers yes! so far :) hehehe. He takes care of me by waking me up just before my bus stop so i can alight on time..

How do i know God cares? because he answers prayers. :)

Cheh's bdae @ M hotel. :) Awwww

slogslogslog.

and then after that what?

but in this few days of slogging.... i've really felt love.. in a very new way...

i happened to be msging Yong Chean cuz she was asking the SMs to fill in the crusade directory. (which sadly i've still havn't done so.. )

bz larh.

anyways. i told her that i was really struggling and needed her prayers cuz my school work was really up to my neck this week.. its been really such a crazy week.. just cadding and making 3d models.. :X going NUTS! absolutely!

and well... so happened that on wednesday.. the day i msged her, she and Janice actually got me a drink of water chestnut just for refreshment.. out of their own will.. i was so touched!. cuz.. at that point of time.. i really needed that extra encouragement that. and i never thought a bottle of chest nut water tasted sweeter. :) God really cared for my feelings.. and then.. so happened that i was leading my DG that day.. and then Janice and Yong Chean also wrote me a little card to encourage me cuz even though i was bz i still was leading the group.. and that really made me feel so appreciated.. totally made my day.. i'm just recounting that now.. cuz finally one of my submissions is over. barely barely even have space to breath! OH BOY! I JUST WANA GET OUT and NOT THINK ABOUT WERK!!! ARGH!S

anyways..

that wasnt just the end of how God was blessing me through people..

my mom prayed for me yesterday morning b4 i went to school.. at the bus stop. i kinda felt like asking her to pray for me because i really felt so troubled by the crazy work load.. its like no matter how hard i worked.. it still was there.. like a mountain just standing there.. daring me to climb it.

and when she prayed for me.. i was delighted.. i felt so happy.. its prayer as i have never experienced before. because i really felt my mom's love for me being expressed through her prayers.. and it was one of those rare times that my mom just prayed specially for me. it was special to me. thinking about these events makes me feel so happy even though work was like.. all over my ass. hounding me. but.. i never really let that get me down.. somehow. i just couldn't be knocked down.. i was just slogging along.. tryiing to work my way through.. resting when i had the chance..

yeah..

this week is a week of real slogging.. but in it.. i somehow saw where God was working in his people... i had such a touch of concern and genuine love.. its weird talking about it now. perhaps reading this post again later.. but at this point of time as i'm writing.. i'm just feeling utterly blessed.

:)

I thank God for my group mates, Kan Kan and Martina and for Anusha who stayed over to do her work too.. They were a great company when i was working overnight. yeah.. though eventually.. we were like.. zombies.. but.. :)

God sustains. :) and well.. ;)

i think people sometimes really need to know that they are being cared for by people who matter to them :)..

because i realized how much i need to be shown care.. and how warmly i embrace it when i need it. God just knew then.. and he brought in those chosen people to walk with me .

Thank God.

No retreat,.. No Surrender, THAT! iS spartan Law

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE BUILDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PROCRASTINATION IS LIKE MASTURBATION; ITS ALL GOOD TILL YOU REALIZE YOU'RE JUST FUCKING YOURSELF

i thought this was a very insightful quote that Muneerah puts up in her cubicle in school.

entertaining thought of the day..

'let me tell you how humble i am.'

today Kan Kan shared about something which i feel i shld write down lest i forget. well.. i just left my bible on the table in studio today and was doing my work.. when Anusha saw the bible and asked me.. Richard thats a really nice bible! can i take a look at it? 'sure thing!' i replied while my eyes were still glued onto the computer screen.

Kan Kan was doing her drawings at the cutting mat when she turned over and said that she bought this bible for her friend that was leather bound and it was really nice looking from Kino for 50 bucks! i was pleasantly surprised to find out that she bought a bible for her friend! even though she was more inclined towards buddhism. never think that you'd only receive the bible from your just your christian friends. the bible comes to people who need and want it because it is God's will. However he chooses to bring his word to you is up to Him in the end.

but anyways..

i asked if her friend was a very good friend of hers. and she said ya! she's my best friend and she's married though shes the same age as her.

:) yup i was smiling :)

anyways.. Kan Kan remarked that her best friend was an example of someone who had changed so much after she went to the community of Christians that she was living with in China. Her friend also met her husband at the church. And Kan Kan was saying it was the first time she had seen religion change a person's character so much.. but she also commented that her friend wanted a new life i think if i recall correctly her friend didn't have too good a r'ship with her family.

well some thing else she said kinda struck me.. and that was that.. KanKan would kina get a little irritated with her friend because she'd take every opportunity she could to preach to her.. and like when Kan Kan shared her personal problems with her friend.. she'd tell her that she'd pray with her husband about it. hmm yeah. KanKan said she was quite offended cuz she felt kinda betrayed knowing that whatever problems she was telling her best friend, her husband also knew about.. and she was also a little weary of her friend always telling her that she'd pray for her. .

i'm trying to make sense of this case of evangelism on KanKan's friend's part.. i'm happy and delighted to know that she has such a wonderful best friend who is always sharing her faith with her friend.. was there anything wrong with her friend's approach that made Kan Kan irritated? i think KanKan rightly pointed out that her best friend kind of stopped really being a friend but more of a preacher to KanKan.. and i think that probably is the heart of the matter..

i think at the end of the day... we are called to be friends and not simply be preachers and stop being a friend as a result..

i think God had this conversations with me and Kan Kan planned.. and well.. Kan Kan and Anusha somehow stumbled upon the topic of religions.. they were talking about what they believed in.. its interesting to note how Anusha has a Christian dad, a grandma who's buddhist. and she thinks of herself more as a buddhist. KanKan similarly feels that buddhism is more understanding as a religion and not as 'exclusive' because they welcome everyone to be buddhist.. and are not like Christianity who preach that other religions are wrong and that they will go to hell if they do not believe in God... i personally wanted to respond to that.. but somehow i didn't have the words.. to put it across frankly yet in a loving way about how to tell someone that.. all have sinned and that Jesus is the only way that our sins can be forgiven.

i kinda thought that it was an opportunity wasted to share my faith.. yet.. at the same time.. i didn't feel the spirit leading me because i believe the spirit would have given me the words to sayif i was supposed to.

But i guess today's really interesting conversation is one that was more for me to learn rather than to share the gospel. I saw first hand how people are offended by the frankness of the Christian message of salvation. my friends are the very examples..

today i also started reading a book about daring to be true. living in the freedom of complete honesty.

today my tutor TayKheng Soon also spoke about love,freedom, power and control. and what i find really interesting about him is that he makes really big statements like... power and control produces rigid architecture. symmetrical, orderly while love and freedom produces architecture that is humane.. organic .. biomorphic etc.. and he backs it up with one sentence answers like.. because.. power corrupts man. stuff like that..

but the thing is that people still listen because he has a charisma and spoke with much authority in his voice.

as i was walking out of SDE, i finally understood a passage in a bible when it says that the people were amazed at Jesus because he spoke with authority .Few people can precisely articulate thoughts in a very clear manner.. fewer can speak aritculately and confidently.. fewer still speak articulately, confidently with authority.. Jesus was that person.. and the wisdom which he spoke with was far more profound that Tay Kheng Soon ever can come close to. Because Jesus spoke with the wisdom that God gave him. Wheras Kheng Soon speaks as a human trying to make sense of a fallen world from a human perspective.

these few days have been one of revelation and of challenging me to be more bold than i ever have been. 'do what you love doing. ' Tay Kheng Soon.

today i wondered to myself why i was not able to connect with people recently..

I thank God for a few things ..

just a small miracle to share. todays research module tutorial was cancelled. and i managed to escape cuz i had not finished reading my readings for the tutorial and i was supposed to be one of the presenters today.. so i was totally unprepared for todays' module.. so thank God for that..

and today, which is supposed to a very heavy day, ending at 530pm due to DG,but again today the DG was cancelled because of exams. so i'm pretty happy that things turned out ok.. God really was in control of the situation.. as a result.. i was able to fully concentrate on my submission for my research module draft review and the individual urban design assignment.

i found out today that the assignment was given out by the tutor because the attendance for our year in her lectures was very poor.. somehow i felt really indignant when i heard that.. and i felt offended.. because the assignment which i had spent so much time and effort seemed to be just given out of petty whim 'to teach us to appreciate her lectures more'.

and i was kinda in a bad spirit. i realized that i was really anti social... didn't bother talking to my studio mates even though they were all just around the table.. but today somehow i didn't feel like talking to anyone.. i felt wrong in the spirit.

usually when i talk to people.. it is natural.. but today even though i realized i was feeling.. anti social and i felt that i ought to talk to my studio mates.. but then again, i felt as though i was really just forcing a conversation.. and you know how fake such conversations are.......

i knew deep down that there was something wrong with my spirit and my walk with God.. somehow i didn't feel his love over flowing from me.

i went down to bras basah after submitting my two assignments at the department office and called eve. she really is gifted at testing my patience at times.. when i called her to ask her where she was she said cityhall mrt..then.. well.. i asked her whether she would want to have lunch with me since i hadn't had my lunch. she said she had to be at SMU at 130. the time was 1250 when i called. so i asked her to come over to Bras basah where i had just alighted from the bus stop.. but she didn't want to and she said the part of SMU where she had to be at was nearer to dhoby gaut.. anyways.. i was a little flustered and frustrated cuz.. well.. looks like my lunch plans were off.. and i didn't feel like walking all the way to cityhall after i had just dropped off at bras basah.. all ready to look for a belated birthday present for my older sis . i didn't know what else to ask so i asked her where was she.. cuz i could hear back ground noise from her phone.. of the sound of the train station bell beeping before it departs.. thinking that she was still in the train.. i asked her where she was. .and apparantly she was irritated. cuz she thought i wasnt' listening to her earlier.. and asked me.. 'which part of 'i'm at city hall' do you not understand??'.. i was significantly ticked off by her rudeness.. didn't know how to react.. so i just kept quiet.. and thought about. what to do instead.. so i thought.. aiya.. since she dun want to walk so far.. then might as well i go over.. dun want to quarrel for nothing.. so i went over to cityhall to meet her..

i bought myself some beer battered fish (BBF) from Chippy's at the cityhall basement level.. i somehow felt weird when i was telling the waiter ' i would like to have a BBF please..' cuz i thought it sounded like i wanted to have a BFF. anyways.. yup i bought the BBF, Eve who is always ready for a snack knicked some of my fish and chips. the BBF was a tad bit too salty for my liking.. i felt thirsty and had a weird sensation when i grinded my jaws together maybe it was the vinegar..

yup so Eve also asked me to carry her heavy text book home which she collected from raffles.. yeah.. so kinda felt abit... weary.. i was thinking in my head.. ok.. i've come from school.. with 4 hours of sleep.. and i've not eaten.. and i'm carryin an already heavy bag .. plus more books. thanks eve i love u so much..

hehe.

but anyways.. i thought again... no point getting angry right?..

and i was too tired to start a fight..

yup.. so after that we walked to SMU, and realized that her school was at the opposite end of the campus.. and i kinda complained.. but not really also. And she went off for her work.. and i went to bras basah.. i bought 4 books.. which cost 84 bucks altogether.. one of them which i read on my way home brought everything that had happened to perspective about my foul mood and antisocial behaviour these few days..

i realized that i was letting these little offences get to me.. and it was not only Eve who had offended me.. i realized that i was getting offended with some people in Church, and at home and even in crusade .. and it was for small things.. things that didn't matter so much. knowing that set me free.. and well i've not yet prayed to forgive them yet cuz i just reached home and this was still all fresh in my head.. so yeah i decided to blog it all down before i actually started to pray and then .. go and sleep so i can have energy for later at night to do my design and my urban group assignment..

yup i'm thinking of giving away the books that i bought after i read them.. and let my sister choose which of the 4 books she would want for her bdae present.. lol..

i feel quite weird.. hahaha actually i chose one book with her in mind. i wonder if.. she would also choose that book.. :) then it would be a confirmation that God intended that book for my sis.

anyways..

to comment on my lack of personal entries other than pictures in my blog and occasional thoughts .. i kinda feel that this entry has been one of the few entries which i have felt comfortable writing so much.. without feeling that i have to force words out from my finger tips as i have been trying to do so for a few of my previous posts.. they lacked a personality and raw honesty...

its these kinds of observations that lead me to believe that posts like these that come so naturally are inspired by the spirit :)

PRETTY Baby jennine :)

Just outside church

Eve: Sir.. Could you spare me a little bread? i havn't eaten for so lonG!!

Eveleen Sng :)

PICASA 3.5 is simply AMAZING!!!

I just downloaded picasa 3.5.. and it has a totally awesome function called people.. what it does is it scans faces in your pictures and cross references these faces with other pictures taken in your comp.. and like.. you can tag people in your pictures... with a reference picture.. ITS BREATHTAKING!! TO THINK THAT PICASA IS SO ZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WAHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!! FAINTS>>>> PICASA ROCKS!!!!!

imagine.. you can tag everyone in your entire photo album.. so u can create an archive of all the pictures you have taken of your friends.. and well.. u can see how ure friends have changed over the years or even how your own hairstyle or face or clothes have changed... ! OH MAN>> PICASA I LOVE U! lol! :)

PRINCESS POUTY~

An old design which i thought was nice :)

Interim Crit pics

More Pics of Interim 1

Studio Crit pics

Rejoice!

i have alot to be rejoicing about.. :)

Eve, the Acts Camp, God.

He really has answered my prayers.

i'm really only just beginning to understand the need for evangelism..

i think people need to hear about the good news..

God created us and he loves us.

we are all sinners,

but Jesus died on the cross for our sins.

And the only way to salvation is through Jesus Christ.

that's the good news.

I got this from victor's blog.. and he got this from Chloe's blog.. so i think this is really something really interesting..

I just thought i had to share this with everyone.

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden, $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...

signed,
J.P. Morgan

:) God is a good God. :>

Sorry.. i can't help myself :) lol. can't seem to get enough of this movie.

isa 40:18

to whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare him to?

When i read this.. i thought.. to myself.. i'm a fool for thinking at times that God is powerless to help me in any situation.. just because i do not see him.. my heart felt.. humbled..

at the same time before reading that ..

i was reading isaiah 38:18 For the grave cannot praise you, death cannot sing your praise; those who go down to the pit cannot hope for your faithfulness. The living, the living- they praise you, as i am doing today; fathers tell their children about your faithfulness.

King Hezekiah had just been told by Isaiah that God told him that he would die. But Hezekiah wept bitterly telling God how he had followed God with whole hearted devotion. And God.. miraculously took back his words and gave him 15 more years to live.. And in this light.. Hezekiah was saying .. the living praise God.. but what good are the dead to God.

these just lead me to think.. God has given us life.. what are we doing with it?

As i was going home from badminton at hougang sports hall yesterday.. i was listening to my mp3 .. and i listened to this song All I Do by Hill songs.. i don't like the song actually.. but somehow.. the words spoke to me as i decided to listen to it..

I wanted to find (Where I was going)
Everything I tried (It took me nowhere)
I was so tired of just living my life(Waiting for a sign)

the first part .. above really... really was what i was feeling at that point yesterday on the bus..

the second part which i listened to.. was what gave me hope.

You came to my side(Gave me direction)
Strong on the inside(I shine for You Lord)
Now it's my time

Now I've made up my mind
To be all You want for me

Chorus..

All I do
Is live my life for You
I know it's true
I'll never let You go
All I do
I'd anything for You
Everything is in Your Hands
So I get up
Get up and praise You
And I know where I'm going
I know where I'm going

Its funny .. the thing with christian songs...

cuz.. somehow.. you may listen to a song many times and not get affected by it..

but suddenly.. one day.. after hearing that song.. you catch the true meaning of the words.. and realize how they speak.... you listen beyond the drums.. the guitar.. the keyboard...

its like everything comes together.. making perfect sense..

Setting the week in perspective

i would say this week has been a very exciting.. emotional week..

yup.. i havn't really been able to connect with people recently on an emotional level.

most of the time.. i'm having surface conversations..

it kinda bothers me.

but then again.. i can't possibly connect with pple on that level when i'm not connecting with God first.

Anyways. someone made a comment that went something like.. would the church chase me away if i'm such an 'evil' person?.. and i mentioned.. well the church is full of evil sinners..

perhaps.. evil.. is a little harsh. but.. yeah just to set the record straight.. the church is not for 'holy' people... it is for people who need God.

i hate the idea of this... gathering of people who think they are too good for the whole world.. that is bigotry.. arrogance... and totally not what the church is.

a few things i'm asking God for...

1) spiritual eyes. like how God open Elisha's eyes and saw the army of God assembling to fight against the enemies of Israel.

2) i wana have a closer relationship with God.. and hence.. i'm praying for discipline... to be consistent in everything... qt.. hw... badmintont.. r/ship .. dg.. lm.. church.. family.. yeah.. i'm really starting to realize the value of being a consistent person rather than being someone who is very zai occasionally.. yeah.. being a kind of stability.. a kind of rock.. that can be counted on... though i'm anything but a rock .. i'm asking and hoping from God that in his grace, he would answer this prayers.

3) i wana have a close circle of friends i can count on.. and turn to for Godly advice when the going gets tough. yeah.. May God lead me to these people so that they can be a source of advice that i can be confident in seeking.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall b added unto u..

i think this ought to be the verse of the week for me :)

well i'm gona sleep now. this sunday has been good. :)

this week has been good. God has been gracious and loving.

Leonidas and his 300 Spartans

I'm just having this childlike ambition to want to be a spartan.. or rather what the spartan soldier embodies...
Absolute loyalty to their cause and king.. unwavering.. unyeilding.. honorable..skillful.. diligent.. strong.. bold.. courageous.. polite.. serving and fighting as a unit.. every soldier making the army invincible.. using their shields.. and spear with.. excellent defence and attack.. fearless... faithful..

WHO WOULDN"T WANT TO BE A SPARTAN??!?!?!? WHERE ARE GOD"S SPARTAN SOLDIERS???

what if... the number of msges u received from your gf/bf was an idicator of how often he/she thought about u?

An old photoshop i did for Campus Crusade's Naked I campaign. a long time ago.. :) i like it

I'm quite happy with this picture i took. of Park Ji Sung's poster at queensway..
and well i added two words. :) and i thought to myself.. 'richard.. wow.. thats a spark of brilliance!'

OOHHHH YEAH>>>> SLURPSS

CALLING ALL ARCHI STUDENTS!

Presenting our Bicycle track proposal at NUS for NUS

our design project for this semester is about creating a campus that is attractive and green.
We are looking at increasing the efficiency of the current systems that are used in NUS. Esp aircon systems.
Looking to alternative means of generating electricity. Ever heard of Algae fuel? well i've never heard of it till i was in this studio.
Anyways.. i'm still wondering where is architecture involved in this project. still trying to find an idea. A floating glass disco box? :)

And of course, how could we not mention our brave tutor Mr Tay Kheng Soon!

The distinguished guests who attended our seminar, Toh Week Kiang, Andrew Vaas, Lee Boon Xiong and Lee Eng Lock

More studio pics! :) Small studio.. and well really intersting pple! :)

Joanna, And the crazy Halie

WaiKit,DuYue,KanKan,Anusha,Martina

The green studio's first seminar

my new studio mates :) fresh faces, fresh insight, fresh start, hopefully great grades!

The Overall Rag Performance champ of 2009.. goes to SDE. :) Verhh NICEeeee

RAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUMP!P!!!!!

Nina SHaZI n XUeZHEN

Well.. i have to say that we have some very talented jumpers in Archi :) hehe

The POST RAG JUMPSHOTATHON

the blur look on Shazi's face is classic LOL, "uh.. am i supposed to jump ?"

While XUeZhen n i are like totally out off sync with our jumps

QUESTION: CAN YOU SPOT THE YOGA MASTER!?

SHAZI VS RICHARD

YaoSheng and me in dream lAnd :)

The adventures of the balloon heads

Once upon a time, there was a balloon man..

he was the handsomest balloon on earth.

but he also happened to be the only balloon man on earth at that time..

so one day. God said.. its not good for the balloon man to be alone..

so poof, Balloon man had a family!

And then... God added more balloons to his family

Balloon man was happy and thankful for the extra balloon family..

(though he was a little sad that he was no longer the most handsome balloon anymore..)

Then one day... God thought.. i think balloon men are a silly idea... i shld just make their faces more delicate and more 3d..

And TADA! HEnce forth, Adam(Haryanto), the first man was born!

-THE END!!-

*grins i hope God dosn't strike me LOL*

Thats my personal cap collection :)

I'm quite sad i lost the first pull n bear cap i bought .. :( it was one of my favorites.. ")
think i have 12 caps for now :) iF u could find really interesting caps! I REALLLY REALLLY WOULDN"T MIND HAVING AN EXTRA CAP! :) NYEHEHE

BIRDY@!!!

Taken with my new canon 18-200mm lens!
Really wana thank GOD for the awesome price which i bought the lens.. i got it for 880 bucks brand new.. from a 2nd hand shop at Peninsula Plaza. ") the normal price for this lens is 1060-1200. So i only have God to thank. For a poor student like me.. 880 means a 200 bucks savings. :) WHOOPIE :) I've got this urge to get another lens :) A telephoto lens...

Breakfast at a coffee shop along Katong.

Not having an opinion

i should exercise an opinion.

Its as though my life dosn't hold much of a meaning..

i can't really describe what i'm feeling now because i don't really know what to make of it..

My interim is on thursday yet i don't feel concerned.

Instead.. i'm thinkin about how to lead my dg. or how to finish up the stuff in my rainlender..(which by the way i really wana specially thank Andrew for introducing to me! :)

My other modules also require my attention..

and still i'm worried that i don't have time for anyone in my life.

Shld i go clubbing with Jint n co b4 she goes for her xchange?

Shld i go out with Alis, Yao Wen n Mu Sheng?

Shld i go for inter faculty badminton tournament?

Or still.. should i start my driving lessons??

Shld i go for a photoshoot for Yi Ling's blog?

Shld i spend time with Eve?

Shld i do bible study everymorning??

Shld i continue playing badminton every sunday now that my datelines are drawing nearer?

Shld i swim another 70 or even 80 laps today?

work pulls one hand.. while my friends and family pulls the other.. while God pulls my heart.

while i'm doing one thing.. i'm almost always thinking about a few other things that need my attention..Can't really focus.. with the nagging thoughts at my heart.. Only can only trust and pray that for every decision i make.. God is prompting me and nudging me in the right direction..

I'm thinking.. in this period. how on earth do i spend time to build up meaningful relationships with anybody?? i really have to fight for my time...

Right now i'm still kinda blurry.. still kind of in a state of inertia. hovering.. there is still so much things that are pending.. So much uncertainty...

But then again.. so much opportunity for exercising faith,

You know.. how often do ask ourselves if the excuse we give "i don't have enough time" to anyone who needs time from us is actually valid?

Because most of the time... we really do have time.. just that.. are we willing to fight for the time to make things happen..

If we can sit down and watch TV.. we have time.. if we can play a game of DOTA. we have time.. if we can spend a few hours on facebook each day.. we certainly have time...

Thing is.. are we doing the things today that will help us prepare and grow for tomorrow.

That is really what will count..

The only constant that i have now in my life is the knowledge that my God loves me. He's the guy i can count on when my world seems so.. messy and cluttered till i don't really know what to make of it.. Right now.. He's the only guy who promises me peace if i lean on Him. He's the only guy who tells me about doing what is right... who else can i depend on for my own identity and stability..

Right now... i'm going through a trying period in my life.

Simply because i've put alot of things on my plate to do..
And one of the reasons i've allowed myself so many things on my plate is because i know that it is he who is in me that is stronger to do all these.. Jesus.. thank you :)

waiting to explode

something big's gona happen.

i don't know what.. but i just feel it..

Burning Bush Band

Introducing St matts very own band LOL!!!! HEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Twis

Lol :) yes that's me! ROFL.

God's love

God's love is a warm kiss.

God's love is when you feel your heart's aches disappear after a tough day..

The time on your watch is constant like God.

What makes a man?

Someone you can depend on.

God's love is dependable.

Do not be deceived EVERY good and perfect gift, every offer, every bargain, every thing that is good, is a gift from God.

A cold day in NUS

its a cold day in NUS.

i don't know why.. but i'm feeling low.

i know that i've not been near God..

feeling one of those days where i really don't want to think about work..

just f it.

feeling inarticulate.

Some good news to thank God for though. I got a canon lens 18-200mm for 880bucks and i got it from a second hand shop. the thing is.. the lens is brand new.. and i'm loving it.

So much to thank God for..

when i sin.. i feel so low. burdened..

and i've been feeling this rather strongly.. feeling dejected and well .. i hate the feeling.

the penis and the vagina

i remember one of the first times i watched porn when i was really young.. maybe pr 5 or 6?

i had this question in mind when i saw the woman sucking the guys dick. or rather.. my reaction to that was... ' that is so gross!'...

how could u even suck someones dick or someone's puss when u actually peed from the very same place?!!.. its like sucking from a urine pipe..

i apologise if this is too graphic a description..

but my point in bringing this up is this observation..

out of the very parts of our body where our urine comes out.. are the parts which bring life..

its kind of like the description of our tongue in the bible where out of the lips that bring praise to God are the very lips where lies and curses abound.

hiatus

a new word i learnt from a blog.

means a break in a continuous cycle.

Eg. Its not unusual for someone like me to be caught in a hiatus of personal ramblings while the tutorial is going on.