Richard Yew

Independence.

2012-01-29T16:36:00.000-08:00

Independence.
I had a conversation with my church friends at coffee club @ tiong bahru yesterday. It was a stimulating conversation no doubt and thought provoking discussion about the concept of independence..
what does independence mean to you?

i don't exactly have all my thoughts arranged properly.
i'll start from a discipleship session i had with my youth at church yesterday. We were talking about what it means to deny yourself. and one of the youths mentioned about how difficult it was to deny himself stuff.. because he is an independent person and he dosn't really want to depend on God to provide him with things..

rewind back to a service in church about 3 weeks back.. we had a new year talk in service where someone went up and shared about how we needed to raise funds for the new church building cuz our current church has about another 20 years to go before the lease is over. so within 20 years.. he did a break down of how much the congregation had to give each month so as to raise the significantly large amount of money.. as i was listening to this being said in front of the congregation.. i thought to myself.. isn't this a church of God? i mean.. if its a church of God.. why are we not first.. turning to God by rallying people to pray for God to provide? Its like although we are a church.. we do not believe that God, whom we worship is incapable of providing the sum of money for the new church building.. and here we are.. week after week.. hearing sermons being preached on the pulpit about.. its not by might nor by strength but by the Holy Spirit.. or.. God is our Jehovah Jireh, or our provider..
IF! God is truly God, why do we come up with smart schemes to coerce the congregation to monthly set apart money for the church.. its like we are relying on our own strength to fund the church instead of God's mighty providence.. What about faith?? We do not see the money.. and thats precisely why we pray.. because faith is a substance of things hoped for... If God is truly our boss.. if God is truly our God.. if God is truly all powerful.. won't He be able to provide the money? just as Jesus told His disciples to go fishing and they would find a 4 drachma coin in the first fish they catch, enough to pay for their taxes.. Jesus couldn't be constrained by what He didn't have because He knew that His God owned all the silver and gold. Silver and Gold was His Father's!

Then.. drawing back again to the topic we were talking about at coffee club.. we initially started talking about the absurdity of the reasons that Singaporeans are getting married.. in SIngapore.. getting married is synonymous with getting a HDB.. and couples.. who aren't even married are booking each other for the next 5 years.. because 5 years is the time needed for a couple to get a HDB flat.. and the incentives given for couples who are going to get married are tremendous in Singapore because you get to save thousands of dollars .. houses are much cheaper for couples in Singapore.. however.. the time taken for a couple to get a 'cheaper' house is so long!! some couples wait 5 years .. to get married.. because of the HDB flat.. and find out.. oo.. this guy is not the one.. and then.. all the deposit is eaten up because the couples separate.. in 5 years.. so many things can happen..
The most disgusting truth in Singapore.. and perhaps all around the world.. is that people are being too pragmatic about marriage.. we think about our survival when we think about marriage.. everything is so safe.. and preplanned and... so boring!!! SO DARN BORING!!!!!!
no one has any exciting stories to tell about their lives.. because.. every story is the same as the other... oh.. this guy starts saving money from young.. as old as 18.. and starts working.. to save for a future house.. so that... his future wife and him can get married..YAWNSSS SO BORRRINGGGG!!!!!.. i really want to see stories where God provides miraculously for the house.. i want to hear stories of people beating the odds.... Singapore's system.. must be given its due credit and honor.. its a wonderful scheme for families who get a house and sell it and get a great profit.. and benefit.. and they start seeing their houses as investments.. but.. in reality.. they are still very much subjected to slavery to debts.. that can last them a lifetime.. all they have is the carrot dangling in front of them.. that they would eventually sell that house.. and make a big earning from it!IF! Christians really have an all powerful God, how come it seems like their all powerful God is incapable of providing for their real needs? needs like a home?? or is it just that nobody dares to trust God???

whats even more disturbing to me isn't that. What disturbs me is the reason why people make choices.. especially choices to get married.. is it about getting the house??? or two people coming together in union?? we seem to have mixed the two up entirely.. we all seem to have this fairy tale mindset that in order for a couple to be considered married, they need to have a house of their own.. which is true! but there are many people who get married first and then think about the house later.. and when i meet those people.. i often hear amazing heart wrenching stories about how God provided a house.. how they.. got their stuff at a cheap rate.. and that relatives started flooding them with things they really needed at the right time.. its quite sad when i hear how.. they would advice other couples to start planning early and saving money when they themselves didn't. Instead of making the point of their testimony even more powerful.. which is this.. If God can provide for my family! HE WILL PROVIDE FOR YOURS TOO BECAUSE WE HAVE THE SAME GOD!!! I hope this inspires you to follow God and put your trust in Him and not yourself!!! .this would be the kinda advice i'd be eager to swallow!!MAN IF GOD REALLY CAN DO TT FOR U I WANT GOD TO PROVIDE FOR ME TOO!!!!.

Its true .. the more i think about it.. i heard a Korean saying from a Singaporean friend.. The more ignorant you are, the braver u are.. the less you know.. the more things you do.. sometimes,, i believe Singapore's 'superior' education system is destroying the ability of children to simply "just do it" (and i'm not referring to sex here). Sure.. they may know more stuff... but they certainly are much more aware of all the potential risks of attempting anything.. any project.. any responsibility.. they just run away knowing the immense pain and suffering they would have to go through.. children are trained to think like adults at a young age to their detriment.. We are training children to be all talk no action people.. no one wants to do the dirty work.. they just want all the benefits.. Its like.. the more knowledgeable a person is.. the more aware of risk he is.. i was talking to my friend online. and he told me.. you know.. most business men aren't very well educated.. but they dare to take risks.. because they fix their eyes on what they have not gotten yet rather than the risks they have to take.. of course it is foolishness to be unaware of risks.. but great men always declared that they would do something awesome even though everyone else tells them it is impossible.. America sending the man to the moon is the classic example of such a great story of faith, the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.

Our education system trains us to think about pros and cons.. and to weigh everything based on facts.. while ignoring a very crucial part of human beings.. which is their instincts.. few people learn how to trust their own instincts.. because.. of the herd mentality.. they are so accustomed to thinking in a similar pattern.. or following the leader that it is so easy to manipulate people now adays.. u just have to bribe the head of the pack to say something and then u will have crowds of people rushing to make a stock investment.. based on what a person says.. or to.. just blindly do stuff. Yet.... there are so many people who trust their instincts and.. lo and behold.. amazing things happen.

People say Christians follow blindly when they follow God.. To a certain extent that is true.. because.. we have to walk by faith and not by sight.. but we follow only because.. the person we are following is perfect.. and flawless.. I don't think this walking by faith and not by sight people makes people comfortable.. it scares the heck out of people.. but .. for others.. its u either have faith.. and carry on.. inspite of the odds.. or.. u turn back and die.. there is no turning back for some people.. once they walked far enough in faith.. and.. this is not something just limited to the realm of religion.. but virtually in every aspect of life.. people always want some sort of safety reassurance to eliminate the possibility of risk.. and to buffer themselves.. insurance basically.. sometimes..we spend out lives.. worrying about things that never happen..
and i think its partly due to the fact that we've been trained to think negatively. By our school.. by our society.. when people look at unemployment rates.. they never think about how high the employment rates are.. they always look at the negative which more often than not is far outweighed by the positives in life. Which is why most people amount to nothing more than ordinary people.. because.. they focus on the rubbish stuff in life.. rather than the good.. its really about the way that people have been trained to see life.. and more often than not.. they've been trained to be cynical..i mean like.. in Singapore.. it is probably even seen as a virtue to complain.. because firstly.. you get what you want.. and you get things done.. if u don't complain you won't get what you want.. and so we see a whole generation of people who are filled with self pity because they can't get what they want.. and they complain complain complain instead of just do something about it. it as if they believe their complaining will get them the wife of their dreams.. its as if their complaining will get them the family who is loving and cohesive.. people think by complaining they can get away from not having to change themselves because they see the problems with other people rather than themselves.. and they see no need to improve themselves because well.. people who complain alot usually think they are perfect and faultless.
even in pr sch.. this disturbingly negative mindset where... people are no longer seen as people with pure motives.. they always have an ulterior motive. a kid is nice to another kid.. parents train the kid not to trust people.. if not you will get backstabbed.. and a kid learns to treat all his friends with suspicion.. until the people who truly like him start staying away from him... to me.. this train of thought is a self-fulfilling prophecy.We neglect the power of thought and hence are not selective about the thoughts we choose to entertain and the thoughts we ought to just fling out of our minds. we view people so negatively that.. even though someone may have no harmful intentions on us.. they eventually become that way.. simply because somehow.. its as though our thoughts can influence people and we unknowingly can sense the thoughts of others.. and this is all reflected in our body language.. which for most part.. we are incapable of controlling.. we think our words are the only form of communication and so we think by not saying anything.. we would not give our ill intentions away.... boy are we so deceived..

People ultimately follow only ideals and they look up to someone who embodies that ideal.. action follows when they choose to aspire to become that someone who embodies such an ideal..
and most of the times, people blindly follow someone.. not knowing that they are being manipulated by the very person they try to follow.. because man is fallible.. and corrupted.. Alot of people follow someone they treat as an idol only to be severely disappointed when he falls severely short of the glorious image that they have naively painted of that idol in their minds. The world follows and chases after men with power, status, recognition and popularity.. because these are the ideals that embody the successful.. ultimately no one wants to be a loser or a nobody.. or to do jobs that are seen as lower class.

Christians follow one man.. and He is Jesus..We follow Him because He alone is perfect. He alone is God. He will only surpass our expectations of Him simply because He can and He is able to! Though i'm only 26. but.. i have stories to tell of GOd's faithfulness.. my diary is full of the amazing things He has been doing in my life!

But, back to the topic of independence which i have strayed so far away from. When people talk about independence.. more often than not... they talk about financial independence.. they long for a day where they would no longer be leeches and that they would be able to provide for their families.. this is by no means bad. in fact.. in the bible.. it says that if we are not providing for our families.. it is something to be scorned. I know how it feels like to be dependent all the time.. to be a leech.. and to constantly suck pocket money from my parents at this age where my younger brother and sister are both working and earning more than me.. i'm currently earning zero bucks.. cuz i havn't started work.
However, in the context of Singapore.. when we are talking about independence.. we forget that.. while it would be ideal and necessary to be financially independent from our earthly parents. because when we marry, we will leave our parents to settle down with the wives of our youth. We can't do tt until we are truly financially independent. However..we simply can't afford to be independent from our heavenly father who provides all things.. He provides the job.. He provides the health.. He provides the strength.. He provides the favor.. Which successful man can say that he is a self made man.. He is a liar. There is no way a man can rise up purely on his own strength.. He has to have help at one point.. just the way no man can claim he came out of his mothers womb an adult.. It is very true in the church.. people are so independent that they no longer need God because they are so self sufficient. They think God is someone whom they depend on for their spiritual health.. and emotional well being.. and they completely forget that .. God expects us to trust Him with all our heart, and mind and strength... And this basically encompasses all aspects of our lives. We always do not expect God to provide the mundane things for us.. like food.. or our daily provisions.. but God says.. He will provide all these things for us.. because He knows that we need them!! :)
Every baby comes out of his/her mother womb vulnerable and susceptible to death.. Were it not for his parents who brought him up while he was helpless.. he would be dead. a nobody.. a seed that never even had time to grow into a shoot. what less produce flowers.. what less produce fruit.. We cannot afford to say we are self made people.. that would be a sure sign of sheer ingratitude.

Independence is foolishness and arrogance of the highest order. If a man should think he is independent from family and emotional support.. he deceives himself greatly.. When a man starts working.. does his independence mean he conveniently neglects supporting his parents financially.. just because he has his own family? obviously not.which man can survive without encouragement?? which man will not grow hard hearted without it??
Can a man hope to live a life that God has intended for him without relying on God?? WHAT foolishness.
And yet, that is the way most CHristians live... they go through their semester in uni.. without setting apart time for God in prayer.. their days are work, eat, sleep, play. God is never part of their equation until the exams.
When they look for a job.. they send out 20 resumes and when non of them comes back to them.. they turn to God and ask.. GOD WHY AREN"T U PROVIDING ME WITH A JOB??? when they have never even turned to God first and seeked Him for a job.It says seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto u.. not seek as a last resort his Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto u. What an insult to God. And yet we do these things day after day without a shred of conviction.. and think we are doing perfect.. doing the church going thing..

The sad thing about the modern church, with all its glitz and glam is not that it isn't getting enough people converted.. its really the way they think. It hasn't really changed from the way they view life since the day they accepted Christ. they have such a pathetic view about God and what He can do.. they do not believe that God can provide for them beyond their wildest imaginations.. but God keeps reminding us.. no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those who love Him!1 cor 2:9.
They think God is not able to trump the things that they see in movies like Harry Potter, Inception, The Matrix, Sucker Punch, 300.. but they probably have never seen this verse in the bible.... God, our sovereign God has prepared things for us.. that no human minds has ever heard about.. no human ear has ever heard about.. and no human eye has ever seen.. and its a pity.. that so few people dare to believe this verse.. because.. it means.. they would have to trust God completely .. because there is no precedence for the things that God has prepared individually for each and everyone of us. no matter how amazingly other people may have encountered God or seen God move, God can easily trump those experiences.. with something no one has ever seen or heard.. with God , there is no such thing as.. i've seen it all.. i've heard it all...
the man who says that only says that because all he looks at are the people in the church.. and not God who is in heaven..

my take on this topic of independence.. i'd rather be dependent.dependent on God for all of my needs. because.. i don't have any amazing plans for my own life.. if u asked me what i wana do.. i'd tell u i have no clue.. i'd probably get a job. get a wife . get kids and die a happy death.. but that is the worst possible life i could think of.. so boring.. and so.. dead!!!!!! If that is life.. we might as well just go and end our lives.. because there is no meaning in it. its a routine.. and .. we might as well be machines.. factories...

My plans for myself are so boring i could cry..
Which is why.. i'm always asking God to surprise me.. drop me special people to meet.. drop me special quests to take.. drop me special jobs to do.. bring me to places i could never have imagined.. show me what He has in store for me to do...
I shan't say what God has shown me about what He wants to use me for.. in my life.. but i'm so afraid when He showed it to me.. because its so big i can't even bring myself to believe that this could be the magnitude of God's plans for me.

But all i have to really do is believe.

No one wants to be another face in the crowd.. With God there is no such thing.. because when u really spend time with God, 'the one and only!' creator of the universe. when you spend time with people who have really been changed drastically by God.. u simply can't help but transform and be amazed at yourself because you start doing things you never could before.. cuz God has transformed your mind.

Independence.. hmmm .. well.. we can only go so far on our own strength..
its nothing that impresses me.. though i certainly feel inadequate when i compare myself with people who have surpassingly more than i have in their own strength.. i feel so weak and powerless when i compare myself to them... But.. i have what they can never have.. joy unspeakable, peace unshakable unless of course they have the same God as me. I know tt when i am broken.. He would restore me.. and remake me.. and lift me up.. God Himself crafts me like a pottery.. Can a man who has made himself pick himself up without help when he is destroyed on his own? Independence.. neh... i think its for crazy people to kill themselves over. As for me i want to be forever dependent on God for everything in my life. :) my wife, my job, my colleagues, my calling, my destiny, my heart's needs, my emotional wants, everything.

All i can do is stand amazed and give God all the glory He and He alone deserves. :)
to God be the glory!!! :)

reflections

2012-01-15T01:09:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, life passes by like a haze.
sometimes, things happen so quickly. that you don't have time to reflect back on life.
but when you have time to really do that.. its like.. trying to put pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together.. a time to think about what truly is important to you.
a time to think back and think about how you really want to live.

sometimes i wonder. do people really think about life.
how often do we have times where we can have family talks.
sometimes.. i live my life stuck in a virtual world.
its like i'm two people. its not like this is the first time i've felt this way before.
its just that i don't know how to explain it but..
too often.. my actions do not match up with my thoughts.

i have far nobler thoughts than actions.
but don't walk the thought.

i'm at the point in life where i'm finally gona start work.
6 years of studying architecture. finally... by God's grace God led me to a job.
will life still be God centered?
its something that bothers me alot.
would i be so caught up with work that i no longer am able to spend time with God.
its really very possible that could happen.. if i allow it.
many challenges await..
and my desire is to always over come them with God first in mind.
i always yearn for God. and many a times.. i think actions will speak for myself whether i am faithful to Him. to be honest. i'm not a very action oriented person.
i like thinking. but i am poor at executing.

many things i want to do...
but somehow they always seem out of reach.. a little far for me to grasp.. and when i am about to hold them with my hands.. they seem to vanish like a wisp of air.

i know i'm being ambiguous. not specific.
urghh~!!~
the agony sometimes..

But God is good.
seriously..
i havn't stopped seeing how good God is.. each day i have sooo much to thank God for!!!
and they always start from the small things...
Like a small change of heart in my family.. like a lunch session where conversations are very open and engaging with youths. So many times... i see how good God is.. that if i were to record them down.. i'd have trouble finding space in my diary.
and.. i find myself seeing God in the smallest of things...
How closeness in family and friends grow with time...
seeing the hearts of my youths grow closer to God..
seeing my dad give his life to Christ...
seeing my sister want a closer relationship with all my family members...
seeing my mom become less anxious at home...
seeing my brother getting over a relationship and moving on.
seeing my older sister giving birth to a baby girl Angelina..
seeing my brother in-law getting promoted within such a short time...
seeing my cousin get a new convertible and having the opportunity to sit in a convertible for the first time in my life....
seeing my best friend of many years become more himself and honest..
seeing my good friend getting a really good job...
seeing God provide me a job...
seeing God helping me through my last semester with an average of B+.
seeing God lead me to a spiritual mentor just by the hand of God.
seeing God answer my prayer
seeing God use me to write a xmas script and see it being produced in 2 churches..
seeing God use me direct a xmas script with such a short time constraint
seeing God use me to help out in the design for Campus Crusade's ambience design..
Seeing God bring me friends i really can turn to.. for support.. who would call me.. who would pray with me.. who support me...
Seeing God use me to love my friends..
Seeing God give me favor with dear friends.

did i earn any of these..
nah..
part of me just feels that i've been always receiving and receiving from God... so much...
and i've done so little giving...
when i look beside me.. i find people.. who come alongside me in my life.. and they are so different from me.. so changed by God. they inspire me. and they didn't even have to mention one word of instruction to me.. i just had to watch..and i can almost hear God saying to me.. Richard.. just watch and follow these people whom i have put in your life for a reason.. learn from them.. because they are gona teach u things.. but u have to watch and observe them carefully...

their strengths are your weaknesses.. so learn from them..

All i know is that i am truly inadequate. to face life head on..
because i am heading into a world... far different from student life...
it is exciting.. a little apprehensive...
One thing i know i simply can't change is this.. God.
in every circumstance.. i want God to be with me..
i won't want to God where God is not leading me..
i can't survive without God's grace.. and God's teaching me..
from the most unexpected situations.. i learn the most...
from the most unexpected of conversations and meet ups.. i find myself being ministered and learning the most..
from the most unexpected of times.. i realize how much i've got to really grow ..
and i realize..
life is so exciting..

because... i can't imagine whats the next step gona lead me in life..
i can't imagine... what God is going to do next..
i only can lean closer... and ask God.. and hold His hand and ask Him.. God.. is this ok? am i doing ok? are u pleased with me? how are u?

Its a privlege for me to be able to sit down at my best friends house (Victor) and be typing and reflecting.. before the new year really begins full swing when i start work..
all i know is that my circumstance may change dramatically, but my God dosn't.
it is in this i take the greatest comfort... my greatest anchor.. my greatest bearing.. isn't about succeeding in life.. its about pleasing God with my actions..

Day by day.. i'm just in apprehension.. wondering.. if i am able to continue this walk with God.. wondering if one day i would turn back on this faith that i profess to stake my whole life upon..
Am i consistent in what i belief in?
that is my concern.. i want people to say about me on my deathbed that Richard was a man who was the same when he was at home ... as he is at work.. he didn't have to put on a facade wherever he went..
i think that would be a great testimony. of God's goodness... His grace that allows me to be who i am.. regardless of my circumstance.. and to always remain true to what i believe in with all my heart...
that my convictions to one God wouldn't change but only grow deeper with time..

this would be my lifelong dream.

Marriage

2011-12-19T16:14:00.000-08:00

There was a news article posted up by the straits times about 2 days ago. It was about how statistics in Singapore show that more women are cheating on their husbands. And it said.. women are catching up with the men.. in terms of the occurrences of sleeping around and committing adultery. as though this was something that is good for the women.. as though the women are finally getting there.. and doing something good..
i felt disgusted at the way the article was worded.. its almost as though the writer takes delight in the fact that more women are becoming promiscuous..

through out the article.. there was no definite stand on whether sleeping around and whether adultery was something right or wrong.. the closest the article came to talking about whether its right or wrong was based on whether the public thought it was socially acceptable or not.
which brings us to the temporary conclusion that as long as society thinks its alright to sleep with your neighbour's wife.. or husband.. then its alright.. since everyone else is doing it.. why not do it??

and when i went for reservice.. i realized how sad this truth is.. about the increasing promiscuity of Singaporean males.. especially when they start working.. Going abroad to bangkok to 'bang cocks' is as real as it can get.. and mind you guys.. aren't ashamed to tell you that they've given away their virginity to someone they don't even know.. they infact are proud of it..
and the honest stand is to screw around as much with as many women as you can get before you settle down with your wife... and my reply to that is.. this.. then what is the difference between your wife and the rest of the women you've banged? after all.. if your wife can't satisfy your sexual needs.. then you can go bang some banger on the streets.. for a few dollars.. or u could even obtain it free from a one night stand from clubbing.. sex is so cheap now that it is worth nothing in a marriage.. if a wife uses sex as a bargaining chip for attention.. the husband can simply get offended and go screw a prostitute or any cheap lady who would throw away their morals just for 20 mins of pleasure. after all.. he's done it so many times before he was married... its just like masturbating .. u've done it so many times that its nothing.

pre marital sex cheapens something meant only for one person.
it destroys the sanctity of marriage.
because its high chance that the person you've married has had sex with other men and probably has had more stimulating sexual encounters than the final person he/she ends up with.

there is a tendency for people to simply overlook the fact that men and women have this feeling called jealousy. No matter how seasoned a hooker or no matter how seasoned a prostitute.. no matter how seasoned an adulteress.. everyone of them is subject to the law of jealousy. which man or women is not jealous when his wife or her husband is *fucking* another woman or man...
in war time.. Japanese/American/German soldiers.. they go to a helpless village.. take a husband and wife.. and rape the wife in front of the husband..
Imagine the outrage of a husband. imagine the rage of the husband.. what can sooth a man's heart when he sees someone whom he at one point of time cherished so much being screwed by another man??

Yet.. in a time of peace... men are screwing the wives of other men. women are looking for men who can give them their want for love.. and that includes sex.. though women are more complex than men.. men only want sex. then they go back to their wives satiated.. by another woman.. who is better in bed than his own wife who can't perform to the standards that other professional sex workers can perform on him.

The greatest deception is this.. when people think about adultery.. they think its only a relationship between 2 people being affected.. reality sinks when the man loses his wealth.. and his property and his very own children are no longer his own..
he has given up all this for another women who is not his wife.

In the newspaper article.. it didn't use the word adultery.. rather .. they use the word. cheating.. which shows you how lightly people have taken the sanctity of marriage.. since now.. in a modern society.. with modern mindsets and more civilized point of view.. you can 'suka suka' go and change wife.. u just have to abandon your children...

but this is all on a macroscopic level of discussion...this discussion about adultery..
when we look at this statistic in larger context.. it becomes highly alarming and disturbing.. because.. people don't have a stand against adultery..
all they have are excuses.
but yet again.. it is impossible for a man and woman to really love each other unless they have the love of God.

Can a man love his parents unconditionally?? most of the time it is parental obligations that cause a man to provide for his family.. does he really love his parents? i can safely say that unless a man has the love of God.. he can't love his own parents the way God meant .

Its so difficult for one to honor his own parents.. because they are imperfect. because they are flawed.

only the love of God could love a man completely with blemishes included.

It is logical why a man a woman get divorced.. because God is not the centre of their relationship. It takes too much emotional effort and strength.. strength that a human alone cannot bear.. strength to work a job and still come home to the spouse and satisfy her needs and be attentive to her...
doing this day after day.. night after night.. its impossible.. without God.
Why are children such a burden to men?? because they rely on their own strength.. they do not deem it necessary to draw their strength from the true source of living water.. Jesus Christ who has died on the cross for our sins.

Jesus does not give as the world gives.. the world can offer monetary rewards and fleshly pleasures.. but something it is simply incapable of providing for is a peace within the soul.. it is incapable of providing true joy from within. these things can't be taken away.. they can only be given away.. and that's when you no longer spend time with the maker who makes all things beautiful.

I know God is very indignant when He sees all his precious children making their lives muddier and muddier..When the cakes of mud have hardened.. it seems as though.. they can't be washed away.. because mud seeps into the deepest cracks of the heart and encases the heart such they it becomes a heart of stone rather than a heart of flesh.. remember the days when all of us were kids and we knew how to laugh. When God puts a new heart in us. we become like kids once more. we laugh like kids once more.. with a reckless abandon.. not caring what the other person thought about our actions.. we become children in adult bodies.. with the mental faculties of adults.. and the joy of children. our lens becomes brighter because no longer are we constrained by what men can't do.. but we become empowered by what God can do through us.

May the name of the Lord be glorified forever and ever.
Amen. :)

the passing of time

2011-12-09T01:26:00.000-08:00

There is something that I just simply couldn't put my finger on.something elusive that I've tried to describe but just couldn't. And that is the passing of time.. I am sitting beside the street blogging on my phone as I write this post. I saw a young girl walking past me to the bus stop. And I thought to myself. She would one day be someone else's wife. Then I looked at another girl and the same thought came to mind. And then a third lady walked past And she was holding a child.. And I was thinking for a woman to have a child she must have had sex with her husband.and of course there are the exceptions. But... I was just thinking... when you see a woman with her child. You don't think about the dark night in the room where she was busy creating a child with her husband... but that didn't change the fact that a mother has to have sex with her husband before giving birth to a child. There are many things that are hidden and forgotten with the passing of time. When we meet a woman for the first time, we see an appearance. A woman whose appearance is susceptible to change. What she looks like today can be entirely different from what she looked like the day before. A woman whom you once thought of as perfect could be the object of disgust with the passing of time. Yet she is still that person...

With the passing of time, I could have a family.a wife..a job.. I could be an entirely different person from who I used to b in five years time... yet it still wouldn't change the fact that I am still Richard Yew. In relationships... we turn to our partner and tell them... you've changed. And we remnisciese how life used to be better when we were more caring to our spouse. When we used to shower affection and give our hundred percent... how in the past... everything every gesture that we did was appreciated and received with gratitude and affection. But with the passing of time. That too hanges.. cuz with time a man's strength wanes.with the passing of time... what used to enthrall us merely become experiences.. that either are forgotten or become glorified remnants of a past that no longer is in existence.

With the passing of time.. we realize. Things are always changing

was any great man never extreme?

2011-11-12T02:47:00.000-08:00

which normal man has ever been extraordinary?

greatness.. is something people want for themselves.
but it isn't something they would pay the price for.
greatness requires sacrifices that people would never see.. because those sacrifices are all made behind the scenes.. those sacrifices were made long before they became great. They all started as decisions.. invisible..

the call to follow Jesus is a great call.
it is a call to be great in the eyes of God.
but it may not necessarily equate to being great in the eyes of men.

greatness always starts in the invisible realm.
this is a fact.
for which man was made great by looking at the world as it was?
no.. it was the great who looked at the world and saw things that never happened as though they had. it was the great who looked at life and saw things to come that may or may never happen. and they lived according to what they perceived in their intuition.

they had the ingredient that transformed the ordinary man into a great man.

Faith.
The substance of things hoped for and the confidence about what is not seen.
we as Christians are called to set our eyes always on things that are unseen for the things that are unseen are eternal. but the things that are seen are only temporary.

Faith is this. to believe that the world was formed at God's command.
this goes beyond all rationality. the implication of such a belief is tentamount to saying that all that we see as created came out of a realm that is invisible.

but it makes weird sense.
because.. when you look at every single thing you can imagine.. buildings, laptops, houses, books, handphones, cars... from the shape, to the design to the colour ... there is not one thing that is created that did not orginate from the invisible realm of thoughts.

then.. comes to mind.. what is the origin of all thoughts? how many of our thoughts really creative thoughts truely come from us? are they not borrowed? or copied?
but how about the original creative people? people like Leonardo Da vinci.. or Pablo Picaso. from where did their remarkable thoughts originate? were they not human like us? why then did they receive supernatural ideas that no man during that era could ever conceive??

the bible is true.
every word is true.
because this is what the bible says about all creation.
this is what the bible says about every single physical object... be it a cup .. or a tree... or a building.. or a car... the bible says that what is seen was not made out of what was invisible.in other words. all that you see.. is made out of what is invisible. mind you there is a big difference between made up of and made out of.

out of the thoughts which God has put in our heads, what is in the invisble realm comes into realization in the physical realm.

it has taken place over and over again.. but man in his arrogance has called all these 'his' own creativity... and in so doing.. robbed God of the glory that He deserves.
how merciful and how loving God is. how merciful and loving God is
How mercifcul and loving God is.

the meaninglessness of life.

2011-10-24T21:01:00.000-07:00

If you want to be discouraged by life. Read the bible. Its one of the most discouraging books you can read.
Read the book of ecclesiastes and it will tell you all about the meaninglessness of life.
If you want to be filled with despair read the bible. because it tells you that everything is meaningless.

And the scariest part is. you will agree with what the bible says about the meaninglessness of life. because it is indeed meaningless.

so read the bible and be encouraged. :)

richard... Be a man.. do the right thing.

2011-10-04T02:23:00.000-07:00

i realized with some horror today that i don't even know how to take care of myself.
It took people who were younger than me to show me how pathetic i was.
People who are younger than me are getting jobs.. teaching tuition to pay for their school fees... they are trying to make ends meet by paying for their own stuff..
while me...
a 26 year old... who professes to follow Christ, has done virtually nothing about his work.

I'm literally useless. Being brought up by my family too well perhaps.. and not knowing how to take care of myself... that i can't even help to do house work.. and things tt would benefit the family more..
i've got more time.. but i'm not making good use of it..

i know that my responsibility is not just limited to keeping my room clean.
when i look at myself. i think...
God help me!
You know how weak i am.
Lead me!!! so i can be a man and not behave like a boy.

A question on my mind

2011-09-18T17:46:00.001-07:00

There is a question on my mind.which is this how do i have a relationship with myself?
I was having a prayer meeting last week and we had a sharing. and the topic was about how is your relationship with yourself?

and i think its a question i've not thought about. though it did cross my mind before.
i'll probably just dish out whatever that comes into mind.

I find myself very different from most people. because i don't really care much about myself the usual way others do. i don't care alot about getting things for myself.. like.. good grades.. and clothes.. and things.. like even if i wanted to go for a holiday.. i'd be too lazy to work for it.. and it disturbs me quite abit. but not enough for me to do anything about it.
but the things that i care for myself is my rest.. and my personal time.. do i have my own quiet time.. and do i have space where i can sit down and reflect. which is one of my favorite past times.. i could write on and on if i had space and time to reflect in my journal.. and then i'd forget what i write in my journal.. because i'm just dumping information into a book.. and pretty much moving on in life.
it dosn't really change me.

i don't care for alot of things.. i don't really care whats going on in the world.. i don't care... what happening in the lives of most of my friends.. unless i'm in a setting where i would talk to them.. and pretty much i'm preoccupied with my own thoughts.. and i'm lost in my own world...
I"m lost in thoughts about how God is real and how He can use me. And how He can use a dreamer like me... whose room is so untidy.. whose bed is full of books.. but i don't really read the books.. and have been too lazy to do so.. who hasn't been spending time at home... and who can't really be bothered about whats going on at home...
my life is full of things i should be worried about.. but somehow the one thing that really gets to me is whether i am walking in a way that is honoring to God..
and there is a heckload of things i know i should be doing like my project work.. like a script i'm supposed to help my friend with for Christmas.. like the tonnes of photos i'm supposed to edit and upload on facebook.. like.. the newspapers i should be reading so i know how to pray better for the world.. hmmm like... the times i should be studying and reading up on things so that i would be kept up to date with my work...
but somehow..they are always so far away.... and my mind gets really intimidated... i've got so little time and so manythings to do.. go out with friends who matter. go for prayer in the morning.. reading God's word.. things that hardly seem important to anyone who dosn't see the need for God in their lives.

But what is the relationship that i have with myself in all of these?
i don't know.. because.. i think it dosn't really matter to me.. my confidence comes from God. and sometimes i don't even know what that means...
but i do know that in the times when i feel so inadequate.. when i feel that i should be doing work but still i spend time to be with God, my soul is constantly restored.

really.. alot of things become meaningless to me.... to chase after cars.. to chase after fashion trends.. to try to seek fame and fortune. of course... i may be saying all these now because i don't have them. and people might say i am just comforting myself. but in light of being able to taste of the supernatural.. to taste of heaven on earth. to know what it is like to touch God even while on earth.. thats something that captivates me as a moth drawn to a candle light. it captivates my heart each time i read the bible and something springs out at me that i've never realized.. and when the experiences i have in my life support that God's word is true... and that what He says is real.... that the Holy Spirit really does move .. and it isn't some gust of wind that just gives you peace.. but that Holy Spirit contains power to break strongholds of sin in families.. to break the iron clad hearts that we have created when life becomes tough.. and things we never expect to happen in our lives happen..
with God.. rather than our hearts becoming more hard hearted... they become more soft and vulnerable... where people start to clam up.... God in us causes our hearts to open up and even be susceptible once again to pain.. and hurt.. God in our hearts calls us to step out and take the initiative... and share love with a person.

But lo and behold.. we are people who are hardened.. and unreceptive and.. things in this world always seem much more attractive than what God has in store..
the world looks at the outward appearance.. while God looks at what is inside...
God uses imagery like treasures in jars of clay... treasures in the most unseeming looking things... He puts treasures in people who are weird and even unattractive.
its like in transformers... all the decepticons always look more cool... they have much more cool designs than the autobots.. but somehow.. the autobots seem to win all the time. they have heart.. where the decepticons have appearances.

in our lives...
what are the things that are most endearing to us?

is it the glitzy diamonds and cars? or the friends we grow up with in life? is it the super elite bosses we work for whom we highly esteem ? or our parents whom we see major character defects in simply because we see them at their ugliest and their most beautiful?

Although its obvious.. that on our deathbeds... we never think about things like.. oh... i hope my business is doing well. Rather.. we wonder about things like.. i wonder if i've made a difference in the lives of the people i've been with... when we are going to die.. the things that matter the most wouldn't be the things of this world.. it would be the treasures hidden in jars of clay.. it would be the people whom we have grown up with.. it would be the friends who have not fallen away over the years.. it would be the people whom you have shared your life with.

and of course.. on your deathbed.. you would then ponder about the question.. what's next. is there a life after death? What are the things in our lives that we are striving after .. are they of eternal value?
which man can say that his career is of eternal value? Man fights for something he cannot keep. He goes for women who would leave him for better men. He goes for what other people prize as desirable even though he has not much use for that. whats the point in that?

Only what is unseen is of eternal value.. only Jesus is the one thing worth seeking after all our lives.

feeling low?

2011-09-07T22:04:00.000-07:00

have u been feeling down?
have you been wondering what on earth you are doing with your life?
Have u been looking at your work daily.. wondering.. if this is all that your whole life will be like?
have you ever wondered... wow.. how it would be like to travel around the world and see all the things people dream of seeing. but when u got down to it... actually... it wasn't all that great.. the buildings you saw in the books.. weren't as nice as they looked in real life..
but when people ask .. how was your holiday? your instinctive reply is... it was awesome! we did this and that and this and that and it was wonderful!

and u wonder...
was it really that great?
and people dream about their dream car.. the Lamborghini.. or the dress that some movie star wore..
and they fantasize... oh.. how great it would be like if i got a Lamborghini.
how great it would be if i had what others had.. an Ipad.. or a samsung galaxy tab 10.1.

How great it would be.
and when you get it.. then.. suddenly.. it wasn't all that great...
the Lamborghini is so noisy.. and the roads so bumpy cuz its so low... and i can't go around without worrying that someone might scratch my expensive car..
the dress that you've been dreaming of getting suddenly looks a whole lot duller than it looked in the photoes and worst of all.. it dosn't even look good on you.

the world promises us things that never satisfy....
all the smart slogans are empty promises. They appeal to a desire that no product can even come close to fulfilling.
and as a result.... we settle for so much less.
so much less in our lives...
the pinnacle of life for most become their career.. and prestige.. about what someone has done... and achieved... people now try to be youtube celebrities.. they do things where they abandon their dignity just for the desire to be known by people.. so that they wouldn't be a nobody their whole lives..

we totally fall short of what deep inside we know we ought to be. Deep down inside all of us there is always this knowledge that we were made to be great. And it may sound cliched .. when you hear stuff like.. how people try to give themselves a self esteem boost by saying they are great they are great... but they eventually end up someone who tries to copy someone else. No matter who you are... people always want to be like their hero. They want to be like the people they admire. They train themselves.. and they torture themselves to be someone they are not.. and they do so because they assume that that's what everyone else thinks is cool...
and so they forget to be the person they were created to be.
People so often do not know who they are because they are told what to be.
The voice that calls out to these people are really what you see in television and in movies...
these movies are a poor substitute for God's calling in their lives... some people watch a movie and they see what they'd like to be.. and they model their lives after a movie character... a figment of someone else's imagination.

They do not realize that God's calling for their lives is far beyond their imaginations.. God would lead them on a journey they would never have fathomed...
if people really knew or understood that God never intended for people to live normal lives... they would come to God seeking and searching for an answer to the lives they hate.
the life of fear... fear of not meeting bills.. fear of not getting a promotion.. fear of not meeting a dateline.. fear of not meeting up to expectations.. fear of not being able to provide for their family....
people are daily being harassed left right and centre by fear... of the unknown.. fear of the future.. which daily is painted in a bleaker and bleaker light...

they do not realize that God is sovereign.. that God will take care of them.. that God has been taking care of them all their lives.. they do not realize the immense amount of things they received that they never worked for.. but are so fixated on working for the things that they want to achieve for their own personal vain glory..

the bible says that people are harrassed and without a shepherd. They do not know the good news from the church.. even though the church has been around for 2000 years. all they hear about the bible are laws and more laws... religion becomes detestable... but that was never the way things were supposed to be with the gospel..
it is about knowing that God is in charge in our lives.. and we really have to trust in one thing.. that God loves us and sent His son to die for our sins. and we have to believe in Him. In Jesus Christ. because Jesus wishes to bear our burdens.

You never know what that means until you have experienced your heavy heart suddenly being lifted and you feel light again because there is power in God's word.. when God's word is spoken.. it brings life. Heavy hearts and weariness is suddenly lifted. No longer do people feel that life is hopeless.. it is impossible to feel hopeless when your hope is in Jesus.

My prayer is that you would taste and see that the Lord is good.. that He isn't someone intangible... but He speaks and uplifts your spirits when the situation is so bleak.

You would have to repent and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and saviour. Because He came to set us captives free.

positive reinforcement: the most ridiculous parenting tip u could give to any parent.

2011-08-26T08:51:00.000-07:00

proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

i was talking to some of my crusade friends at the arts corner. Joeyee n Limin n Chorks were there.

i was thinking about this as i was taking the train ride home.
i was thinking about how certain ideas may sound very appealing and humanistic.. but the deeper issues i feel are disturbing.

in psychology...psychologists are taught that positive reinforcement is better than disciplining the child with a rod. See .. they say that you don't need to whack a child to make him obey you. because using a cane to spank all the folly out of a kid is considered barbaric and inhumane. In the name of humanity.. any kind of discipline on a kid is considered as "not so civilized".

i think on the surface.. this whole idea of positive reinforcement is tantilizing. parents don't have to suffer the heart break of hitting their kids when they steal, or lie, or refuse to obey their parents.. all they have to do is bribe their kids with a reward. u see.. u train a kid the way you train a dog.. you'll raise up a pack of dogs.

now let me explain the difference between the rod and the reward method of getting a child to obey his/her parents.
The argument against the rod is basically this. Psychological trauma. this means.. when you hit a kid, you could potentially cause him to become emotionally unhealthy..

however.. the reward method allows you to coax your kid into obedience by constantly bribing your child with things that he likes. Now.. how could such an innocent and seemingly humane method be bad?

the issue here ... is not about psychological trauma tt e kid suffers because of a parent caning a child. the issue is really about how kids start making decisions in life.

a kid who is trained with a cane grows up with morals. A kid who grows up with a cane makes decisions based on principles because the decisions he makes are based on what he knows to be right or wrong.

Does this mean a kid who grows up with positive reinforcement dosn't have morals?
firstly.. let me paint a picture. when a kid grows up with positive reinforcement.. he makes decisions based on what he would get in return. say... a kid does something bad. The child is punished by sending him to his room and taking away his priviledges. then.. after that... when the child is good, you give him like the toys he always wanted.. and kid is happy, parent is happy.. cuz kid obeys parents...
for a while... this could work well... because young kids are easy to please..
but sooner or later... when all the needs of the kids are already being provided for... positive reinforcement no longer has any hold on the kid.. because the parents no longer can provide the kid with the desires of his heart... because some kids just can't be bribed cuz their ransom is too high.
as a result... at the end of the day.. the parent becomes a slave to the child. because in order to get the child to submit to the parent, the parent has to offer something in exchange for the child's submission.. kinda ironic.. cuz now the child is the one disciplining the parent... i.e.. the kid thinks he has a right to scold the parent because the parent is not providing him with better bribes in order for him to be coerced into behaving the way the parent wants him to..
the way the child makes a decision then is very much based on.. a reward system.
which explains the phenomenon you see in the London riots. in order for the government to be voted in... you have to provide enough incentives for the people to obey you. since u can't anyhow discipline them.

as a result.. you get a generation of people who think the whole world owes them a living even though their contributions to the world is worthless.

positive reinforcement my ass.

take that simple rod.. and whack the rudeness out of your child. Then he would know that it is wrong because it is wrong.. rather than it is wrong because he would not be able to watch his favorite show ..

the 'positively reinforced' child would grow up without realizing that he is making decisions only to get what he wants.. rather than making decisions based on principles, morals, etc.

so if u really want ure child to be a spoilt brat. please continue with positive reinforcement.

otherwise you'd raise up a pack of dogs who would do anything for scraps...rather than men who would do things based on their principles.

the presidential election

2011-08-26T08:42:00.001-07:00

Tan Kin Lian
definitely won't win my vote... which crazy guy suggests 1500 for NS men.. obviously he's just boot licking to get the votes of the majority by playing the heart strings of the parents and their precious army boys. totally not president worthy material... dosn't know how to think for the country..
Tan Cheng Bock
definitely won't win my vote. the president's job is not to do reports of Singapore's reserves. like... i'm not so hard up about being transparent.
Tan Jee Say
if anyone votes this man.. he's probably been bribed. he looks the most untrustworthy amongst all the presidential candidates.
Tan Tony
so.. i guess. Tony Tan's my man.

2011-08-22T03:06:00.001-07:00

do u ever feel that sometimes.. God is speaking.. but part of you is so afraid to accept that possibility?
i'm really tired cuz there are so many things happening.. but i thank God that He cares so much about me . He really does!!

life at a glance.

2011-08-22T02:58:00.000-07:00

so many things happened in a week.. that it feels like a month just passed.
and its really really been a week of wonderful time with God and spending time with Him. and Him alone. and sometimes.. i get really distracted..
but God always has His way of drawing us back to Him. :)
And sometimes.. its soo easy.. to see God at work.. be amazed.. and go on life as though nothing has happened.
to live as though He didn't do a thing..
no that's a scary thought..
yet.. i wouldn't know how to live otherwise.
but..
At the end of the day.. i just want to give glory. to God.
and all i really want to know is Him.
To know tt what i've done is pleasing in His sight.
Sometimes.. its so easy to lose track and be tired .. and to be overwhelmed.
but.. Thank God anyways that He is patient. sooo soo patient with me.

a hair cut

2011-08-08T03:54:00.001-07:00

sometimes.. a hair cut isn't just merely a haircut.
it is an outward symbolism of change..
and a reflection of dissatisfaction with the status quo.

hence. i cut my hair. again :)
feeling fresh. and happy:)

Day out w e folks @ Pacific Health Care

2011-08-04T09:29:00.000-07:00

JUMP!!!

2011-08-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

reflections

2011-08-04T09:23:00.001-07:00

i love singapore

2011-08-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

orchid

2011-08-04T09:17:00.000-07:00

;)

2011-08-04T09:15:00.000-07:00

gaga

2011-08-04T09:14:00.001-07:00

balance

2011-08-04T09:14:00.000-07:00

Clara's bdae

2011-08-04T09:10:00.000-07:00

monkeys sighted!

2011-08-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

KTM w e youth

2011-08-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

e vietnam team b4 flying off

2011-08-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

OUt with awesome Friends from Crusade

2011-07-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

ghost of thesis past

2011-07-31T07:19:00.000-07:00

questions.

2011-07-31T07:12:00.000-07:00

i have to really ask myself sometimes.

the system

2011-07-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

when you look at movies...
it seems that the themes are about breaking out of the system.
look at the matrix.
its about humans breaking out of the system... about humans who have been trying to fight the system because it is simply turning humans into machines..
for those who managed to break out of the reality and see the real world as it is... they then regret ever having taken the pill( i can't remember which colour).
and they would even betray what is the truth to return back to a lie.
but look at the kind of opposition you make when u decide to turn your back on the system.
Machines are so much more reliable than humans. They do as they are told when they are told.
Humans on the other hand are unpredictable. unreliable.. and they operate almost arbitrarily and make no logical sense whatsoever.

In this day an age. our system is a work system. We have become entrapped in a system that dictates that we have to literally work like slaves to earn a paltry amount of money. at the expense of our family and relationships.
With higher pay... more of our time becomes part of the system's time.

If there is a revolution that ought to be started.. it ought to be a revolution to put a cap on the number of working hours a day. family ties are daily being withered down.
because of the system we have come to embrace as our life support system.
but are we truly living?
that is the question each one of us has to really ask ourselves.

galations 6:9-10

2011-07-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up. Therefore as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

this is something i find difficult.
to persist doing good.
to persist believing
to still continue serving when it seems as though.. you probably have done enough.. and people wouldn't blame you if you didn't serve as actively as you did before..
but still... continue doing good anyway.

and God promises those who persevere a harvest.

:)

Lord, my heart is weary.. and my body is weak.. but Lord i pray that that wouldn't hinder me from doing good. :)

is it all about Heaven and Hell?

2011-07-24T02:36:00.000-07:00

as i was talking to my best friend, Vic today.. and as we were talking about a topic on heaven and hell, i was reflecting on the recent blog post i wrote i thought i ought to add on more thoughts about heaven and hell.

We were discussing about why using the reality of heaven and hell to scare people into believing Jesus Christ is bad.

and the potential implications of doing so.

Now before that i was at a discussion session with my church elders.. and we were talking about how other religions who talk about how through their own effort, they can earn their way into heaven through doing good deeds. And this is regarded as a false teaching in the eyes of CHristianity because only through Jesus can we go to heaven. Because the idea of what a good deed is is relative.

now if people were to think about how Christians sometimes tend to use the hell fire and brimstone tactic to scare non-believers into believing Christ(which i must admit i had unwittingly done so in my previous blog post)there somehow seems to be a fundamental logical flaw for any Christian to even employ such a tactic.

now.. if people were to be introduced to Christ as the only way to go to heaven.. they start off on the wrong note to knowing Christ. Because people would only see Jesus Christ as a means to an end.. As the way only way to go to heaven.
now the reason why it is necessary to be so nitty gritty about whether it is right or wrong to tell people that if they do not believe in Jesus Christ they would go to hell when evangelizing is the impliciations of introducing Christ to people the way doomsday prophets do.
Now in Christianity.. the object of worship is Jesus Christ the son of God.
That is always first.

however, when Christians go around, proclaiming that if people didn't believe in God, then they would go to hell.. then... they are preaching a truth in wrong order. All truth is not equal. And if truth is spoken in the wrong order, people would misunderstand it and see that truth as a threat.

If people didn't know that God loved them first... and that is why.. He sent His son down to die for us so that we should not perish but have eternal life because of the conditions of sin.. and that there is no other way to Go to heaven.... then telling them that they would go to hell if they did not believe in Jesus prematurely would only turn peoples ears and hearts away from God even before they have heard the real good news.

the other reason why we shouldn't threaten people with hell is this. Even if they decided to accept Christ.. the foundation of their reason for becoming a Christian would be nothing more than an insurance policy to escape hell.

Even as i think about it now.. i realize that the concept of a God being real is still very foreign to most people.. Let alone a God who loves them.
However.. although one of the reasons why Jesus sent His son to die for our sins is to save us from hell, it isn't the most important one. The main reason why God even sent His son was love. Because without it.. saving us from Hell is far from logical.. not after we have sinned again and again.. and again..

Think about it.. why bother about man? when they are so Godless? When all they think about is themselves? Why bother about man.. when he is killing the whole earth just to satisfy the pleasures of his selfish heart?

nonono..
its not that God is judgemental.
How can a good God not bring judgement?
How can a just God not bring justice?
Can He who proclaims to be good ignore the cries of his children who are abused?

But i feel... at the end of the day.. people are not suayed by logical arguments that Christians make about why they should believe God. What different would Christians be from the modern philosophers of our days who win their supporters by the sheer logic of their arguments? We could argue till the cows come home about heaven and hell.. and about how a good God could allow people to go to hell... and i can safely assure you that not one of these non-believers would be convinced that God is real. Not unless God first touches their hardened hearts and softens them.

no... all logical arguments at the end of the day are as rubbish when you want to know God. you don't create God out of logic.. because even the idea of god is that he is a being that transcends all logical explanation.
at the end of the day..
how you and i come to know Christ to be real is through a personal encounter with God.
When God Himself would one day come to you and gently point out to you that He is bigger and more real than you could ever have imagined.
It never was about heaven or hell is real.. or whether you and i would go to heaven.. it is really about knowing who God is and having a personal relationship and walk with God.. That's what He desires.

we only live to die

2011-07-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

as i was showering .. this thought came to my mind... after i blogged my previous post.

'we only live to die'.
and this is the reality that people in this world do not see.
and... well... you know... i think event spoke to me in a way i never saw it till God revealed them to me.. how do i know God revealed them to me?... because.. the thoughts i write from my mind are too good for me to have thought about it on my own.

the counter thought which people have for this seemingly morbid way of thinking is this...
make your life count. .. so that when you leave this earth.. and die.. people will remember you.. and you would have changed the lives of thousands.. if not millions. ..
well .. certainly this kind of thinking has alot of loopholes...
firstly.. if you would take such a statement as 'make your life count' literally...
then... Hitler certainly made his life count. Now that's a story that generations would remember.

and all too often.. we want to think that we are infusing meaning into our lives by helping the lives around us. we want to make our lives count for more by being an asset rather than a liability to humanity so to speak.

then again.. such a thought is mere hogwash and foolishness in the light of the fact that we would all one day die. so what if you did 5 million good deeds in your life. you still are going to die.
and majority of people who think that you can earn your way into heaven by good deeds are severely mistaken. because of one fact. Good deeds are non-equitable with evil deeds.
now we talk about good deeds and evil deeds as though they could be balanced out nicely.. for example.. if selling your daughter as a prostitute meant your family would be saved... would you do it?
does an evil deed balance out with the good that comes out from it?..
now lets not mistake the two.. because although good things may come out from a seemingly evil deed... i.e. sin, that dosn't mean that things are balanced out...
because for balance to be achieved.. two objects have to be the same weight.
how can you balance a sin with positive act? such a scale dosn't exist.

which is why.. when someone sinned.. the only way for atonement is a sacrifice.
people killed animals.. and slaughtered bulls because blood can only be appeased by blood..

if you killed a man.. what can you offer of equal value to atone for your sins? a thousand years of corrective work order? what amount of good deeds can balance a single act of murder.

obviously.. good and evil are non-equitable.. it is logically flawed and irrational to even believe so... but yet.... hoards upon hoards of people are deceived into thinking that they just have to be a good person.. and as long as they don't commit the big sins like killing or adultery.. or coveting or whatever sins you can think of.. then.. they can still at least balance out their sins with good deeds so that they can go to heaven.. so they can use their good deeds as bargaining chips...

but u see.. your bargaining chips are worthless to God if they are of no value to God.
its like entering a casino.. and u want to exchange 10 durians for a $100 casino chip. you'd get kicked out for stinking the place up. and probably made to pay a fine. your excuses for entering the casino or purchasing a casino chip is worthless if you don't even have the right currency.. or to put it plainly.. when you don't play by the casino's rules... even if you are the president of the united states, you will have to pay the penalty for not following the casino's rules in the casino. imagine.. what a mockery it would be to the casino. ... President Obama manages to change a casino chip worth $100 for 10 durians.

We are mistaken if we assume that we decide the rules to go to heaven.
we make them up all the time..
we burn money.. to our ancestors... we burn cars... title deeds.. clothes...
but all these earthly things or worthless to the dead. does the dead have any need for clothes to keep them warm? or food to sustain their bodies??

we have been too easily convinced by pathetic explanations about what happens when we die. and the reason is simple.. we don't think we will die anytime soon.

but when age catches up with you..
and i when i see the old folks in the old folks home.. i really understand one reality...
whether rich or powerful... wise or influential... all these once young men and women are discarded into the old folks home by the very children they have raised. THat is reality.. death is their reality.. when they no longer have strength.. when they no longer have hopes... the phrase.. 'we only live to die' is simple truth.

men and women who live as though God never existed would sense the meaninglessness of their existence as they grow ever closer to drawing their last breath.

but how different is a man or woman who has Jesus in their lives.
I saw a woman.. at NTUC... 83 years old.. going shopping for groceries on her own.. with the strength to come out and walk around .. without the help of a maid... without sickness in her bones.. with a smile that you would associate with an innocent child.. with a look of radience.. when most people of her age look as though life were snuffed right out of them.
This woman was praising God.. for her strong body.. this woman was declaring her love and faithfulness that God was real to her. That He and He alone had sustained her.. and this is a woman who had lived for 83 years.. and she still could say this about God.. even though her son-in-law scolded her for pointing out to him that his maid was stealing money form her.. its not as if this old woman didn't know what a hard life was.. her husband died when her children were just 15. but still she had a joy in her... that even young people don't.
You want to know how real Jesus is.. then you've got to find people who really know Jesus.. not the young people. but the older folks.. who've been walking with Jesus all their lives..

We all live in a body of death.
Each day.. we are decaying outwardly..
the young ignore this fact.. only till they start to break apart ...
time will prove wisdom to be true.
not intellect. not intelligence.

That's when the sons of righteousness will stand.. bold as lions.. proclaiming that God is the one and only true God.. that at the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.

what do these three movies have in common?

2011-07-23T06:53:00.000-07:00

Source Code, Dylan Dog and Sucker Punch?

They both talk about a highly intriguing theme.. which is about alternate realities.
Actually.. i find it highly intriguing that i've watched 3 movies... which i just downloaded.. that i've never watched before.. and all 3 of them to do with alternate realities..

i wonder what God tries to say by bringing three seemingly different movies.. yet all three of them saying basically the same thing.
the human intrigue with the idea of alternate realities.
Dylan Dog is about a guy who tells a story.. that werewolves and vampires exist.. whether we'd like to believe it or not.
Sucker Punch is well a very complex movie which most people don't get till they research about the storyline.. it basically.. is like an imagination within an imagination.. where this woman called baby doll is put into an asylum .. and in this asylum.. there is a place called the theatre where other seemingly crazy women role play their abuse to aparantly get over it. However.. within this roleplay.. baby doll has another dream world in her mind.. and somehow .. they are all interconnected.. and happening even though in reality.. all that you see aparantly is a room full of lunatics.
the last movie which i just finished watching.. and felt really satisfied watching .. was source code.. again.. the idea of an alternate reality affecting the actual reality.. and aparantly.. it seems that the alternate reality has no way of affecting the physical reality because it is intangible.. however.. the impossible happens.. and the scientist's assumptions are all proven wrong.. His understanding about alternate realities is severely short sighted..

i'm thinking out loud as i write this..
but have you ever watched a series of movies..and felt as though the movie was speaking to you? its like.. there is a msg hidden within the outer msg... as though.. through that movie... a secret had been unveiled to you that is all too awesome.. and yet .. too fantastic to take as reality?

It is that spark within us that makes a human human. To perceive what is intangible.. after all... the greatest inventions on earth always sparked off from a single idea.. an idea that a man decided to take as reality even before he did anything about it.
our imaginations are the only limits to our possibilities.
But.. to take it to the next level... what if they aren't merely possibilities but realities?
However.. i would also like to also bring in another abstract idea to further mess things up.. this bright spark of imagination.. where there is more than meets the eye... only if you bother to dig further..
for every bright idea that popped up in human history... almost certainly... it met with fierce opposition.. a mechenical mindset.
it isn't the common masses who opposed these ideas... but it was always the supposedly highly intellectuals of society who scorned the prodigies who had that bright spark within them. Primarily out of fear that the system that once supported these intellectuals would be rendered obselete.. as old wine skin that can no longer contain new wine. the old skin or the old system would certainly not support a new way of thinking .. like a snake that has to shed its skin.. is the human mindset that has to constantly change.. as the next generation looks at their world from a child's set of eyes.. it is free from baggage.
perhaps the reason why generations have to live together is because the old generation needs to shed the rigid structure of thinking that experience has perhaps... cursed them with.
too often.. we are so enamored with our version of reality.. that we reject all other forms of reality.. the realities of my generation would be different from my parent's generation.. and my grandparent's generations. yet.. no reality is superior.. its not as though.. just because our grand parents have been through the world war.. that they can talk down to us and tell us arrogantly that we don't know how to handle hardship.
true.. to a certain extent..
but our generation sees hardship from an entirely different point of view.. such that if we were to compare those realities of hardship side by side.. well... you only can say.. its relative...

but.. what am i really trying to say here?

i think i'll just point you back to my God.
Jesus.
People say there is no such thing as truth.. everything is relative.
but that in itself is a truth that you believe.
Truth is really this... it is something... that whether you deny its existence or not.. it still will be there.
denying truth is merely hiding your head in the sand.

many things are indeed subjective.
but the truth that every single person would encounter would be this..
Everyone would one day die.

thing is.. when you die. what you believed on earth will finally be revealed to be either true or false.
Is there really a God?
the only time you will find out for sure is when you die.
is there heaven or hell..
the only time you would know for sure.. is when you die..
because that's when the true reality of our existence is revealed.
after all... a man's soul is immortal.
although his body would die.. his soul would remain alive forever.
however... there are only two places that his soul could go to.

you could close your eyes to that reality for now.. but sooner or later..
you would have to meet your maker one day.
is it gona be heaven? or hell?

Plans for the sem

2011-07-20T16:26:00.001-07:00

People have been asking me this question.. after knowing about me having to stay one more semester in NUS because my results weren't good. for a while i didn't think much.. but yesterday i just felt that i ought to write it down.. in black and white somewhere so that i would be reminded about it.

So here. I'll write some of my plans here. to keep myself accountable. :)

1. Firstly.. the plan is to always seek God's will.
2. Study hard, which means researching for my two modules before the semester starts. About acoustics and lighting, and building managment.
3. also i want to do up my portfolio and make it really good.
4. my plan is to learn how to be more proactive in doing things and in friendships and relationships.. to be more intentional rather than react to things that happen around me.. so in summary.. proactiveness.
5. Another of my plans is to continue to do a part time job while i study. so i can earn some cash.. and not feel so useless at home.. part of me just wants to do crazy things that i never will be able to do when i start my work full time..
6. discipline.. thats something that i want to ask and seek and find out about how to have and ultimately practise it.
7. well i'll keep the number of plans at 7 for now. And the 7th would be the most important. I want to practise remembering. because my memory has been severely underutilized. and i realize that because i read so little and have been failing to do so.. my ability to comprehend things when i read them has been so severely limited.. so.. remember to remember..
:) ok! thats it for me!

resolve.

2011-07-20T02:30:00.000-07:00

its something i havn't found.
its something i've seen in only a few people in my life.
some are born with it.
unfortunately.. i'm not one of them.
Lord. :)
grins u know my prayers best!

raven, badger,lion, snake

2011-07-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

as i was up this morning and well i was looking at facebook when i saw a threadless t-shirt design being advertised on the sidewall.
and then i looked at the harry potter design. it showed 4 animals. the raven, the badger, the lion and the snake.
now.. of the 4 animals, i could see how 3 of these animals were linked to witchcraft. but the badger? how did it link to witchcraft... i thought this was interesting.
i decided to go online to look for some meanings about the badger.
well i chanced upon one website.. obviously occultic, about shamanism.. and it gave this description of the badger as a power animal.

Badger
http://www.shamanicjourney.com/article/6137/badger-power-animal-symbol-of-aggression-self-expression
Badger symbolises aggressiveness, reliance, self-expression, holding ones own, link to the underworld and the magic and mystery of creation, link to plant and animal spirits, fearlessness, boldness, braveness

ok.. right now.. i'll try to piece together these 4 animals and see if there is any link i can make.

according to the website,

Ravens
http://www.shamanicjourney.com/article/6233/raven-power-animal-master-magician-keeper-of-secrets
Ravens wisdom includes introspection, courage, self-knowledge, magic, healing, creation, rebirth, keeper of secrets, master magician, shape shifter, mysticism.

well.. its interesting when i read the description for snakes... because they gave a very... empathetic description for snakes... as though trying to defend it against the negative connotations it always receives.

snakes
http://www.shamanicjourney.com/article/6006/snake-power-animal-symbol-of-death-rebirth-eternity-mysteries-of-life-psychic-energy
Snake, Power Animal, Symbol of Death, Rebirth, Eternity, Mysteries of Life, Psychic Energy
As Snake sheds its skin so we can shed our illusions and limitations. Then we are able to use our vitality and desires to achieve wholeness.

Snakes deserve respect. Throughout history the snakes have had many legends surrounding them, linking them to creation, fertility and transformation. Nowhere are the differences between cultures and religions more sharply emphasized than in their attitudes towards Snake, differences which will also uncover different vistas on elementary aspects of being alive.

ok now for lions (which to me is quite surprising because lions

lion
http://www.shamanicjourney.com/article/6202/lion-power-animal-symbol-of-brotherhood-feminine-energy

Lion's medicine includes brotherhood, letting go of stress, strong family ties, strength, courage, energy, self fulfilment, feminine energy, co-operation, community, Power of feminine energy, creativity, intuituion, imagination.
.. k i just felt this was an interesting part.
Lion in your life means avoiding confrontations and being stealthy. Take the easy way to meet your goals - do not confront them head on. Trust your feminine energies – creativity, intuition and imagination. But don’t be afraid to roar if threatened.

Leme think...
Raven - introspection, courage, self-knowledge, magic, healing, creation, rebirth, keeper of secrets, master magician, shape shifter, mysticism.

Badger - aggressiveness, reliance, self-expression, holding ones own, link to the underworld and the magic and mystery of creation, link to plant and animal spirits, fearlessness, boldness, braveness

Lion - brotherhood, letting go of stress, strong family ties, strength, courage, energy, self fulfilment, feminine energy, co-operation, community, Power of feminine energy, creativity, intuituion, imagination.

Snake - Symbol of Death, Rebirth, Eternity, Mysteries of Life, Psychic Energy

ok.. i'll make one try at putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
What i believe.. is that perhaps there is a reason.. or a hidden msg why these 4 animals were specifically chosen for the harry potter movie. and the characters are put in a specific order.
and i realized something.. of sorts... a progression ...
like each animal represents a stage to becoming something.

i'll just state it as i think to make it plain.
the word that stands out for me about the raven is instrospection. for badger it is self reliance, then for the lion its about brotherhood.. and then.. the snake it is rebirth.

if u put all these together.. i think it describes how a person moves or transits into the occult...
instrospection usually to me is very dangerous if overdone... because you just start becoming so self-absorbed that you become oblivious to everything else around you.. and you become the centre of the world...then comes self reliance. its dangerious when you think that you are able on your own.. that you are capable with your own hands to forge your own future. .. but alone.. you also know that you can't truly obtain more power.. u need a source where you can draw it from.. and thats when you look for a brotherhood. which is an interesting keyword because it is often linked to the satanic cults. and then finally... when you enter the brother hood and embrace it , you are led to a rebirth. but its more of a rebirth into death. because the path to satanism simply may mean tremenduous wealth, pleasure and riches, but it also comes at the cost of your soul. though you may have gained the world.. but what have you lost as a result...

now... although it seems as though all is lost for people who enter this path, Jesus still is able to save from the tremenduous demonic oppression that is so prevalent in the world.
and this is the good news.
as my vicar was saying.. people don't like the sound of jangling keys.. but only people who are behind bars would leap at delight upon hearing the jangling of keys because it means freedom from bondage for them.

with harry potter mania going to an all time high.. i'm also worried.. about what are the subtle msges that are being translated to people who watch it...
people are now so comfortable with seeing demons on screen that its unnerving...
the black eyes of the goblin.. and the gnarly teeth... its the spitting image of a little demon... with a surprisingly nice sounding and deep human voice.
..i'm worried about people becoming to tolerant about demons that.. they start to think nothing about involving themselves in witchcraft. thinking that its probably just rubbish and it isn't real... its just in the movies...
how wrong and foolish such a thinking is.

The spirtual world is real. because if a Christian can say that there is the Holy Spirit.. then that means the existence of unholy spirits.. or demonic spirits plainly.. is equally true.

science is incapable of picking this up. but this dosn't mean it isn't happening.
For people like Richard Dawkins whose arguments are growing weaker and weaker and lamer.. even as he denies the evidences that are placed before him and chooses to use surprisingly unscientific arguments for disqualifing the creationist theory.. people are just now tired of him.. and he is probably as successful as his reputation is.. repeating the same things... in a different way.. nothing new to add to the table.. fighting a meaningless battle against something in vain..
His arguments just grow weaker and weaker.. and still he chooses to cling on to darwinism with the sole reasoning that it is an elegant explanation.. i'm sorry.. but an elegant explanation alone simply isn't good reason to accept the theory of evolution..
sorry Richard Dawkins.. but u are clearly.. deluded.

the Christian walk.

2011-07-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

i've been doing things tt i've never done in my life.
i've been having wonderful conversations with people who matter to me in my life.
its like learning how to talk all over again.
sometimes i think.. just because i'm no longer a kid, i don't have to learn how to use my senses.
however... i realize how much i'd have missed out if i didn't bother to listen to people or didn't bother to observe.

if we really listened and if we really saw..
we'd see people differently.
and to begin with.. i never thought this way till i started loving people and started being interested in them.
but this love that i have in me never really used to be there. It is something that i know that only God could give.

how do you know if you are self centered?
simple.. you don't think so much about other people. i mean you could think about what people think about you.. but that dosn't count. because the object of your affection then is still you. The way i think about my friends now has changed quite significantly from last time.
when you really care for someone.. there is no hidden agenda.

but when you look at what the world shows you about love.. it always is somewhat linked to pleasure and self gratification. Its about showering and blinding the opposite gender with overwhelming sweetness.. its about u do ABC, then you will get DEF results. the world tells you that there are formulae to win the girl of your dreams.. you have to be rich .. blabla bla.

but actually.... they don't have a clue about what true love is.
Hollywood shows you tt when you love you gota be witty and super special.. and pretty and hot.. then the girls will come falling for you. so typical.. so cliche.. so.. predictable.

What about the kind of love that is patient. That waits.. and chooses to love inspite of everything.

love that can be deeply intimate without being physical.

love that is pure.

where do u see any of that in Hollywood now?
almost any love movie would have a bedroom scene.
as if to say.. u can't love someone without getting into her pants.

sometimes we forget the very basics of human life.
do unto others what you would have them do unto you.
when we look for a spouse, we always look for someone who would be committed.. someone whom we can trust and depend on. someone who would be there to care for our needs.
but how often do we even consider about first being that very person for our spouse.

it is so easy to want this and want that.. and to be jaded when all you see in the world are just people like you and me.. people who want commitment but are unable to be committed themselves.

its hypocrisy. its a double standard.

have you ever had friends who have told you what kind of woman they want? They want a beautiful woman.. with good character.. who is not a slut.. but dresses like very sexily..
but when you look at the very friend who made such a comment... and then you think to yourself.. what... fancy u saying that.. look at yourself !u really cannot make it.... and u want to expect a beautiful woman who has so much better looking men and more talented men chasing her than you.. and here you are sitting on your butt and lazing around and gaining more fats and not bothering to spruce up your character and you expect the woman of your dreams to start waltzing in the room and be swept of her feet by someone as pathetic as you??

ok well maybe your thoughts wouldn't be as graphic.. but yeah.. its so easy to want. but its heck of another thing to be the one that people want to be with.

so what is it about the Christian walk tt i'm talking about..
i think its this..
you can't truly love someone till you've received love.
you don't know what love really is till you have experienced it for yourself.
and people often look at other people who are just as clueless to tell them what love is.

However, in the bible, it states that God is love. Until we accept Jesus in our hearts and start to walk with Him.. we never will know what true love is. its like asking a plumber to duplicate a key for your house. He can't.. but only a key maker can because he makes keys.
In similar fashion.. only God can truly love you. because He created you and knows you better than any man or woman can.

wld u accept Jesus in your heart?

a visit to my past

2011-07-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

i was going through my diaries of old...
scattered all over the place in my room.. and for the first time.. in 26 years i actually bothered to pick them up and look at them..
i couldn't help laughing when i read my diary written when i was in Catholic high to my teacher..
i felt so spastic reading it.

i also read letters which my precious friends have written to me.
and i suddenly remembered... why they were my friends.. i suddenly remembered why we were so close previously.

when you go back to handwritten letters...
you realize how precious those truly are.
u can see a the person's state of mind.. and even from my own diary...
there are times where i mistake my handwriting for another person's handwriting because it looked so different..
handwritings really can express emotions.. in a really unique way..
its only upon reading the letters again tt i really felt.. like.. wow...

I have such loving and awesome friends.
and friends whom i've lost contact with too..

somehow.. reading those letters again and reading my old diaries made me realize one thing..
it made me realize how human i am.. and it made me realize how much i have desensitized myself to people in the relationships i have.. because of hurt.. or because of whatever.. i have become more cautious in the way that i write my diaries even..

u can really see the change over the years in writing style.. and character..
but still fundamentally.. i still feel tt God really had created me unique when i read back on my diaries.. some pattern thoughts i saw tt i never used to become clearer to me as i read through my previous dairies..
its as though i'm discovering who i am by reading what i used to think like...
and in light of that.. and in contrast to the way i think now..

i could really see God's sovereign hand moulding me ..

its a subtle change.. but change always takes place first with a renewing of the mind.

an exerpt from my diary.

2011-07-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

17 mar 2010,

i wonder sometimes, when i look around. so many people look like they are living totally fine without God.
i know its just an appearance.

ipad vs motorola xoom

2011-07-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

i don't know if i'll be able to properly write down the thoughts i had as i was going home about ipad and motorola xoom.

i was in town looking at the new tablet models tt were coming out.. i was really excited when i saw the motorola xoom..
at a hefty price of 799sgd. on offer. it is something tt my impulsive blood wanted to get my hands on immediately... well i don't have the cash.. so .. i can't get it.
to me.. it was more than a motorola xoom.. or yet another competitor out to compete against the ipad.

i felt it was a symbol of going counter culture. if have to put it so dumbly.
of course i'll just leave it as this for the moment for understanding's sake.

i'll just relate my shopping experience at the gadget stores...
almost every where you can conceivably find gadgets... you'd see ipad, iphone accessories.. they are everywhere! all i wanted to look for was a capacitor pen so i can draw stuff on my htc desire z. but... every where i saw.. the tablet pens were all catered to the ipad and the iphone..

what about the rest/?? totally neglected..
u can barely find accessories for any other phone model except for the iphone and ipad.
and they talk about customizability.. based on the kind of accesories u have for the iphone..
but seriously.. in terms of software.. i hardly call that custamizable...
everything is fixed in terms of appearance for the iphone. its always the same lay out of icons.

something i find is inferior to the android os.
while apple sells customizability based on the availability of the different kind of skins you can find for it...
Android does it at a deeper level. it's os allows for people to really decide what kind of layout they want for their phone. the customizability lies on the inside.

so while outwardly.. apple sells you the idea that you are different even though you own the same phone as every iphone user...
ure interface is just about the same as every other iphone user.
lol call me biased or whatever..

i love the android os. i love my htc desire z.
and no thanks apple. i don't need the ipad.
i'd rather have myself a motorola xoom thank you! :)

2011-07-01T06:17:00.000-07:00

i don't really have a title in mind.
neither do i really know what i want to blog about.
my minds kind of a blank now.

i don't know where God is gona take me from here.
i've been toying with my hp. and looking at aps to download to make use of my HTC more effectively.

i read a letter i wrote out of angst a long time back.. when i was 18.. so tts like 8 years ago.
when i read the letter.. i felt weird reading it..
i really was very different then..
emotionally unstable.. had a false kind of humility.. not really wise...
not tt i'm any much wiser now.. just less angsty.

it dawned upon me that God has been working so much in my life over this 8 years.
8 years ago.. my dad still hated Christians because my older sister came home late.. from uni.. cuz she went for cell grp. he felt Christianity split up the family and taught them to stay away from home.. etc etc..
i was afraid to outwardly declare tt i was Christian to my dad.. cuz he was so against it.
8 years later.. though he isn't a Christian yet.
but today he just sent my sister off to the airport for a mission trip.
and i myself have just come back from a mission trip from Cambodia.
God deserves all the glory.

which brings me back to a subject that is always on my heart..
especially since in half a years time i would start looking for a job.
how can i be an architect as a Christian.
How do i work in a way where i can excel in my job and still have time for my family.. and also my ministry in church.
I really want to see God working through me in this area.. because the sad reality for architects is that they have long working hours and low pay. their lives a detrimentaly affected as a result of the unearthly working hours.
i really want to start a counter culture to such unethical working practises.
but i don't know where to start.

:) hopefully.. in 10 years time.. after working and seeking and praying ..
i would be able to give u an answer to this question.

i ultimately want to challenge the mindset that u have to work overtime all the time to be successful and efficient.
if Australia can impose a system where they strictly work until 5 or 6 pm.. and there is no compromise.. i don't see why it isn't possible for Singapore as well..
someone just has to dare to start somewhere. Well only God knows how to do it. :)
pray ya ? :) pray against this unhealthy work culture we have in Singapore.
i think at the end of the day, we have to suggest an alternative that can work.
my mind is so incoherent now.. argh.. somehow.. the words just seem to be escaping me.

the walk of faith.

2011-06-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

stepping into the unknown is not very commonly done. which is why.. u don't really see people who walk in faith.

Katie Perry

2011-06-24T18:36:00.000-07:00

i think its interesting how Katie Perry started off her life as someone who sang for the church and everything. Church goer.. and missionary parents.. and all.. you'd expect that she'd follow her parents and be Godly as well.. not that i'm saying she isn't because i don't know her personally so i can't really say much.

however i just was wondering.. how much should a parent control their kid and restrict what they hear.. because sooner or later.. they would be exposed to the world whether or not they like it or not. sooner or later, a child will have to find his/her own wings.

My parents have not really restricted the content of things that i should and should not listen to. They'd just say.. how come the music that you guys listen to now adays sounds crappy? and well when i listen to the music being produced now... i'd totally agree with them... songs like " girl you're a dirty dancer... " the phrase keeps repeating the whole song.. like.. my thoughts are... what a shallow guy the singer is..

my take on listening to secular music.. from a view point of myself (as a Christian) would be this.. i think its very interesting to know the type of thinking that the younger generation has now... whether or not it is right or wrong.. i think its better to holdback our judgements about them being unholy or what.. or satanic even.

what i do feel is rather intriguing is .. this.. if u put a lid over ure child and restrict them from doing this and doing that.. would that truly be protecting your child? would it be better to tell them what's right and wrong and clearly state it.. and then let them choose for themselves the path they would want to take..

because the thing is.. sometimes.. when we tell someone that secular music is bad for Christians... in fear that we might be 'tainted' and influenced by bad music... and then close ourselves to all secular music..and.. when we hear secular music for the first time.. perhaps out of curiosity.. and find out that actually... it isn't so bad.. and what's so wrong about it.. then.. we start to question the fundamentals to begin with.. if i have tasted secular music and don't find myself negatively influenced by it.. how come my parents have prevented me from listening to it? perhaps there is something wrong with my parents.

perhaps.. its ok to listen to such music after all..

i think thats when imposing doctrinal beliefs on children could actually be the very thing that is the main cause for them falling away from the faith.

People might get disappointed with Katie Perry being 'wayward' with the way she has been 'growing' but.. lets not discount the other possibility.. that God would call Katie back to her roots.

hmmm why am i writing this post?
not sure myself.. i just feel intrigued that someone like Katie, who has grown up in a strong Christian family could take on such a different path from her parents.

the funny thing about life.

2011-06-24T02:20:00.000-07:00

the funny thing about life is that we survive.

we could be really stupid..
or we could have really low iq..
we could have low eq..
or even low eq and iq.
we could be downright ugly..
we could even be like bankrupt..
we could go to jail..
we could steal...
we could smuggle drugs...
we could go visit a brothel..
we could even smuggle kids over from poor villages..

yet.. somehow.. we are still alive..
and at times even thriving even though people are outright bad.

its at times like this where people wonder..
how can there be a God? who would allow all these men and women who are so incapable and so unfit to live live?

how can a good God tolerate all the rapists, and murderers and the thieves, the con men who have destroyed families.. the adulteress who has destroyed countless families.

How can they be allowed to live?
Yet people like them still survive. even thrive. inspite of all they have done..
unrepentant.. or perhaps... in a state of disbelief that anyone who is essentially the epitome of good could once again accept them as one of them.

If u believe in Karma, then people like them have no hope and deserve death. They probably would have to repay many lives for the evil they have done.

But God defies everyone of the ways of men and forgives inspite of the terror these men have wrought.

The God in the bible is such a God.

now fast forward that to my life as it is now..
i'm wondering again. God r u there?
'knock knock'.
i'm kinda stranded here on earth.

i am wondering what to do with this life of mine.
at first.. everything seemed so clear...
i'd graduate from archi sch.. and then get a job.. and walah.. find the woman of my dreams.. and then marry her.. and then.. i'd be happy.

but ever since God stepped into my life..
i just felt that such a plan was too dull for me..
get a job and work for someone all the days of my life??
kinda seems like a very mundane life for someone who follows the true and living God.

i've seen so many injustices about the architect's job.
its because of the workstyle of the architect that it is so difficult to live a family life and Godly life and still be able to perform at work...
The job itself sucks all the life out of you.. its almost as though it was the accepted norm that.. when u are an architect.. its as good as giving up everything else that really matters to you. because you'd have to devote ure life to architecture...
something my whole being dreads.

i can't imagine devoting my life to anyone other than God Himself.

yet...
when the tire hits the road... all that i've believed about God being the mighty conquerer. (if God is for you who can be against you)... verses like these are really put to the test...
and you would be put in a situation where.. u either deny your job and everyone else for God.. or you deny God for everything else that you think you would want..

its a titanic struggle..
the struggle to stand in the midst of tremenduous opposition..
because people would laugh at you... if Christians (i.e. me) are afraid of one thing... it would be to look silly....without a cause.

what if u have given up everything to chase after one dream only to find that it led to nothing?

tts the kind of decision u make when you decide to follow Jesus.

all you have to hang on to are the promises that are in God's word.
You either decide to let go of the rope you've been hanging onto and hope that God is really real enough to save you.. or you remain hanging on the rope till you freeze to death.or get stuck in the rat race all your life.

i don't really like to talk about my life on my blog. rather.. i'd prefer just writing down the thoughts that i struggle with occassionally and the thoughts that come to mind which i find intriguing.

but life at this point of time is probably at one of the lowest i've ever been. THings have happened that i simply don't know how to respond to..
when i look around.. i don't really know who i can turn to.

all i can do is pray. and to trust. even though i don't see things happening.
at times.. i wonder.. are my prayers being heard?
and when i pray.. i strain my ears to listen for the still small voice. and when i hear it.. i don't know if its my subconscious mind or is it really God Himself comforting me..and then i am left hanging. wondering.. whats gona happen next.
because.. no matter how crappy ure life might seem.. life still moves on without waiting.
that is the cruel reality about life. people just listen to you.. then say.. ohh.. i'm sorry.. because that's really about the best they could do to help.. who do you turn to?

the guy beside you? who can't even solve his own life problems? or the gal beside you? who is too worried about herself to care about u?
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
without Jesus, i would have lost myself in self pity.
i would have chosen to harbour bitterness rather than forgive.
forgiveness would have been the last thing on my mind..
yet.. it was the first reaction that i had.
it came almost naturally.. and i found it weird..

Lord.. you are in control.
Give me ure peace.
i really need it.

time to digest all that i've been going through.

2011-06-17T01:34:00.001-07:00

Today. i felt God tugging at my heart.
especially about my future.
Today i was at a conference. it was the open heaven's conference where James Goll was the guest speaker.
During this conference, James covered about the prophetic. About dreams and about dream interpretation. All this from a Christ centric view.

I was personally very excited about this because i for one used to have lots of dreams when i was a kid. some dreams scared the daylights out of me. i would go into a dream where everything was black and white.. and i was on a chair tied up.. and words would scream out "THE MURDERER" and the screen would just shake.. and this guy would start to raise the knife and want to fling it at my heart. and i'd wake up in cold sweat.
when i go back to sleep.. the same dream would occur...
i can vividly remember this dream as though it were yesterday.
i remembered how i would sneak to my mom's room to sleep because it was in their room that i felt secure and safe and could sleep without the nightmare.

It was during this conference that James mentioned that dreams are God's way of speaking to us. King Solomon in the bible was famously asked by God to ask of Him anything. And King Solomon asked for wisdom. King Solomon is now famously known as the richest king and the wisest man who ever lived apart from Jesus.
But what is most interesting is that God asked King Solomon to ask for anything in a dream. God didn't ask King Solomon by appearing to him as a great fireball or anything in real life.. but rather through a dream. Can you imagine.. how many times God probably has been trying to talk to you when you are asleep but you can't even remember?.

Dreams are a subject that is of great interest and intrigue because much of it can't be theorized without bringing in the element of supernatural activity. i shan't elaborate more because i am not very sure about them myself. What u shld know about dreams are that they have a source. There are natural dreams.. which well could be triggered by events that happen in the day.. and there are supernatural dream.. dreams that come from God and of course dreams that come from the demonic realm.
There are many things about dreams that people no longer take note of. It is almost like a lost art. People in the past would dream dreams and wonder what they meant. In our much educated society however, dreams are probably just a result of chemical imbalance that dreams are created.

really? How do chemicals have anything to do with intelligence. Dreams have to come from an intelligent source since they have colours, words and people. chemicals can't think.
it is really people who can't accept that they can't explain how dreams come about without bringing God into the picture who say .. oh dreams come about due to chemical imbalances in the mind. Although it is true that you can tell that a person is having a dream by looking that the chemical reactions taking place in the brain. They are an indicator of what is taking place rather than the source of the dream itself.

its as stupid as saying that the big bang theory is fact.

i shan't even bother explaining why the big bang theory is rubbish.. it would take an inquisitive primary school kid to keep asking why before he finds out something is amiss in the big bang theory and that is dosn't make sense.

as i have been learning more about God..
the more i realize how dependant i am on God.
especially when i do not know how life is gona turn out..

even more so.. i'm wondering.. where is God when u put Him first and still people who don't believe in God are progressing in life while i am left behind. still aparantly at ground zero.
i also wonder how to reconcile things .. because somethings just don't make human sense at all when it comes to the faith. its like.. you could be seeing God work so mightily one moment.. and the next... it seems like this very same God whom you saw doing a great miracle in your life suddenly pulls back His hand and dosn't answer the phone(prayer) when u really need Him.

If there is one thing i'm learning from life at this point in my life.. it is this..
God gives you enough assurance that He is real.. through encouragement from people you least expect at the least expected of times.. or through prayers that you simply thought wouldn't be answered.. and then... at the same time.. He dosn't answer all of your prayers so that.. you would not need Him anymore. Although this might sound like God is a God who just wants to mess with us..
i think God has been slowly breaking me.. and alot of the prior presumptions that i have had.And he stretched my faith. really.. especially with my current circumstance.
and i realize ever more clearly that.. what i really have left to hold onto is God's promises in His word.. when things go clearly out of my control.

When i look at my life.. now.. i really wonder.. what does God want to do with me? how can God use me in my current circumstance.. at this point of time.. i don't feel confident about myself. Particularly in the area of academic grades and in terms of career prospects. My confidence comes from God.. who is at times really unpredictable.. which is why.. alot of times when people ask me.. so how is your next phase of life going to be like.. i'll give them a quizzical look.. because honestly.. i have no idea at all....
all i know is that..i have a few thoughts ... which are. "i hope God uses me.. even though i do not see how i can be of use to Him at this point of time given my weak state.." i am jobless. i have to study in sch for 1 more semester while everyone else is graduating.. i have quite low confidence in my design ability.. even though people outside my architecture course tell me that i can come up with interesting architectural designs...

when i look at the deck of cards in my hand at this point of time.. i really ask God..
Where is my ace of spades? my biggest card is a jack. Its like... i know with a jack.. i'm better than average.. but not an ace.
but deep within me.. i know my caliber is bigger than a Jack.

If anyone told you that the Christian life is all about blessings.. you probably listened to a phony. I can tell u assuredly that when you accept Jesus Christ as your savior.. your problems would not disappear.
in fact.. your questions would be more...
especially if you are someone who loves God.. but then.. you see people who do not even believe in Christ do better than you in virtually every aspect you can think of. They are richer, more good looking, smarter, more well connected, more charismatic, better memory. They are well mannered and jovial and treat their wives really well.. they have super pretty spouses.. These kind of people really look as though they would do perfectly fine without God.

But one thing i know they won't have that i have is joy that is given by God himself.
It is the kind of joy that people are looking for in all the wrong places.. It could be in their career.. or spouse... or material possessions. They would never know the joy that is able to take them through the toughest seasons without breaking apart because that joy is given to those who love Him.

Its the kind of joy that makes you wonder why a man can live in a slum and still be happier with his life than a man who has virtually everything he needs in life to be successful in the eyes of men and still remain highly dissatisfied with it.

but still.. in spite of knowing all these.. there is still a part of me that wonders.. is God real?
After all God is invisible. Most of the time.
He is however real.
He is like the wind.
You can feel Him but you can't see Him.
You can see the effects of the wind on physical objects.. you can even harness the wind to generate power..

People in this age put too much faith on what they can see rather than what they don't. They scoff at people who put their trust in what is unseen and taunt them... "so where is your God now? I thought He is real?"

If you read the bible.. you would see how the people who crucified Him made fun of Him even after whipping Him till you couldn't even tell that He was really a man. They taunted him asking Him: " if you are really God.. save yourself and get yourself off this cross! That is 'if' you are the Son of God. "

Yet Jesus's response was " father they do not know what they are doing.." and was still pleading for us. It breaks my heart when i think about it now..

right now.. i'm wondering for myself.
how do i live?
how am i going to use this life of mine.

i used to be desensitized to the question ' what is the reason you were created?' because i thought it was a cliche. But i've never seriously given it much thought. perhaps only till now..
when i look at people who simply just get a good job and make the purpose of their lives to make life better for themselves.. i find it meaningless. and pointless..
I used to accept it as the norm because everyone else thinks that way..
yet.. the more i think about it.. and when i compare the city dwellers to people who stay in rural villages.. they didn't even have education and still they are surviving.
The question is really not about whether you have a job or even a house..
the question really is this.. when you have everything you could possibly want in life. 'whats next?'

however.. so few people even can reach the state where they can say.. i have everything i need.. but i still don't feel happy.. .. which is why their whole existence often seems meaningless. They go through life hoping and hoping for the job promotion or the job of their dreams... as though that were the pinnacle of life itself.

the greatest deception about life is perhaps that 'self preservation is the pinnacle of life'.
Don't get me wrong.. self preservation is something God put in us Himself.. which is why when we touch something hot, our hand immediately draws back. however.. when you make self preservation the ultimate goal in life.. you live in a state of self maintenance.

mmm i know i simply can't sufficiently explain myself..

because to do so i'd have to write down all the thoughts and my experiences and the prayers that God has answered in my life that let me know that He is truly real. and that He speaks through dreams.. and through prophecies..
and sometimes.. i can't even rememer why i know that i know that i know that God is real and that Jesus is the only true God.

But i can assure you. then when you put your trust in Jesus, the strength you receive will startle others.. but it would be a type of strength that is quiet.. and that people would not notice until they know you well enough. it is not a showy strength.. it is a resilient strength that only can come when the peace of God rests upon you. it is the type of strength that enables you to smile even when you are in the midst of a storm.

open eyes

2011-06-06T00:43:00.000-07:00

i'm currently in Cambodia, blogging even as my team is taking a break from 4 days of going to different schools to organize games, and to do colouring and to do delicing for the children.
my personal thoughts are that.. we are very fortunate.
I've been interacting with children in a few schools and i see one thing that Singaporean children lack. Toughness. These children don't cry like spoilt brats when someone pushes them down on the floor or steals their balloon from them. They just continue and look for another balloon. or they pick their selves up and then start running and playing again. They don't go complaining and running to their parents everytime they get bullied.. these are children who live in harsh conditions.. they live in worse conditions than Hougang. They know what it is like to have little..
i think every Singaporean should go for a mission trip.. or a humanitarian trip. They would see things they never would see in a safe place like Singapore.
But even though these children are tough, they are still children.. they are really adorable and have a smile that could melt the grown man's heart.
I wish people in Singapore would stop complaining so much about how tough their lives are. They do not know what a tough life means. They do not have houses which have completely no access to buses.. your only mode of transport is your own vehicle.. They don't even have proper road infrastructure.. which means that when it rains, your vehicle may get stuck in the road because of mud.. when it rains in Cambodia, there are floods on the roads.. and Singapore is complaining just because of one orchard road incident when in Cambodia.. it happens all the more frequently.. and the government can't do anything about it because either they can't be bothered or they don't have the means to.

Singapore's government is neither.
If more people see what i saw.. they probably wouldn't be complaining so much.. i feel so inclined to scold anyone who would start slamming Singapore, their own country. I love Singapore. And when i compare Singapore to so many cities in the world, i do not believe she is a third world country.

its ironic.. because Singapore is one of the richest in terms of wealth in S.E.A but in terms of happiness.. is so low..
it goes to show that wealth isn't everything.

PPle, u n i have much bigger things to do than to complain about..

academic warning

2011-05-30T03:13:00.000-07:00

I just received my results for my final thesis project. I got a B- . I got a d+ for my other module. My cap is 2.85. I got an academic warning for it. When I first received it.. I thought.. what if I can't graduate.. I was praying real hard.. n getting my friends to pray for me..
Then this thought came to me which I found ironically reassuring...
'Richard, this isn't going according to your plan... and well.. if it isn't ure plan then its part of God's plan.'
God u are in control of this situation. So Lord, pls let me graduate! :)
If that is your will

facebook.

2011-05-29T08:11:00.001-07:00

first thing i did when i touched down.
facebook.
n i realized.. tt i'm checking to see if i'm missed.

i'm back from Shanghai.
and i'm really happy.
made so many new friends. :)
and i really thank God tt this trip was so fun! because of the people who went. :)
yay!

Eminem: the voice of this generation?

2011-05-25T06:12:00.000-07:00

I think every generation has a cry that is represented in a rock band. In the 60s it was the beatles. the hippies.
this generation is one whose eyes are open to violence.. well not really .. if ure talking about SIngapore. but yeah pretty much everywhere else arnd te world.. u see violence.don't know if the night could be your last one.
somehow.. when i listen to Eminem sing.. yeah even all the f***s and all the other words that he uses.. they represent a generation of people.. who had enough of holy moley people.. because.. well.. they see a reality so harsh.. that the church dosn't..
as Bill Johnson said in one of his sermons.. sometimes the church has to answer the cry when artists are singing about betrayal and how they deal with it.. how they deal with backstabbing and how like in Lady Gaga's single Judas.. how they'd rather worship Judas.. than Jesus. The church rather than responding to these msges tt the people are listening to.. are stuck in the cathedrals, ignorant of whats going outside .. so much so that they are so ill equipped to identify the times.. and where our generation is headed..

out of a person's heart... his mouth speaks. and.. sometimes.. rather than see them as the problem or as people who need to be crying out for mercy for all their sins.. hence we need to force down the damnation gospel to them... we need to just stretch out our arms.. and say.. hey.. i know a place where u'd feel right at home.. because there are people there who have been more badly banged up than you and they have a place they can call home.. where they are not condemned or judged.. but they are loved.

unfortunately.. how many people can call the church that place ??

The effect of science.

2011-05-25T05:14:00.000-07:00

my parents just were complaining about their school and lamenting about the school system.. about how it is so subservient to the whims and fancy of parents that it no longer functions like a school but like well.. i don't know its a farm house now that dosn't know what it is..
there used to be a time where in pr schools, principals were given power to run their school without worrying that they might receive a complaint from their kids who complain to their parents whenever things go wrong.
Now teachers can't cane their kids. Even if there is public caning.. the school has to first ask the parents for permission to cane..
and ... it has become ridiculous because now the school is run by kids rather than adults. Principals are so afraid of parents complaints.. that they no longer have the balls to do anything...
and.. i think the catch phrase.. tt i'm quite sick of hearing.. is.. you are not supposed to do this.. not supposed to do that... other wise the parents will this.. otherwise the parents will that.... and this is what democracy does...
the principals can't even lead a school without worrying about what idiotic parents.. who raise up scums as children.. and can't even cane those bloody brats.

imagine.. those little scum can do virtually anything they want to. because they have their parents to defend them even if they are in the wrong. its no wonder our asian values are eroding.. we used to cane children when they misbehave simply because it is wrong..
now .. now that we are apparantly more civilized.. or rather now that we have deceived ourselves into thinking that we are more civilized and more dependant on new ways of dealing with kids through psychological coaxing.. or whatever stupid jargon they can throw your way just to make them sound like they know what they are talking about when they aren't even qualified to teach a class of monkeys who scream and yell and don't listen in class and call the teacher monster to their face..
its no wonder our students are becoming a bunch of monsters.
fearless for authority.

i am worried for Singapore.. because we no longer have any ministers who have the balls to scold Singapore. to give her a piece of his mind when they are clearly wrong. when she is being a stupid kid.. u see.. if the co-driver thinks he has the right to slap the driver when he is sleeping.. then the driver ought to have the right to slap the bloody co-driver when he gives the wrong directions and ask the bloody co-driver to wake up first before giving the wrong direction. after all.. the driver is the one who has to pay for the fuel. not the freaking co-driver.

the effect of too much science is this.. it has watered down and eroded all moral values.. and people no longer put integrity first.. or being honest.. or being truthful..
they would just rather market themselves... even though they have nothing much to market... but they have to anyway otherwise they would lose out to their competition..
that's what's happening in school..
and although its so apparant to teachers... no one seems to be making any noise!
THIS my friends, My Singaporean friends is what we ought to be debating about!!! NOT ABOUT MINISTERS PAY!!
and i totally believe that if the ministers take a pay cut. civil servants should have a pay cut too. after all.. the leaders lead by example.. the rest should follow.
the objection to cutting the pay of the civil servants shows just one thing.. and proves one point very clearly.. those civil servants only talk but can't do nuts!!! READ MY POST AGAIN CAN"T DO NUTS! ALL U CAN DO IS BLOODY COMPLAIN ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT INSTEAD OF TAKING YOUR FUTURE IN YOUR OWN HANDS AND DOING SOMETHING USEFUL WITH IT !!!!! ITs URE LIFE!! IS THE GOVERNMENT BLOODY RESPONSIBLE FOR RAISING YOU UP!!??!??! OBVIOUSLY NOT!! BUT STILL THEY DO IT ANYWAY!! BECAUSE THEY ARE THE BEST GOVERNMENT IN THE WORLD!!! AND STILL WE WANT THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT>>PLEASE GO TO A MORE BACKWARD COUNTRY AND LIVE THERE FOR A MONTH BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN SOMORE YOU BLOODY INGRATES!

God's providence.

2011-05-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

there is just something about worrying that i realize.
the more you worry.. well the more stressed you become.
there probably isn't a relationship where.. the more you worry, the better your grades would be.. or the more you worry... the more deals you would clinch.

its really easy to lose sight of what God has called us to and chase something else. but walk with God long enough.. and those things don't seem worth chasing after.
i probably am not being coherent right now. but i think yah.. u'll probably understand better when u've chased after God yourself.

even relationships.. like ya.. it would be nice to have someone beside you to share your woes and your weals.. but then.. even if there wasn't someone.. :) tts still cool because i've still got something much better than that to sustain me in my weakest of moments.

i wanted to write about God's providence. i'm going to cambodia for a mission trip in two weeks with campus crusade. and in crusade. the thing is tt u have to raise up ure own funds. for my trip i was supposed to raise 950 bucks. and normally in crusade, u can't pay your own mission trip because the idea is that we want to see God's provision for providing the funds. So... yah.. this was my first time raising money. and i asked my Vicar first for permission upon advice from one of the aunties in church. I was rather worried back then because.. some of my team mates had already raised up the money needed. and i was feeling rather sianz cuz i had zero bucks. i started giving out the letters 3 weeks ago. and by the 2nd week, i had 300 bucks from an uncle in church whom i didn't know very well. then.. like.. i think God really led me.. because.. i had a friends runjing who advised me on who i could ask for support.
and.. just last week... all the support came back to me in full force.. i managed to raise 500 more than i needed. God really is a God who provides abundantly.. and the thing was this.. i only gave out 10 out of the 20 support raising letters tt i had prepared.

i really felt God speaking to me in all this .. because.. through out the process of raising the support that i needed, i just really saw God giving me advice through people and friends. and their wise council was really what led to a very smooth and easy support raising in my opinion.. when i had no money.. rather than worry, i decided to just pray more. and sort of remind God that He is my provider.. not me. n well... when u hold God to task because of who He has promised Himself to be.. :) how can He not provide more abundantly than you expect??

:) God's just amazing :)

i hope to be able to write about amazing stories when i come back from Cambodia.. about how wonderful God has been in Cambodia!! and about the amazing miracles tt i would be able to see there! :) :)

can't wait!!!

power of the voice

2011-05-23T18:56:00.000-07:00

i think someone should do a thesis on the power of ones voice.
certain people have different ways of speaking to other people.. some have the ability to speak.. and people would immediately feel soothed... others just talk normally and they get people agitated.. with the power of their voice...

sometimes.. its not so much the words as much as the tone of the voice that communicates messages..
i was thinking about the power of the voice cuz i was hearing different artists singing on youtube.
i was watching Rihanna singing Newyork and.. this thought suddenly came to mind.. in terms of her figure.. or her looks.. yeah she's pretty and she's hot and all that.. but there are so many other ladies who are so much hotter than her.. why is it that she is so popular?
i think.. firstly the lights and the glitz and the fame and the media attention she gets makes her much bigger than life.. .. but i feel tt there is just something tt happens when she opens her mouth and sings. the atmosphere around her changes.. and suddenly.. she matches up to all the media hype about her.. because of her voice.

i was doing an experiment .. a mini one on my dogs.. i was just talking to them and trying to get them near me.. when i talked to them softly and they always come to me.. and try to lick my nose.. when i bring my face near to them. but when they are barking.. really loudly.. when i yell.. then they would like cower when i come closer over to them..

so much can b communicated through the tone of your voice. actors probably would know best how to manipulate people with the tone of their voice to make u believe that they love their on -screen mate when actually in reality.. they probably think their on-screen mate is 'loser' or something. they just have to play their role even though their hearts feel the complete opposite of wanting to do so.. it might even become revolting to themselves.. but still they have to make the crowd believe that they love their co-star. this is something i find revolting about acting.

anyways.. the point i wanted to raise is that people can manipulate other people into believing them just merely through the power of their voice. that is especially seen in salesmen. the best sales men always make people believe that they are absolutely confident of what they are selling.. whether they really believe tt what they are selling is good dosnt' matter.. as long as they are confident looking.. and sound confident.. the battle is won..

i find the human voice intriguing.. because.. of what the bible says... because the world was created by the sound of God's voice. God said 'let there be light'. and there was light. the world was literally brought to life because God spoke.
and God made men in His image. And i believe that men also possess this ability to bring things to life just by speaking.
Contracts made between businessmen are created just because two men come together and say.. lets will have a successful venture.. even though they havn't even started a venture yet.. there is something that is released when one man declares to do something. people start to believe tt it can be done.
I just get reminded of the GE once again.. i think the reason why people are drawn to Nicole Seah is because of her voice. She has a voice that is able to capture people's attention.. and because her voice is always very controlled and her gaze is always very steady, people can be won over by her sincerity to deliever what she promised. The reason why people voted for her, even though she has little track record whatsoever of leading a country is because of the power of her voice. not so much what she can do.
politicians... people with charisma.. like President Obama.. they have a very comforting voice.. that makes them magnetic..
people voted a man because of the life he brought with his words.
they believed because he spoke it to existence.

the bible says that the tongue has the power of life and death. it is likened to a small rudder that steers a massive ship.
leaders have the ability to persuade and to move people to work alongside with them. and all this.. by the power of their voice.

The reason why men were brought to the moon was not so much because of science, but because the president of the united states gave the command to be the first country in the world to send up their men into the moon. Scientists didn't decide on their own that they wanted to build a spaceship. A president commanded that they did so.
It wasn't commoners who decided to build the great wall of China.. it was a decree of a King that demanded the great wall of China be built even at the expense of all the deaths.
it wasn't the whim of the egyptian slaves tt the pyramid of Giza was built.. but it came through the order from the tongue of the King..
the greatest feats of men started from the voice of one man. and because of that one voice.. people started doing wonderful things.

although sound is the weakest form of energy. It is always the initiator for mighty feats to be performed.. perhaps.. thats why Christians ought to pray. because from their tongues, they declare God's Kingdom to exist on earth as it is in heaven. And the are confident not because of the power of their prayer or the length of their prayer.. but because they are confident of the power of their God and His power to overcome any obstacle.

objective criticism and reactionary criticism.

2011-05-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

There is one kind of criticism I encourage and another kind of criticism that I detest.
When I read TOC, I feel like...whose really running the show?? An objective reporter of truth for the rights of the people?? Or a simpleton who only can react to any significant or insignificant remark made by both significant and insignificant people.
Their attack is not just limited to the government.. but against fellow Singaporeans who think differently from them. As long as you are pro PAP to them, there has to be something wrong with that person.. and his thinking has to be changed.. please.. I don't need someone.. whom I've never seen or talked to in my life to give me advice on how I should think!
The reason why I hate reactionary criticism is because it almost entirely lacks any constructive feedback that can work in reality.. just paper talk.
Objective criticism comes from impartial interpretation of facts from both supporting and opposing schools of thought.. wheras in TOC, only one school of thought is present.. a biased and emotionally charged one that entirely neglects the good of society but aims at self benefit of the individual. Just look at the issues brought up. Its about 'my pay,the amount of taxes I have to pay, the extra few cents I have to pay because of increase in price commodities.the amount I have to pay to go through ERP'.. they don't even bother talking about solving traffic congestion problems in Singapore.. or how to curb inflation.. or how to come up with ways to reduce traffic without paying erp.. they done talk about how to increase the value of the individual Singaporean to make it a more effective workforce on the whole to compete with rising powers of China and India who are charging forward in the economy even as we squabble amongst ourselves like wives heckling for lower prices at the fish market with the fish monger.

The workers party is not even working full time for the people.. I'm not in a governmental position but at least I try to understand what their jobscope entails and the difficulty of their jobbefore I dare say anything bad about them..
Id like to reiterate my point about democracy. The reason why people love it is because small fries, who have no idea how to rule a country can gather together and create a big voice to demand for what they want. But too often none of these small fries themselves are willing to pay the price to take on the jobs of the very people they criticise! Pls.. show some common sense... and don't be ruled by fear.. fear that your friend would be offended by you just because you secretly agree that only PAP has the calibre to find and recuit and keep people who are talented smart and not mere followers. Low Thia Khiang? Chen Shao Mao? They are too busy with their own businesses to care about taking care of their own people full time..

the life we are called to live

2011-05-18T08:48:00.000-07:00

i was roller blading again. for 3 days in a row. somehow.. i've a restlessness tt i can't contain.
when there is nothing to do ... when there are no assignments.. and lots of supposed free time.. the idle mind is perhaps the most dangerous. its when thoughts that u don't usually entertain suddenly take hold of you.
its neither a good thing nor a bad thing. the tendency is to over think things some times.
but then again.. the question comes.. where is the line to draw when you are over thinking?
we are down by 3 more ministers. the last i heard from my dad. Wong Kan Seng is no longer around. I"m sure anti PAP supporters would be cheering from the side lines. the old guard are finally stepping down. and i'd say good thing for them. why serve a country that thinks you are nothing but a liability? why serve people who think that all you do is suck their money?

i would wana applaud PM Lee for deciding to honor his dad and SM Goh as advisors on his own accord. i'm sure people would still read that move as a political power play. but think about it.. they are merely advisors.. no ministerial powers. if u think u can give better advice than these two men.. then please shut my trap. i detest people who complain and read so deeply into these few men.. who have been carrying the burden of SIngapore on their shoulders silently all these years.. i don't know how they do it.. but i think they must have been really sad..
because they were the same men who saw Singapore grow up...
its like.. they rose a child up with their whole lives.. only to have their child throw them out of the house. many must be gloating. and i sure hope some one smacks their eyes open to their own stupidity.

for those who voted against PAP just because MM Lee said, 'you will repent for the next 5 years', i have these few words for you. ' you don't deserve to vote if that is your only reason to vote for the opposition.' thats the stupidest most low iq way i can think of for voting the opposition. totally low class plebian mentality.'

well.. i think the reason why the ministers from the old guard have stepped down almost all at once is this. SIngapore has voted. She has decided that they have no more use for the old ways of thinking. they think that only change will bring them forward.. without valueing the work of the older generation. and i truly believe that our generation would repent for treating our senior ministers with such disrespect and dishonor. We have shown so little respect in this elections.
the opposition can outrightly challenge SM Lee to his face. when politicians from America don't dare to defame him. This is the guy who has filed lawsuits against big american newspaper companies and won. because they had a right to his opinion. and here our own men just treat him as though he were senile.. He is like going to die and he is still more highly respected than chiam see tong or low thia khiang. the world barely notices those two men.
i think hurt. it what made these great men step down and finally say enough is enough.. i think these men can take it if people from other countries criticise them. but to be criticised in your own country.. i think that is betrayal. its not easy for any leader to take. to be looked down upon in your own country. to be scorned upon as old and outdated..
i've seen old architects who have come up with designs that young architects can't even match in terms of futuristic appeal. its usually the young architects who use the designs of the older generation of architecture as a starting point of creating new architecture...
i've realized that sometimes.. the oldest designs are the simplest and the best designs. because they arose from need.. rather than superfluousness. now architecture is all about the wow factor..
thats bull shit. it has to be more than that.
and when you can't even address the basic issues about maintaining the country.. don't even bother trying to improve it..

i think too often... when we are too accustomed to a system that works.. we take it for granted and start to just point to the flaws.. we forget that these systems are working fine and also factor in human imperfection.
societies most of the time would work perfectly.. in fact.. no matter what the kind of governance.. be it communist.. or democratic.. or republic or whatever... the system would work perfectly. but only if everyone in that country thought like a communist or a democrat or a republican.

the problem with all societies.. is that people scream for change.. assuming that everyone is like them a democrat(in the case of Singapore) . they assume that all Singaporeans must think like the opposition party. because majority thinks that way.
what a deceived bunch of naive fools they are.
its foolishness for any politician to assume that people would all think the same.
that is the problem with using a system of governance and imposing laws to enforce such a system to work..
the problem with most societies is that too often when people have different mindsets, the default mode of the DNA in humans is to divide. and hence, you have many parties.
even within the opposition parties.. they are not united against the government. its like a rag tag group of bandits rather than an organized group of people.
and even now.. when you look at the opposition parties.. they are part time ministers.. with their own jobs.. pursuing their own studying opportunities.

so the people of Singapore have settled for a group of newly elected 'part -time' members of parliament over the PAP elected members.
how this will work out i dont' know. its too early to say. but just hearing the word 'part-time members of parliament' and you know something is wrong with the worker's party. now tt the elections r over r they really gona commit to the promises they so boldly proclaimed?

so what if u have won a victory now? can you sustain it?
the PAP always has thought about sustainence and long term goals.. because that's what they have been planning for.. i've heard a story about how Lee Kuan Yew visited Cambodia after the world war two and was so impacted by what he saw there that he decided to make Singapore a garden city like Cambodia. but.. over the years.. Cambodia became a communist country.. and they chose to regress rather than progress. the zero years.
I think it was always because SIngapore's leaders had looked at how other countries had risen and fallen that they have managed to adapt and change itself so that it always could survive. but people scorn such a thinking .. choosing for self preservation rather than making tough decisions to survive.
either way.. i'm gona stick with Singapore no matter who is in charge.. because i'm not gona be like those who would leave Singapore when she is suffering. i've realized that such a loser mentality only will raise up weaklings who would flee at the first sign of trouble. if everyone thought like that.. it would be no wonder that SIngapore would self destruct. u don't even need Malaysia to be really be an education hub for that to happen.

2011-05-16T00:26:00.001-07:00

hmmm.. i'm wondering.. God what are u doing ??
the coincidences are too crazy to ignore.

2011-05-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

its crazy...
how u can know someone for a day.. and feel as though u've known tt person for a long while.

on a lighter note

2011-05-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

well my previous post was harsh.
but i think i'll write about something else.
the more i think about how ridiculous politics is the more i can't be bothered about it. Although i know that is merely an escapist mentality. but i'll probably write about it again when the time is right.

the more i look at politics. the relationship between the government and her people, the more i see a resemblance between the relationship that God has with His own people. The number of people who love God are a minority. A majority of them think God isn't doing his job well enough. why? because there is rape, there is murder, there is death, there are Tsunamis, there are earthquakes...
and God gets the rap. only when things don't go well.
The root of all resentment is ingratitude.
Which is why we always have to be respectful of where we came from no matter what our leaders have done. no matter what.. people may say about how sucky PAP is today. ingratitude will only lead to our downfall.
The reason why so many Christians backslide also is due to ingratitude. They forget all the God has done for them in their lives and they say stuff.. like.. i've done so much for God.. i shld have my own space..

while i have no right to judge these Chritians.. i'll just give my frank opinion about such Christians. Fools. You live your lives as though God didn't exist and you call yourself a Christian??

i feel exasperated just thinking about such people.. but then... i am also one of those who used to be ungrateful. There are just some things that can only be done by God. that is to change a human from the inside out. so that his own mindset becomes radically changed.. no policy is going to do that.. no government is going to enforce that through the law.
Only Jesus has the answers to live a life that is completely changed. One that is upright, and just.
The Singapore that MM Lee is dreaming of can only come when Jesus is the head of Singapore. its not PAP or the Opposition. it is Jesus. because He is alive. He is real.

i'll b going on a cambodian mission trip with campus crusade. and i'm really excited to see what God would do through us. I think sometimes, being a missionary makes the most sense when i think about what i want to do with the rest of my life..

as i walked through roxy shopping centre at katong today.. i peeped into all the hairdressing salons.. and all the furniture shops.. some with customers.. others empty.. the store owners looking bored.. and listless...
i realized one thing.. they are doing all their jobs just to survive.. their life is nothing more than that. its just about surviving .. nothing more.. those who survive better get nicer houses and cars.. but mostly.. their lives revolve around themselves , their wives and their family.. they have no concept of serving other people.. except so that they can earn money.

its meaningless.
but people don't have a better alternative.
Jesus does. He designed us all for specific reasons. But we have to ask Him directly if we want to know what those reasons are. then we would know the reason for our existence. And to be able to ask Jesus, we have to first accept Him into our lives as our Lord and our God.

2011-05-14T05:33:00.000-07:00

its been a while since the elections are over. and to a certain extent i'm glad its over.
to another extent.. i wonder.. whats gona happen for Singapore.
MM Lee and SM Goh have just decided to step down as MM and SM respectively.
there are Singaporeans in two camps. One camp is delighted that those two ministers are finally out. although they arent happy that they are still members of parliament. the other camp is worried for Singapore. i belong to the latter camp.
and the responses i see make me worried.
esp from TOC.

http://www.facebook.com/theonlinecitizen/posts/10150246907781383
Sultan Mgr Wat: sort of game is PAP playing. Dey should hv step down before long before or at least before election
Anne KoArt: This is precisely why we need the opposition! How many years have we had these two created positions shoved down our throats? 2 more GRCs and we might be able to rid ourselves of these two created positions which cost us taxpayers money.
Elfie Eleza: Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, with the departure of the grumpy old man and the other who always gives wrong analogy, the nation have save alot of money.! Next PM must look into people who are not really working the ever complacent Mr WKS!
Ken Ong: Both are asked to go as they have screwed up the last election.
Tay Guan Chuan: Decades overdue.
Tobi Yee: Must be brewing some evil plans. Trying to 'rescue' LHL's image after they noe we younger generation will call the shots 5 years later or planning for Lee Hongyi to come in.
Naeem Abdul: The puppeteers may have stepped down but the string stills remain.

in summary. opposition supporters in general are glad these two men are gone. but they aren't happy that they aren't completely gone cuz they still have a presence in Singapore.

i think.. the people who support the opposition love to use the argument of.. taxpayers money. they love to use the argument that because the people are paying for the government's money, thus they deserve to demand that the government be a government who listens to the people's voice.

i think to a certain extent the people who support the PAP would tend to belong to a group of people who are in the business line. Because the PAP encourages people to be entreprenuers. i would be quite safe to assume that the people who are making the most noise against the PAP are the middle to low income group of people. and the young population who have difficulty finding houses.
People would also argue against the PAP's policies saying that they favor the rich more. but i think that is only logical.

after all the people paying the most taxes are not the poor-middle class income group. it would be the smaller group of super rich singaporeans who pay a large proportion of taxes in SIngapore. now.. if we were to give equal say to each Singaporean based on the income that the Singaporean has, then, the rich ought to have the most say. they after all are the pillars that Singapore's taxes come from.
yet.. in this election, alot of opposition are shouting against the govt.. saying that they are the ones paying for the government's salary as though they are the big shareholders of the company when they are mere small fries.
that is the benefit of democracy.
because small fries get to shout out loud as though they were very big. and then.. get other small fries to join them.
but what are the contributions of these small fries to Singapore's economy? as far as i am concerned.. probably most are just people who work for other people rather than people who start their own businesses as entrepreneurs. The reason why entrepreneuers are so important to Singapore is that they generate real revenue. They are creating jobs on their own.. they are not mere followers of trends but trend setters..
these are the people who ought to have the biggest say in politics. not the voices of small fries who can't contribute anything but complaints to Singapore.
i am personally sick of people who criticise all day long. complaining and lamenting when they aren't worth nuts.

i hear about them in school from my parents who are teachers.
they face parents who complain all day long as though they bloody big shot.. telling the teachers how they ought to teach their children. but usually.. it is the children of those complaining parents who cannot make it. comon.. pls do your job of raising up your kids instead of telling the teachers how to do their job when you can't even teach your own kids to behave! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO LECTURE TEACHERS WHEN YOU CHILD IS CRAP BECAUSE HE IS THE RESULT OF YOUR UPBRINGING!
i've heard from my parents how the principals have now become people without (in my own word)'balls' of their own. They have become people who don't know how to run their school because they are so afraid of parents. and we see how the school system no longer backs their principals up or their teachers.. so now children are running the school as though they were the boss because they know they can have their way as long as they have their parents to complain to. In a sense.. the children have become the 'alternative voice' of the school.. so now.. the school no longer has the say of how they want to punish their school children.
its no wonder you have weaklings. children who are spoilt. fat.. obese. because their parents are like that. the children are a reflection of the parents upbringing.
if you have a kid who is noisy and disrespectful and shouts vulgarities in class, whose fault is that? obviously the stupid parent's fault!

yet... our generation tolerates ridiculous people like those parents. because .. they are more educated. because they have more money. because they know people..
and Singapore is becoming like that.

the general elections is proof of that.
the comments seen on facebook is proof of that..
people no longer listen to sound logic or argument.
they just listen to the sound of their own voice.
they love it when... people call them... a weapon.
they love it when people flatter them abit and say.. they have a choice.. that their vote matters.. they just have to rub the egos of all these people and they would support you..
you just have to visit all their funerals and then you would earn their support.. that is what the people have voted for.

i can't help it but feel just irritated. on one hand.. i know theres not much about what i can do about people's opinions. when i read some of their comments.. they sound like uneducated people who can't think objectively but simply think for their own self preservation.

i'm unapologetically harsh here because if i reduced the severity of my words.. it would just lose the point i'm trying to make.

i see a weak Singapore who can't take a simple harsh comment from MM Lee.. its like a bunch of crybabies who keep running to their safe corner to cry-foul play just because the MM tells me to repent, i won't vote for him!! 'boohoo'. they are so easily stirred up and riled up.. they react so easily.comon.. grow up babies.
will singapore cui.. yah.. i think they will.. based on the way many Singaporeans make a vote just because of one comment that makes them unhappy.

i have even less respect for the opposition supporters seeing how lowly they value MM Lee and SM Goh's departure. rather than say thanks.. they make snide remarks. sorry... approval ratings from me for the opposition supporters are at an all time low.

i think the tide has dramatically turned in the coming elections. in the past, people used to be afraid that they would be jailed if they voted against PAP. today, people are afraid if they vote PAP and are vocal about it rather than the opposition. because now.. people are voting according to what the 'majority' says.
but think about it... the majority is always led by the minority.
majority rules my ass. democracy my ass.

please.. just give TPL a break.

2011-05-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

can't u all just leave Tin Pei Lin alone. you jealous bunch of people. just because you all don't have a 15k salary.. then make so much noise...
u go find your own way to earn 15 k la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn irritating bunch of complain king and queen.. nothing better to do than to nose into people's lives. not like you damn good yourself!
go look into the damn mirror and stop comparing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GIVE ME A BREAK!

U WANT YOUR 15k THEN U GO TO PAP! TELL THEM YOU ARE BETTER THAN TIN PEI LIN AND SAY YOU WANT HER JOB AND HER MONEY !!!! OTHERWISE SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT HER AND HER KATE SPADE!! I"M SICK OF HEARING all the damn lame jokes that aren't even funny.

2011-05-08T03:08:00.000-07:00

i don't have any title for this post.
i'm feeling quite bummed out over this elections.
its been more of an emotional roller coaster this time of elections.
not because of who i'm voting for. but because of the intensity that i am discussing for the first time, issues about voting for the government.
and personally.. i thought it was like terrible, cuz my supposed 'adversaries' were my very own friends.
and i have to admit that to a large extent, though i'd hate to admit it, i have not read enough about the opposition and their stands. nor have i read enough about politics about how the PAP is arrogant etc. so sometimes i find myself shooting thoughts off my head without firstly knowing what the opposition actually thinks.
and for most of the rebuttals i painfully received from my friends, i realized that it is unwise to make statements that are not well informed or well researched. makes me think thrice before i say or write anything.
all in all. :) i'm glad about one thing. and that is my friends can be bothered to correct me and speak up against me when they think i'm saying something that is untrue. they say, wounds from a friend can be trusted.
so i'd just like to take this time to just say to all the friends on facebook whom i've been heatedly debating with, thanks for the great discussions! Lets take all the discussions in the spirit of exchanging thoughts and opinions and learning to be understanding about where each of us is coming from.
i've learnt one thing.. through all this discussions..and that is that we are at the end of the day wanting a better tomorrow. we see the same video and see two diametrically opposed view points. for one part.. i have to admit that i've been to a certain extent intellectually understanding this whole elections... to me its very logical. the party that has the best caliber to lead the country gets my vote.
and to be honest. i can say that because my family isn't sufferring or going through difficulties paying for house loans..
and i think this really hampered my ability to empathise with people who really were hurt because of all the financial burdens they had to bear to pay for their HDB flats. so i have to admit that a large portion of my judgements were at times made in the ivory tower.
but then yup i still strongly believe that i too have valid points of my own about why we should still continue to support our government.
overall. although we might have lost a good foreign minister and a potential leader in Ye Kung, but i believe they will be talent spotted and poached by some private company. good men are hard to come by. but i also wana wish the worker's party the best in leading Aljunied! yup! i do not say this in jest because they won it fair and square. they did a better job at campaigning than the PAP this time round. they knew what the people responded to and they capitalized on it. And they certainly got PAP thinking and on their toes again.
I know God has a plan in all of this. what ever He has allowed to happen and whatever He hasn't allowed.. there is a reason.
yup
just feel that i had to just write all these down because i've been feeling quite bad because sometimes.. i just get so frustrated.. like why can't my friends see things the way i do.. and as a result.. i've used name calling to just label them. so i thought i just want to say sorry to you guys especially for the unwarrented namecalling :) :)
Onward Singapore aye? :)

you pay peanuts to the govt, u get monkeys.

2011-05-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my dad this morning and he was talking about the malaysian govt cuz he is a Pr in sg but was born in malaysia. And he didn't see why people made such a big fuss over the ministers pay. Personally... I never understood how the opposition is allowed to make such a big fuss over the ministers pay. If the govt gets peanuts for their pay, then.. they eventually will be a govt who would easily be bribed.

as i was deliberating about the pay of the ministers then i thought up a simple conspiracy theory.
Why would the opposition so badly want a seat in parliament. or rather.. why would the opposition want to take over the government so badly. i realized that although the opposition has complained so much about the high pay of the ministers.. i don't see anyone of them demanding that their ministers pay be reduced. rather.. they would rather ask the people to vote them into parliament. and this is a simple reason i can think of. if ure voted in, then ure entitled the rights to get paid a minister's pay as well. correct me if i'm wrong.
I think Singapore's government has set up a system that pays its ministers very well because it recognizes the need for talented leaders and would honor them with very good pay. because it is a thankless job. only in 5 years.. would people start coming to label you. in between, they don't really give a damn about what the government does.. they'd rather just be left alone to do their own business. now.. the problem with people who want this kind of pay is this.. they can't anyhow go into PAP because PAP screens out out of a 1000 applicants a team of men and women who are credible. its kinda like a spartan elimination process.. if you don't fit the bill to lead Singapore.
and because of this.. then people who suddenly see a system setup like an iron rice bowl seek to break into such a system and get paid. however, they can't do it because they would first have to go through PAP scrutiny. the only way they can 'break into' the system so to speak is to be elected in by the people.

people don't really consider this but i highly question people likethe oppositions lawyer.. forgot what his name is.. how he has spent his life 30 years away from Singapore and waltzes into Singapore when the elections are around.. use his status as a lawyer as proof of his credibility.. say that he loves Singapore.. uses the work and share letter to prove that he is Singapore.. as though those alone are credentials that we ought to buy to vote him to lead Singapore. to that i say.. go and fly kite. i'd vote Chiam See Tong any day even though he may not have the credentials and i'd rather vote Low Thia Kiam. For a lawyer who thinks he is a big shot and come in when the country is doing well and you expect the citizens of Singapore to entrust their care into the hands of a man who only thinks about his own wellbeing by being away for 30 years. yet.. the opposition is blinded by his external qualifications rather than to question the character or the intention. and Low Thia Kiang is so easily convinced by this man's intentions. 30 years is a long time to be away from Singapore.. i've spent 26 years of my life in SIngapore. and this unknown comes in, says he is a lawyer, he is a Singaporean because he loves SIngapore. and so i should vote for him. like real i will.

i believe he has come back to Singapore because the system now favors people in leadership positions in the government.
Why else would anyone come back to Singapore after being overseas for so long. perhaps his business in China is going bust too. who knows.. maybe conditions aren't that favorable anymore for him. so he's come back.

who knows.
but hey.. i wouldn't mind a 15k per month job. so why not manipulate those SIngaporeans and make them vote me in. so that i can have a better life? they aren't that smart either.. i just have to manipulate their emotions.. and convince them that the government they have isn't good enough for them.. cuz.. i know.. that as a lawyer... if u repeat the same message enough to people with enough conviction, they will believe u even though what you say are lies. because people at the end of the day believe what they want to believe rather than analyze the facts for themselves. so why not? no one but the PAP would see through the bland arguments of the opposition. and besides... the online sentiment against the PAP is already there.. so i stand a good chance of adjusting the system in my favor so i stand to benefit.so since the opposition supporters are already blinded by their resentment against the govt.. just make use of that to my favor.
a 15 k investment is a small price to pay for a term as a minister. u get fame, and fortune.. for being a civil servant. which place in the world does that??

does the opposition really have the interests of the Singaporeans? i don't think so. i've listened to alot of good speakers even before this elections who are far better than the opposition. so i'm not swayed by the charisma of a speaker. rather i'd focus on the words that come out. and if u compare just words. even for a low level citizen like me who is merely 26 years old, i can easily point out logical flaws in almost all of the opposition speeches that show they havn't thought through their policies well enough. or resolved any.
the crux of the matter is that.. it is true that the opposition needs to be given a chance to prove their worth. but .. if the opposition were really that talented, they would have been head hunted by the PAP already. but people like Tan Jee Say.. they were tried and rejected. because Tan Jee Say wanted to secure his interests. tts why he goes into the private sector to earn more money. but the tables have turned now tt the government announces how well their ministers are paid.
so.. he's back for his money.

one thing the opposition supporters neglect is that.. once they have gotten their opposition party into power.. the one who benefits the most is the opposition member who gets elected into parliament. not the people. the one who gets the pay is the elected member. not the people. and none of the opposition members are at the caliber where they can even counter argue against MM Lee or PM Lee.

let me ask you.
do you want monkeys to lead you? or do you want someone who knows what the hell they are talking about to lead you. if the former appeals more to you.. then perhaps the malaysian government would be a good place to move to. they fully support the bumiputra and are afraid that invaders like the foreigners would take over the government because they are better than them. but without the foreigners, there is really nothing much they can do to progress the country except say... i will fight for your rights(but only if you are a bumiputra). same argument( i will fight for your rights ( only if you support the opposition party). different context.

emotions emotions emotions.

2011-05-06T05:12:00.000-07:00

i'm kina wary about what to post right now on the elections.
certainly have made some angry.
but i'll still stand by what i have written.
because those are my honest opinions.
honestly. i really want to say stuff tt simply shldn't be said because they just are low blows.
but that dosn't help anybody.

confused.

2011-05-04T05:22:00.000-07:00

i don't know whether to believe that astrology is true, but during this elections.. i realize how i swing from side to side supporting the PAP so strongly one moment, and then empathising with the opposition on another day. is this the dual nature of geminis?
anyways... i found myself asking myself a lot of questions lately.. about this PAP/opposition debate.
i feel at one point disappointed with myself because i was rather blind to what the opposition had to say. i would use this analogy and this is in no way to demean the opposition but just an incident that made me realize something. i was in my living room at home and i was having dinner with my family and my 4 dogs were barking and barking cuz we were eating outside in front of them. initially, when we first got the dogs, i would really empathise with them when they begged me for food and i would like.. go ' awwww....' and just drop some food.. however.. there came a time where my mom just said.. don't anyhow feed the dog cuz got bones.. and well over time.. i got more and more irritated when my dog my fav dog mojo kept begging me for food. i would like shoo her away and convinced myself that i shldn't give her like meat because dog food is enough for them.. and moreover, my parents spend so much on dog food and dog food is better for the dogs.. and also.. when u have four dogs, if u give food to one, you have to give food to the rest.. so its really quite tiring and troublesome.. because the food that the dogs want is usually the food that i am eating and well if i give 4 portions to four dogs, whats there for me to eat?
well anyways.. over time, i kina got hardened and whenever they barked, i would just ignore them.. and the louder they barked for food, the louder i would shout back at them as ask them to shutup. but they still continued barking anyways because the food they ate sucked and they wanted the stuff i was eating. though they don't eat everything.
and then this thought came to me. 'they won't stop barking till they are fed.'

and this thought came when i was deeply heated in debate with some friends about their inability to see that we ought to still vote for the PAP because the opposition simply isn't good enough to lead Singapore. they don't have the talent.or rather.. they don't have mentors who would mentor them to nature their abilities the way PAP can.
however.. on hindsight.. i realized one thing.. that people will never listen when they are hungry.
another imagery came to mind when i saw this whole debate between the opposition and the PAP.. it reminds me of the times when i quarrelled with Eve because she kept picking on my mistakes. i used to go harsh on her because i was thinking.. i'm doing so much for u.. and like trying to show you love, but why can't u be more understanding to me? and then i would think.. so ungrateful.. after all the things ive done for you in our relationship.. you still scold me and keep pointing all my flaws as if i don't have any good points. and i personally thought those points which she got mad at me for were trivial points. but to her.. they were irritating.
i think in that sense.. i was like PAP. being too logical minded.. being to mindful of what i think is important in a relationship and totally neglecting what Eve saw me doing that made her pissed off.

The reason why i think PAP would lose this round is because they really do not see things the way the opposition is. All the while, the opposition's cry has been repeated over and over. They want to be heard and to have the govt discuss the plans they have come up with with them. the second part is the part that i added although the opposition probably didn't say that before. but i believe this is what the opposition wants to see.. they want to see that the govt is able to sit down and discuss through their plans even if they may not be feasible yet and rather than shoot it down so readily.. have an open mind rather than say.. nah.. through my experience it dosn't work.
they want to see a government who can at least try to appreciate the intention behind the plans they have for Singapore. ANd more than that .. i believe that the youths themselves know that their plans for Singapore are very raw and undeveloped. but their hearts for their fellow Singaporeans is so that not one Singaporean would be left behind as Nicole Seah so strongly puts it. and the govt would probably think that such an idea is preposterous.. as many people believe too.. because there would surely be some people who would be left behind. but the least that people want to see is that the government also has a heart.. because.. when i look at the two parties rallies.. i noticed something.. the PAP never truly addresses the ideas and proposals brought forward by the opposition but is more interested in pushing forth their policies and saying.. 'look, our policies are better and u get to benefit more.' but the opposition is saying 'aiya.. we know your policies are definitely better because you have thought through it over and over and over again.. but u all have the advantage mah.. but why u never try to help us with our idea then u shoot it down? dosn't our idea try to at least make things better for our own people? dosn't our idea look at the interest of our people?? couldn't you at least consider that before dismissing it?? because if both of us decided to make this work, it would work! u just need to give us more advice and support us with our ideas but make it work with your experience.'
and i am sure that many Singaporeans are not people who can't be reasoned with. We are perhaps one of the most forgiving people. Just that people don't see it yet. I have chatted online with friends who supported the opposition and said that they would support the government if the government would address the issues and the questions that they pose directly at the government. i think personally however that there are some things the government simply can't freely relase to the public because it means to show an open hand to the world how much your country's reserves are. that isn't wise either.. but i think opposition supporters are quite willing to change sides if the government can second guess the younger generation rather then have them spell it out clearly for the government to do.. that would be too easy for the govt. rather.. i think the govt has to read in between some of the lines of the opposition and second guess what the youths are resonating with the opposition so strongly about.
.. when i was in school today to submit my thesis report.. i saw my friend who was supporting the opposition. and he is a strong supporter of the opposition too. however.. when i observed him and the way he talked and crapped.. i realized.. though we are on different political sides.. but we are so alike in many other ways. we both appreciate people who can be reasoned with and are open with who we support inspite of what other people might say. and he is also a person who loves to talk things out.
and i think deeply to myself.. we are friends even though we support different teams. we could laugh at each other and make fun of each other even though we were having a tough online debate about our support for our parties.
this really made me believe one thing.. PAP would have to first look at things from the perspective of a heartlander rather than as a government before the people would understand things from the perspective of a government. PAP would have to first give support because they have the power and the means to.

i think the divide between opposition and PAP never was about who is more capable to lead..because every opposition supporter knows PAP has so much more fire power than the opposition combined.. but rather.. this election is a tough question of whether PAP can listen to her people and be like George Yeo. When i see all the comments from the opposition for George Yeo.. i realized one thing.. they are not yet so hard hearted that they wouldn't listen and would humble themselves. for Ministers like Eric Low.. well.. pls wake up ure idea.. Hougang is not a slum. and for the government in general.. i think they should wake up their idea to the fact that all the opposition already knows that PAP is capable in leading Singapore into the future. but PAP has to listen listen listen instead of talk talk talk.

again.. i would wana apologize to all opposition supporters because as a PAP supporter.. i unfairly labelled u guys as ingrates. hmmmm.
for this time, i will still give my support to the PAP because i know they are capable and i know that currently, only they are capable of leading Singapore. however, i would also want to encourage the ministers to listen. especially on facebook. That is where we would want to see your thoughts and go head on with us online rather than offline. grins. offline, we all still know we have boundaries and can't really anyhow yell our displeasure and disturb the peace. lol.
invade TOC. and have a good trashing our of ideas with the youth where they are most active. I think things would be very very interesting if you did!

a 'funny' observation in myself.

2011-05-02T04:52:00.000-07:00

for the first time in my life.. i find myself standing up for something i believe in. Which is.. rather ironic.. because i thought i ought to have been standing up for my faith in Jesus. but of course i still love God more! but to a large degree.. much of the reason that i support PAP is because of my faith.
its funny how faith and politics become intertwined . but it does. In the bible, it says that all authority (good and bad) is given by God. So if ure a leader in a firm, or a family or a class or a soccer team.. its because God allowed it to be so. Also, one of the very important keys that the bible talks about is submission to authorities. That includes bosses who are unreasonable. And another is about honor. to give honor where it is due. and in my opinion. PAP deserves honor. And because God placed PAP as authority over me, i will give them my fullest support. And this loyalty extends to the opposition if it is part of God's will that the opposition wins this election.

it bewilders me why so many people think our government is out to take advantage of us. There are so many conspiracy theories about the govt. and to me that's so cliche. Even in university.. u see lecturers already drilling these conspiracy theories into the young minds of university students that the government has control over every thing in Singapore, which to me totally means the govt is doing their job in governing SIngapore. And we are taught in universities that the government tries to manipulate the public through policies and making 'slaves' of Singaporeans. of course.. many would go like... 'reallly???? ' after hearing such new revelations for the first time.. and then the prof would nod his head wisely and say 'really.' and then the prof would prove his point with videos and newpaper articles and tell the students u have to read inbetween the lines.
so begins the Singaporean youth's journey into a new world where the govt is the bad guy. because the prof says so. and week after week, he drills in the same idea over and over.. and the young influential minds start believing the professors although abit uncertain about is it really true.. and we look at Chee Soon Juan, a highly qualified man.. enters politics and ends up being jailed for fighting for the rights of Singaporeans as the classic case study. DO YOU WANT TO BE ANOTHER CHEE SOON JUAN?? DO U WANT TO BE A PATRIOT FOR A COUNTRY THAT NO LONGER LOVES YOU!??!?

and then students become captivated by an idea which they soon believe with their hearts. And they start seeing everything through a lens which they borrow from their tutors who aren't the most perfect people in the world either. but well because they are professors they ought to be trustworthy right?

so i believe the product of such professors would be people like Nicole Seah. they come to you and ask you 'who does the money belong to?!?! THE MONEY BELONGS TO YOU!!!!" , well technically i would say no.. the money dosn't belong to me because i'm a student and i've not paid a cent of tax all my life and yet i still receive money from the govt.. but hey.. whose complaining. i get more money if i support the opposition right since they will be fighting for all of us to have more money??? and after all its my parent's tax money right? so my parents money is my money so ... i deserve iT!!! SCREW THE GOVT!!! I WANT MY RIGHTS I WANT MY MONEY>> WHERE IS OUR MONEY?!?!??!?!?!! WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR GST?!??!?! I WANT MY MONEY!!!!!!THE GOVT IS HOARDING ALL OUR MONEY THROUGH GST!!! IT CLAIMED TO PROVIDE CARE FOR THE ELDERLY>> BUT WHERE DID ALL THE MONEY GO!??!?!?! WHERRR?????

so.. we want to pay less taxes. and we want the government to distribute money from the reserves, 60 billion so that we can start our own businesses. the plan sounds great! because more jobs would be theoretically generated by the service sector and more creative line people can create these jobs!!!!
but woh woh woh.. wait a moment...
Singaporeans, in service sector?? We are so rude on the roads. Can't even give way .. always want to over take.. always scared of losing out to people.. u think we can really have a service sector that can be comparable to other countries like Swizterland or Korea .. Comon.. u gota be joking.. the people can't even make it and u want to open jobs for people in the service sector??? Imgaine.. u go shopping.. then the shop assitant comes up to you. "eh! what u want?" of course.. right now we are making leaps in terms of service quality in like shopping centres and hotels and airplanes. but which resource is the most volatile?? humans. And Tan Jee Say can stake his entire reputation on a piece of paper that was written 3 years ago just because it showed that the service sector is very stable but the manufacturing sector is unstable..
even a lay person would find such a study questionable. but of course people would trust Tan Jee Say because he starts of his whole speech by boasting about his credentials. about how he used to be the secretary to the then dyPM Goh and claims that he has qualifications from oxford in economics and has headed an economic department and that he has rejected SM Goh whom he described to be 'begging' him to continue working for him as a secretary. but according to SM Goh, the story seems different because SM Goh claims that Tan Jee Say wasn't up to task to be his perm sec, so Tan Jee Say quit to try his luck in the private sector. And the irony is that Tan Jee Say's credibility with the opposition is largely due to the fact that he lends his crediblity from working for SM Goh in the past. ( Pls correct me if i have provided misinformation)
WHich points all the more to the fact that in fact, PAP has reliable leaders. credible leaders from whom even the opposition is borrowing credibility from. So i find it interesting that the opposition tries so hard to descredit the government..
but opposition supporters don't see this!
all they see are the same old things about gst, rising prices, HDB, a rigid govt. etc.. name it.. you have it.
but its all been said before.. even the stories of the past dug up from the lectures given in University. so its no surprise that most of the opposition supporters i believe are young students in who are studying in universities and polytechnics.
and of course.. herd mentality takes over sound judgement in such contexts.

ask almost any student why they are studying in NUS, they will tell you.. oh because i can get a good job. its not because they enjoy studying the subject. its so they can get a good job. and that's herd mentality for you. people all talk about joining the big firms.. the big this the big that.. rather than setting up their own firms.
and if u advocate foreign policies that dictate a cap on the number of foreigners tt come into singapore, you're lumping in the foreigners like MNCs and companies who invest in Singapore. these are the implications of a single policy of reducing foreigners into singapore.
but then.. again.. lets take yet another step back. weren't all of our ancestors at one point foreigners to Singapore?Dosn't that make us descendents of foreigners? Why do we all talk as though our forefathers owned SIngapore from the beginning ?? Isn't that elitist thinking from the opposition as well??
yet now.. we blame the government for the large influx of Foreigners. what if one day, the foreigners would be our bosses?? The rammifications are great.

but still so many opposition supporters support the opposition. why? because they see all their other friends supporting the opposition and buying their arguments. if u look at Tin Pei Lin's facebook page.. and start to read her comments, you'd realize another ugly truth about the opposition supporters. Practically all the people who comment on her facebook page are opposition supporters out to condemn her in the name of 'constructive criticisms'. quickwitted? smart alec? or really helpful?
which again makes me say no to the opposition. they don't even play fair.
because they allow their supporters to do the dirty work for them rather than exhorting their own supporters not to be so low handed.

so again.. where does the opposition's true support come from? it comes from herd mentality. the lack of people with a sound mind to think and weigh facts for the survival of a country.

but of course its too soon for me to say anything. because maybe all the so-called supporters may eventually vote PAP. because so far.. no one seems to support the opposition enough to respond to my challenge to give me the money which they got from the govt they so dearly resent. and again.. if u see this blog post and u support the opposition, pls feel free to give me your May-day govt money to my account . its POSB 139-167538. so pls! show your support for the opposition! after all why take the govt's 'dirty' money when you can give it to me!
grins ok i'm just being an idiot here. yup.
i just wana challenge all the opposition pple to respond to the issues that the PAP has raised in their rallys rather than try to pick on the kind of words they say or try to come up with more conspiracy theories.. i'm sick of that. tell me how the opposition is gona lead Singapore with proper blueprints that can stand the PAP's scrutiny.

one more thing.. about foreign policies.. the opposition is so quick to say things like.. its not that we are against foreigners coming to Singapore.. we love foreigners! we Singaporeans are a loving bunch!and then they say.. but when there is too many foreigners.. then... we will stop loving the foreigners. that's effectively what we are saying..
and they propose a cap on the number of foreigners coming into Singapore.
can you imagine how much loss in consumer confidence investors would have in Singapore? because to the world, we are in essense proclaiming that we are xenophobes. however nicely you might sugar coat yourself by saying 'we singaporeans love foreigners'.
imagine.. if the worker's party really becomes part of the government how turned off investors like China and the states would be. we would be making ourselves international enemies with even countries like India or Phillipines or Indonesia because we allow a party with such sentiments to power. Investor confidence would drop. and the currency would become weaker. and we would have much worse inflation that we already have just by letting someone like the worker's party come into power. what kind of bread and butter issues can the worker's party solve when Singapore has lost investor confidence because of who is ruling the country???
and moreover.. when we talk about foreign workers... without them.. who would take up the jobs to do construction work? to build our marina bay sands/?? Singaporeans/???? comon!!! please!! If not for the huge influx of foreign workers, would the MBS be built so fast? would construction projects like the new hospital in Choa Chu Kang be able to finish so quickly?

Apologetically verbose.

2011-05-01T20:14:00.000-07:00

i know what i wrote about not blogging about the elections. but i find myself just trying to unpack all the different speeches that have been going on. looking at how Vivien Balakrishnan has responded to Tan Jee Say's comments about using 60 billion dollars on the 'people' as if like so easy.
and also i had a rather intense facebook dialogue with a few friends after i purposely tried to poke at all the opposition supporters by asking them to give me the money that they received from the govt since well... they think its just a PAP ploy to garner their votes. i got replies like.. how that was a low blow. and how its not PAP who gave out the money.. its just the people receiving what they ought to receive.
its responses like these that make me question again and again and again.. what are people reacting out of throughout this whole debate?
and i think pride is one of the biggest issues. after being openly supportive of the opposition or the PAP. or PAPPies as we are called, then we are obligated to stick to the vote we proclaim is best for Singapore.
but i wonder.. how many people have listened to the PAP's speeches from MM Lee or SM Goh or Vivien Balakrishnan or Lim Swee Say or PM Lee. The amount of propaganda for the opposition online in facebook is crazy. esp through TOC. almost by the hour, they give people updates on what the opposition is saying. but i'm pretty sure most people don't know what PAP has to say either because.. well.. its probably not on their facebook. and people generally just respond to what the opposition has to say about PAP rather then listen for themselves to what PAP has to say. To listen to how the PAP says something like.. "singapore would regret their decision if they vote the WP" or " they would spend the next 5 years ruminating their decision." you give those very same lines to the opposition and they would add in their own intonation and people get riled up when they hear the aggression and anger in the voices of the opposition.
but when u hear that being said by MM Lee himself.. he says it so matter of factly.. like.. duh.... its like of course la.. if the opposition gets into power.. with the on the ground knowledge they have.. of course they sure cui la.. they havn't gone through what the PAP has.. they havn't sat down to think about issues the way PAP has.. they have not considered things and chewed on issues the way that PAP has.. so of course they sure will cui. PAP has spent the last 50 years inventing a wheel that would allow Singapore to continue running smoothly. now.. a small group with no experience in running a country wants to take over.. and invent a new type of wheel that would serve Singapore better.. comon.. even if u propose to have 10billion dished out to people to serve in the creative industry.. how many Singaporeans are truly creative??? Even in a 'creative' school like the school of architecture in NUS, i see people just sticking to safe.. solutions.. to look at architecture. and when people propose and predict how technology can cause evolution in architecture.. the tutors who have never heard such ideas are skeptical rather than intrigued or supportive or throwing in their input about how to push that idea. so students like that are left to fend for themselves. how creative are we?? that we deserve 10 billion to be spent on us.. just labelling yourself as creative does not mean you really are.. even though you may be an architect because there are so many different kinds of designers.
and as an architecture student i would know better than non-architecture students that the jump from a concept to a physical form is a big one. U can tell the lecturers super stories.. like how ure design represents fluidity and movement.. and dynamic spaces... blablabla.. but at the end.. they will look at your final product.

all we have so far from the opposition are proposals. u can slam the PAP for being too rigid or too pragmatic (which happens to be one of the biggest problems that architects have with the government(aka HDB) )To side track a little.. to my tutors.. in architecture school.. the statement ' your project looks like what HDB would come up with' is a comment that means your project is not original.. its too boring too pragmatic.

i think the architecture school has reached a stage where they see any proposal that comes across as pragmatic as something to be spurned upon with disdain. and this pretty much is a sentiment shared and propagated to the younger generation. and this is reflected in the way that the opposition supporters are voting. they easily suck up all the trash that the opposition is spouting. 'lets take 60 billion' out of the reserves and use it on all you guys!!!!
but then Vivien Balakrishnan comes up and says ' hello... u think 60 billion dollars very little ah.. that amount we take how long to save one.. and its for rough times.. u got so little in your account how to do anything when it is most necessary?

i get reminded of a bible story where i think Joseph advised the King of Egypt to store up grain in their granaries because there would be a time of famine and drought. and because of that.. countries around the world came to Egypt when drought really came.
and i think PAP is very wise in quietly storing up grain in the reserves. because a reserve is a reserve. You don't use it until a crisis crops up.
when the government allows 60 billion to be drawn out.. whats going to stop more people to demand that more reserves be drawn out once the 60 billion gets squandered away?

And to reiterate what Dr Balakrishnan says, its easy to come up with ways to spend money. but its another thing to consider a future for SIngapore.

hypocrisy runs deep in the elections for the opposition in my opinion. and my mini social experiment is proof. People are willing to receive 'under table money' and say its theirs to begin with and then spit at the party that decided to 'return' them the money.

people are so quick in this elections to say that it is 'our' money when money is being distributed. but i think when people are expected to pay tax.. everyone wants to siam. if people keep siaming taxes. then.. there won't be much money to distribute to begin with. and if i were to do a short math of the amount of money being distributed. lets say.. if 4 million Singaporeans received the may day package of what i received i.e $400. that would mean that 1.6 billion dollars was given out freely to Singaporeans. and 1.6 billion dollars isn't a small sum. and when you consider how 'kiam' Singapore's govt is about their money.. then it shows that the govt is not hoarding the country's wealth.

i think the Opposition party is on one hand saying that the PAP needs a backup govt. but when u think about how PAP works.. they are the kind of govt who would have thought 3 to 4 steps ahead of every other opposition.. and prepared counter measure after counter measure. because they know running Singapore is no joke.. especially since people are getting more and more qualifications. but i think qualifications does should not be confused with maturity. PAP has had 50 years to mature and evolve with time. From a puritan mindset we started off with.. now we are cautiously opening doors for culture to evolve.
and the fact that you have young people who are daring to disagree is a sign of that..
i think the issue here goes beyong bread and butter.. but to the way that humans treat other humans. i don't think Singaporeans are irrational. and there is always an element of injustice that has happened to them that would spark off an irrational lashback. certain things have not been handled properly because there are issues that the older generation simply does not concern themselves with that our generation recognizes and treasures.
i would say that if i compare myself with my dad. i think i'm definitely one to worry about how what i say would affect someone else and i have a more roundabout way in managing people's feelings to put across a single msg to them. wheras for my dad.. when he sees something wrong. its just common sense for him to just raise his voice at the maid and tell her.. u can't do this.. why are u doing this.. why why why why? sometimes.. when i look at my parents.. i just wonder to myself.. how come they always scream so much.. and over react to a simple situation when u can just be chill about it..
but i realize that.. that is necessary. because sometimes. things only happen when someone shouts loud enough. but i think for me, i would really just look for an opportune time. which means. 'do nothing'. i think we are a much more laid back generation than our parents generation because we grew up in an environment where we do not have to worry that we have threats just across the border. we didn't have to worry that our neighbours would wana bomb us.
so all we are concerned about now is really.. how can we make our nests more comfortable? which isn't wrong in itself. but i think on our part.. we have to admit that issues like social instability have never even crossed our minds in this elections. how many of us have even seen a riot happen in Singapore??
the gang fight saga and the slashing was enough to get Singaporeans all fearful.. it made us talk about education and religion.. but there was a time . a time where we were not even born .. that gangs were a serious problem in Singapore. SS or secret societies were problems that discipline masters(i.e my dad) had to worry themselves with.when we had those issues.. we had to depend on the government to do something about it. and they have done a very good job because now the gang presence in Singapore is minimal.
in this elections.. history is forgotten in a cavalier manner. just as most quarrels happen between spouse and husband. The wife would never remember the good things that the husband has done and vice versa in the heat of an argument. only bad things come out.
this election is like a quarrel between husband(PAP) and wife(opposition). The wife accuses the husband for a lack of heart in handling affairs of the state and being to surgical while the husband, being the logical person says.. why can't u just trust me to do what i'm best at doing? in my opinion.. PAP and Opposition have a long way to go in working together. one party has to submit. thats the way it works in a basic unit of a family. if the wife won't let the husband lead. divorce is the other option. but about co-driver and driver.. ultimately.. the one who dictates the pace of Singapore can only be done by one group. i believe that strongly. only one group at a time ought to have control. because many cooks spoil the broth.
That's why Kingdoms fall because everyone wants to be king. Assasinations etc. the belief that a new king would mean a better life.. that is the situation we are in.
i feel helpless at this point of time. because i'm quite sure that once we have chosen a side. no matter what the other side says.. would be pointless. no one is willing to listen. but everyone wants to be heard. which is why the opposition's rhetoric is always more dynamic and more popular. they promise a voice for Singaporeans. but in reality.. its just their voices u hear at the end of the day. not my voice. and i'm singing a totally different song from them. does that mean they would sing my song? rubbish.

why does the SIngapore put such a high premium on its leaders?

2011-05-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

well this is a question that i think is so easy to answer.
Singapore puts such a high price tag on its ministers because they lead a country instead of just a company.
isn't it common sense????

and so u would ask me.. so u think our ministers are not overpaid??
and i would say heck no! they are considered by many to be one of the best governments in the world.
and would a government be so transparent as to put their salaries for the whole world to see? how transparent do you want them to be??
people are so good at reading between the lines.. but they don't read between the lines like this.

ahhhhhhh i can't stand it.. why can't my friends see this?? why do they only see oppression??!?!??!?!??! arghhhhhh

i can't believe people need other people to explain it to them.. its so duhhh to my parents and its that simple. Good government need good pay mah.

the opposition's ultimate argument.

2011-05-01T10:31:00.000-07:00

they want people to vote with their hearts without their brains. because the PAP makes decisions with their brains.

which goes inline with everything they are doing.
they really are drawing people to vote for them by riling up their emotions.. so that their votes are emotional instead of rational.

as i watch more PAP videos and as i watched more opposition videos.
i think to myself.. enough rubbish.
most of the rallys i saw from workers party are nothing more than coffeeshop talk. sound like reused essays from university that probably scored an A because the professor happens to be anti-government to begin with.

i'm totally voting for PAP this time round. the opposition is really suck at convincing the people who are quietly analzying everything from behind the scenes. Businessmen, people of our parents generation who are too tired to go down to watch a rally.
what i see in the rallys esp the opposition side.. i have no respect for them. zero. PAP still earns my respect because i see they are mostly gentlemenly. and do not resort to getting dirt from the opposition. i think they believe that it should be a clean fight and they would stick to that.
that i respect.

like a rocking chair.

2011-04-30T09:38:00.000-07:00

as i talk and meet up with friends.. and listen to many opinions .. i find myself somehow like drawn towards different sides of arguments. On one side, i listen to what my parents have to say, and its a very clear cut reasoning very simple reason why they support PAP. because PAP has a track record. Because they have what it takes to lead SIngapore.
and when i listen to my friends, though i believe most of them would acknowledge that PAP has done plenty for Singapore. one thing that seems to be a common thread that they find detestable about PAP that i think is most prevalent is this word 'elitist'.
i think in general, most Singaporeans have no problem with PAP on most fronts. And i believe that they are willing to entrust PAP with decisions like how to build foreign relations with other countries.. or what kind of buildings to build.
their concern is that their leaders would become an elitist bunch who would reign as tyrants. and this is precisely why they believe the opposition is so necessary.
i think that as i go through a day .. there has come a large transformation in the way i see things happening.
and i wana apologize for making premature judgements on the opposition.
i think the common ground that most people can agree with is that we can trust the government, the PAP to make key decisions for this country. but when it boils down to the issue of leadership and accountability. this aspect has always been the point of contention.
this issue of whether our leaders can have the balls to say sorry when they screw up.. would SM Goh be man enough to admit that he perhaps has made a wrong choice in getting Tin Pei Lin on his team after backing her up so much. Would MM Lee be man enough to apologize on behalf of statements made by his ministers if they have been elitist.

there has to always be a compromise. And this GE i strongly feel is the whole reason why we ought to give credit where it is due. Both sides have to give each other credit for the values that they are fighting for rather than just pushing their own agenda's dogmatically. I think the first side that is willing to do that would win the trust of the voters. because i think it is obvious to the opposition supporters that the opposition parties would not be able to serve the needs of the Singaporeans the way that PAP can. There is nothing the opposition can offer to Singaporeans save one thing. A platform to voice to complaint without being legally sued.
its something i didn't think about before, but as i think about it now.. and put myself in the shoes of the opposition that i realize.. with the rules already set up in Singapore.. all the regulations about.. how u can and cannot do this... 5 or more people gathering .. then u are considered a mob or something.. or how to speak at the speakers corner.. u need to fulfil so many requirments.. then ure speakers corner is useless.

i think the younger generation sees through all the policy making and realizes one thing.. that Singapore's system is structured in such a way that even if people wanted to voice a valid opinion, they would have to pay a very high price to the point that they give up trying to raise their thoughts because... the very system makes it so that only the crazy people would want to voice out their own opinions. And as a result.. its so easy for the PAP or the government to write off all these 'anti-government' people as 'loonies' as people you can't trust..and in this respect.. i am in agreement with the opposition that we are oppressed because the system prevents the lay person from publicly declaring an opinion the way a monopoly prevents other companies from entering the market because of the high barriers of entry.

this system prevents Singaporeans from having a first class-level debate. now if i were sold the oppression argument this way, i would have been more inclined to lend the opposition my support.
if i had been told by the opposition that the opposition recognizes that PAP indeed has the ability to lead Singapore in most respects, and clearly draws the boundaries of its function to the parliament as not a co-driver but as a litmus test of what the people from the ground are feeling.. i would be more inclined to listen to the opposition.

but to take on a fully adversiaral stance .. and one that keeps condemning the government over the same issues over and over again.. i think.. like.. probably they sound like people who fail their GP.. because in GP essays, you always have to present a well balanced argument. somehow.. this rally.. we have very one sided arguments. very unbalanced view points..
its as though only one party has the answer..
but i believe only if PAP and the opposition identify and reconcile that both of them need each other.. then we at least would have made progress...
i feel that what this elections could potentially lead to is to cause a rift in Singapore because we are dividing on who we support..

like.. as though.. ah . u support PAP... 'i don't friend u anymore!!'
or ahh.. u support the opposition ah?? ' aiya.. why u want to support those people who can't do anything for Singapore?'

but i think if we sit down and logically analyse the whole situation for what it is..
i see that Singaporeans are a very awesome bunch of people.. because we believe that politics can be done without mudslinging.. because we believe that politics can be clean. wheras in countries all over the world.. politics is a platform for dirt to be thrown back and forth.
and i think this can be attributed to the fact that about 45% of the people voting are voting for the first time.
and i think all the more.. this would be an opportunity for SIngapore to show the world that politics can be done differently.. that it isn't foolish to have the seemingly naive opinion that we can both focus on sustained GDP year after year and still be able to take good care of our underpriviledged people. because this is the situation all countries consider a myth.How is it possible to focus on two things that are diamterically opposed to each other. how can you flourish financially and also to flourish by taking care of the needs of our elderly and our citizens and somehow finding a balance between the two.

i think Singapore's leaders might initially scoff at the idea of the Singaporean idealism. Like .. pls la.. u want to 'raid' all Singapore's reserves to help all the underpriviledged?? we save all this money for how long already then.. u now want to squander on all the Singaporeans.. without there being any monetary returns or benefits? but come to think of it... no country has ever thought this way before. i mean we see europe suffering from their pension schemes financially.. and reserves being eaten into as well..
but could Singapore do the whole pension scheme differently?
so that we can still take good care of our retired parents using the reserves?
because what use is the worlds largest reserve if it just hoards money and dosn't get used?? i would think that is being miserly to our own people.

but to really give credit to the government.. i still feel that the government is very generous. and has taken very good care of us. always taking back up measure upon backup measure to ensure that Singaporeans do not spread SARS. we don't realize how good Singapore is till we compare it to the global stage in terms of the efficiency of response to events like SARS.

but to sum up my points.. i just want to say that in this GE, i personally believe there is no clear cut bad guy or good guy. to say that the PAP is totally wrong.. is foolishness. To say the opposition are a bunch of idiots is also foolish. somehow.. we lack an intermediate voice to arbitrate between these two parties. and i think that voice belongs to the people....
i think at the end of the day.. this is the time for the people to give their analysis in an unbiased manner .. without influence from the press.. or from the influence of the government or the opposition propaganda...
but for some group of people who would just stand up to give valued judgements and commentry on both parties.

i think we serverly lack this... independant parties that are non government.. yet concerned enough about Singapore to say something..

it is this group of people who have kept quiet during the world war 2 in Germany and allowed Hitler to reign. so.. just a shout out to more to provide unbiased commentry on this whole GE.

more thoughts about PAP

2011-04-29T01:53:00.001-07:00

I was just reflecting on the nature of debate that is taking place. And I feel that there are many things the PAP woulld love to point out about the opposition but can't because people would consider that mudslinging and then you would be conversely give room for the opposition to attack your credibility.
For one.. the opposition has a list of... people who probably would make Singapore look like a sorry bunch of clowns on the global scene. Imagine Low Thia Kiang as ambassador of Singapore. I don't have to elaborate anymore. You'd think Singapore is run by a taxi driver who is uncouth and unable to speak in a diplomatic and civil manner.
Look at the behavior of the opposition party. They are like hooligans. Cursing and swearing.. can you imagine Singapore being run by them? These are the kind of people supporting the opposition..
Although this is obvious to people all over Singapore. And it is so clear when you look at the rallys going on.. the behavior of the opposition supporters. No one dares to say anything against them. After all..they are the most vocal bunch of people.. and in Singapore, the nice people get trampled on by those who have the louder voice. Its happening right before your very eyes!
Anyone professing to support the government almost certainly will get some kind of flak or meet up with opposing views. Condescending questions like.. have u read their manifestos come up. As if the opposition are the only people with brains. And when the SM comes up and tells people that if u vote for the opposition u will regret it, people start reacting as if he said something the PAP isn't entitled to say. U can't say anything bad about the opposition. But sometimes, all he is stating are facts. I'm not gona entrust Singapores future into the hands of a bunch of ingrates who are responding out of being 'mistreated' if those allegations are even true to begin with.
The opposition throws up so many unsubtantiated claims by citing singular events and generalizing them to be the PAPs major faults. Which aren't many to begin with.
Who among the older generation would respect Nicole Seah after her speech. Such disrespect for th
E opposition. She dosnt even know that even in law courts, it is expected for one to show respect to the opposition. She is still young. And ignorant. Who among the older generation would root for such a rude young girl?
This is how the NSP expects to win the elections?
I think this is a failure on their part. U want to win marine parade like that? I think go home and learn some manners first and maybe the older folks would want to listen to you. Parents are like thinking who is this young girl.. come out of no where, and dare to challenege SM Goh like tt?
The opposition is stupid in this respect. I shan't bother with pleasantries because I am not expected to do so. I simply remain to this day disgusted with the ingratitude of people from my generation. Biting the hand that feeds them. All the education all that civics and moral education. And still u have Singaporeans who only give a shit about their own ass rather than serve Singapore.
I hope more people who are like minded with me would also speak up. And shut the traps of these opposition parties.. they are responding from emotions rather than logically.

And come to think about it. The opposition parties have to be pretty well to do and well paid themselves.. after all they can set aside 16000 bucks to enter this elections as opposition. Someone as young as Nicole Seah, with 16000 bucks spare change to come and rara the crowd for a shot at getting a seat in parliament? And then here they are taking a rip at the ministers for being paid for a shit job that no one would want to take up unless they felt called to would?
Comon la... I'm sure Singaporeans have more sense than to continue listening to the rubbish and empty words the opposition is spouting.. they can say anything they want to get the votes they need, but what if they are like Obama who can't deliever what they promise?? They don't even have any mentorship from the ministers.. what would they know about leading a country????

Tell me which is more important, theory from books or practical experience. The opposition has theory, but PAP has both. So if we are really making informed decisions and we also agree that PAP is indeed capable to lead the country, why do we still need the opposition???

what is this elections

2011-04-29T01:53:00.000-07:00

The more vocal I get about my support for the Pap the more I realize one thing. People can't really tell you why they supportt the opposition. At best, it is a noble cause for freedom. But freedom from what? Oppression? Then when I start comparing Singapore and North Korea, then people say.. we shldnt compare ourselves to other countries...then I ask them but isn't the opposition doing that everytime they compare Singapore with Europe and America in terms of democracy. And then they say something like.. isn't it better to ask for a better country? And then what?? So instead of working on the governmentt we already have and improve it, you are proposing that we just start from scratch again by getting a new ruling party. I'm totally not convinced. If the claim for supporting the oppositions is because we want to ask for a better government. Then why not just improve and refine the government instead of starting from scratch? And I can anticipate people just saying stuff like we are not starting from scratch, we just want an opposition to keep the governent in check. So all the oppositions wants is to have more seats in the government and more control over Grcs.
But to begin with then what about freedom or releasing us from oppression? If u want freedom from oppression, what kind of oppression are we talking about? People come up with lists of countries that have third world countries ranking higher than Singapore in terms of freedom.and I ask them. So would u like to live in the Philippines or Bangladesh over Singapore? Since both countries are ranked higher. No one really answered that question.
So as I dig deeper and ask more questions. I realize.. its never really about Singapore or the better good of the people.. its about the immediate needs of the Singaporeans that we are really contesting for. And I think we are perhaps sounding like xenophobes(ihope I'm using the right word.) We are speculating a world a singapore that is flooded with foreign immigrants..and I think that reflects on the maturity of Singaporeans in general. Are we so threatened by them that rather than coexist we would even consider alienation. Sounds like Singapore might be the next North Korea. And u don't even need PAP to make that happen.
I'm more convinced that most Singaporeans are voting based on facts. Facts about what the government has failed to do. But then they contradict themselves by putting their vote on parties whose members have little track record in leading a country. At least Pap even has an ex chief of army as their candidate. They have a team of leaders who have much experience in leading already. These are the kind of people you would feel safe with. And for TinPeiLin, even though I think she is very robotic and sounds like she has memorized scripts. She has great mentors.
Another question I asked that led made me more convinced that singaporeans are voting because of herd mentality is this.. when I asked my friend who isn't a pap supporter. Do u think Pap is incapable of leading Singapore. Then the answer was no. So why exactly are Singaporeans voting the oppositions or rooting so much for them.
Though many people would hate to admit it. I would say its because everyone else they know is rooting for the opposition. So much for a thinking singapore

But one thing the opposition party has done that owns Pap is their strong online presence, especially through the onlinecitizen. When I compare PAPs facebook page with TOCs page, I would think that PAP seems mild as kittens. ToC, inspite of their at times childish arguments has captured the hearts of Singaporeans even before the elections. They are very resourceful in digging up newspapers and are constantly questioning what the government is doing. PAP needs to work on this aspect and in my opinion have to play a catch up race to win back the netizens. Somehow, they lack a Nicole Seah who gets the younger people rooting for her. PaP certainly has a higher standing with our parents generation, but in my frank opinion, their efforts to reach out to the younger generation seems 'lame'. Like an uncle trying to use facebook to look cool. What the PAP needs is someone with online presence more than anything. Because that is simply the way that our generation communicates. The opposition has TOC which to me truly raises up thought provoking issues. And was started by someone from the younger generation too. Which explains why it is so able to bring up relevant issues that make Singaporeans question the status quo.
The PaP seems dormant in that area. I feel like I'm rehashing myself but yup..
If PaP loses seats, it would be because the youths have voted against the govt. Not the older generation.
A new generation needs a new generation of leaders with the ability to recognize the strengths of the old guard and combine it with the strengths of the new generation. This synergy is totally lacking in PaP but in the NSP, they have picked up really quickly on this and capitalized on this greatly. I think this solidarity between people of different generations in the NSP is perhaps the most magnetic aspect of the party. Because they show one msg.that the old guard are ready to make way for the new guard and let them lead the way. People would see Pap as the party that still needs to put a leash around their younger leaders. Which is why people don't think very highly of the young leaders from PaP. Somehow..somehow PaP has to dispel this prevalent mindset. Only God can do that.. not some policy... its something u either have or don't...its not something that a policy will be able to churn out.

The issue that Singaporeans have with PAP

2011-04-28T09:35:00.001-07:00

I think one of the biggest hurdles that PAP has to cross in order to win back its people is to be able to incorporate people who disagree with each other into PAP. The reason why the opposition parties are gaining so much favor with the crowd is the perception that PAP is a group of people who have been brainwashed into Yes people who lack a mind of their own.

This more than anything will lead to PAP's loss of support.. which i think is a pity because they have been doing a swell job of running the country. Yet.. i still feel that the point that SM Goh Cheok Tong made about there being too many opposition parties in the parliament seats is a valid argument. its kinda like having dogs barking for food everyday. u just can't concentrate on your work till you feed them.

at the end of the day.. i think we all have to understand that the government is only human... its like the way there are backup systems setup in case of a screw up. The opposition is like a backup. a spare tire, as Low Thia Kiang says. so.. in other words.. as long as PAP does its job well.. Singapore has no use for the opposition.

which comes back to the main point.. why do u have to have an opposition just for PAP to do its job well.. its like having a watchdog to watch over people giving out fliers so they wouldn't slacken and give out 4 fliers at one time to the passers by.
With the stringent measures that PAP already puts on itself when they are selecting their new candidates.. how useful is the opposition?
I think Low Thia Kiang simply shot himself in the foot by likening the opposition to a spare tire. He already is reducing the impact he can have as an opposition.

Personally, i feel that if the opposition wants to be the opposition, they should be like Nicole Seah. Really a voice for people. One that isn't from PAP. because the PAP could be just hearing only the good things from the people and forgetting the 'opposing' views that people have with regards to government policies..
and if PAP and the opposition can work together to resolve the people issue, then the opposition's job really is more tangible.
But that would make the oppositions job really shitty too.. because they would have become nothing more than complaint centres.
i can't imagine life as a complaint service officer.

but then again PAP already has thought of that.
so...
what use is the opposition to Singapore?

I'm quite irritated when people use this slogan "Vote for change" as a reason for voting for the opposition party...
what kind of reason is that?
To vote for change for change sake? even if it means change for the worse?
its a very skewed logic that i feel many people are buying into.

somehow.. so many Singaporeans have been convinced by the opposition parties that changing the government would mean a brighter future for SIngapore. Only time can tell. i would say some of the opposition parties are naive.
Thinking they have the answers that PAP dosnt' have. The scope and breadth and magnitude of the things that need to be dealt with so that u can run a country is so wide.. it does not just concern the heartlander.. but also the relations with other countries.

right now.. i feel that the opposition is able to win the crowd with issues of bread and butter. ERP, GST, Food price increase. But they do not take world issues into consideration.. and the global impact of policies. so many factors that simply can't be left out when discussing policies are just ignored because of bread and butter issues.. foreign policies are scorned and seen as a virus that would overwhelm us.
But Singapore, is a country that needs to survive through global relations with others.

Although this is a song that has been sung manytimes by MM Lee Kuan Yew, but Singapore still is and will be a country whose primary natural resource are its people. Now if all we are concerned about in our policies are issues of rising cost,or complaints about ERP, GST.. and what else have u.how Mas Selamat escaped through a toilet. or about Singapore's freak flood.. and forget totally about how we can continue to forge closer relations with other countries ... then we really are naval gazing. we are talking about the survival of a country.
and the opposition has primarily been caught up with the micro management of the livelihood of the underpriviledged few. Housing schemes. more hdb. dun let the foreigners in. (sounds like Australia and some other countries that are intimidated by foreign influx of people which also include SIngaporeans)

And also.. people no longer believe in an autocratic rule like Singapore's and want a democracy. simply because 'successful' countries like America, and Hong Kong do the same. Its a herd mentality effect. people copy only the successful rather than see what works best in their current situation.
Is Singapore ready to 'evolve' into a democracy?
is it wise to scorn the advice the MM Lee has given as rubbish? that Singapore is unique and hence would do better without democracy.

but.. people are drawn by cries of change. By cries of champions who would fight their cause and rebel for the sake of the people.
Without an enemy, i.e. the PAP, the opposition has no reason to function.
and soon enough.. if the opposition takes over and SIngapore finds it incompetant.. who do u turn to?

I feel that Singapore currently is like Israel during the time of the judges. They cried out for a King because the judges then i.e. the sons of samuel(correct me on this cuz i'm not very sure) were wicked before the people. So they asked for a King. BUt the Israelites didn't realize that they were rejecting God who had setup this form of governance for His people. Ultimately, God granted the Israelites their desire for a new system of governance because the other countries also had kings. I think we ought to think very carefully... about change.
because we might be stepping out of a system that God had designed specifically for Singapore because such a governmental system works only for Singapore.. and another kind would not allow SIngapore to function at its optimal capacity.

are we asking for something we would regret.

Change is overated.

Female Engineer: “Porn saved my Marriage”

2011-04-28T09:24:00.000-07:00

wah.... really ah......
what kind of news is this??

Lianhe Wanbao - 3 days 5 hrs 13 mins ago

Female Engineer: “Porn saved my Marriage”Due to her husband’s neglect, female engineer started watching porn videos online. But that unexpectedly helped salvage her marriage.

A female engineer began to immerse herself into porn videos after her husband neglected her. But surprisingly, the porn helped to spice up their sex-life and save their marriage.

Due to her failing marriage, the 32-year-old engineer turned to viewing x-rated online sites to alleviate stress and became addicted.

Her experience was cited in a survey in England which found that one in every 3 porn addicts is female.

The female engineer told the press that her Australian friend sent her a porn magazine 8 years ago. After leafing through it, she found herself starting to go online as well to watch porn after her husband began neglecting her.

Separately, a 21-year-old graduate says she reduces her stress level before each job interview by watching about 15 minutes of porn.

hmmm.. well people always are trying to shed a new perspective on things.
but it dosn't take much for one to see the skewed logic here. porn saving a marriage? might as well say.. 'adultery saved my marriage'

nicole seah vs Tin Pei Lin

2011-04-28T07:17:00.001-07:00

I think if i were to vote for either of them.. so far although i'm a PAP supporter, i would vote nicole seah because she is very confident and has a very strong opinion.
also, Nicole has the ability to speak for the people.Wheras Tin Pei Lin comes across as a puppet for PAP. She dosn't seem to have an opinion of her own.. and is unable to disagree with PAP.
Nicole however admits to be a former stonge PAP supporter and now has crossed over to the opposition because she believes that policies alone aren't enough to effect realistic change in Singapore especially for the disadvantaged in Singapore.
hmmmm
ok i have been too out of touch with politics.. gota catch more videos on youtube.

model 1: For u guys who helped to make this model! :) :) THANKS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-04-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

model 2: for all u guys who helped! :) :) :) :) :):)

2011-04-28T06:05:00.000-07:00

an overdue thanksgiving.

2011-04-28T04:27:00.000-07:00

i've been feeling bad cuz i've always wanted to take time to give thanks to God because of how He has helped me through my thesis which just ended last this monday. its quite surreal how this whole thing seems to have passed so quickly.. and now i'm a little at a loss of what to do with my time.
First hand, i experienced God sending me angels to help me to make my final model.
I wana thank in no particular order, Joel, Michelle, Jeremy, Dawn, Eve, Daniel, Kian Tong and last but not least, my bro Terry! All of them just came and volunteered help and helped me look for help when i wasn't really looking for any.. .My Family was super supportive, always asking me how my work was.. and they came down all the way to uni from East cOast to have breakfast with me so that i wouldn't have to travel out and could get back to work immediately.. i'm so touched! also i can't forget all the people at flagpole prayer who were keeping me in prayer and always asking how my work and progress was. meeting up with them to pray every morning kept me sane and not stressed. I can't help feeling like.. soo thankful.. cuz i never never never never never would have been able to complete my model if not for all of them.. and of course.. i would never have been able to do my thesis if not for all the God inspired ideas that came along the way. God has been soooo faithful. cuz i really started working on my panels during the 2nd last week and then.. for my model i started on the base model on my third last week and then for the final model i started it on wed before submission. and the help that came.. was awesome.. although like Dawn, Michelle and Jeremy were not architecturally trained i felt they really put their hearts into helping me with the model and they really made the model look very neat and polished! Jeremy was the awesome gluegun master and he stayed up with me till friday night just after good fri. (though that was his first time using a glue gun)Joel helped me with the preparation for the model and really helped me cut down the time. He also volunteered to help me ask for help to make models.Special thanks to Daniel firstly for helping me make the stairs for my model.. oh man.. i really really wana thank God for this bro in Christ. cuz he did the most difficult part of my project for me. and yup he even called me at 1am just on the day of the model submission asking me if i needed help and he brought along a friend Kian Tong who helped me and was really excited to do the model.. they only intended to stay for an hour to help me but ended up staying up the whole night just doing the model with me.. and assembling the model.. i really really really don't know what to say. .because firstly, i met Kian Tong for the first time that night and i didnt' know him and Daniel came down just to help.
thats what i called angelic help!
i also wana really thank my bro alot because he came to help inspite of him being an early sleeper. He helped to cut out elipses and make the layer. boy.. it was tough for him but he still fought his tired eyes for my sake.
and i know it was God answering my prayer because i was praying to God telling Him, "God, if you think i need help, then please send me help."
and boy.. did He send help!!!
Joel helped me to cut the base for the landscaping part of my model out and score all the paths into the model.
Michelle and Dawn painstakingly cut out all the pieces of the landscaped model and stuck them onto the grass material and stuck it back onto the model.. Michelle also on her own accord went to ask the youths to help me with the model... my .. i was soo touched!!!
Also wana thank Eve! Cuz even though she was not confident at doing these kind of craft work, she still came down at around 8-9pm on a fri night for a short while .. that to me was really heartwarming. :) i just wana thank God for friends like them :) :)
and well throughout the sem.. although there were ups and downs.. and although i was jumping on a crazy thesis topic.. about sound and converting it to energy, i felt that it was a do or die kind of thesis and that exited me.. people either would be skeptical about it or they would be like.. wow that's interesting.. and part of me wanted to do a safe design.. but i thought.. what the heck.. lets go for double or nothing.
The thesis was really like a gamble to me.
its either i go all out or i die.
and well to be honest.. compared to alot of people in my cohort.. i feel that i am super relaxed. but this was only because each day God was constantly with me. assuring me when i started feeling stressed and upset. I always had a peace even when my tutors slammed me.. and somehow.. there was always this attitude of.. hmm ok.. lets try to work on that part they didn't like.. i'm not normally like that.

when people ask me.. does prayer really work.. i don't really know how to explain why i can do that everyday every morning without fail.. waking up early in the morning to spend time with people who are like minded in prayer.. i could have been sleeping .. or doing other things like my work..
yet... i whenever i think that way, i think God reminds me that i only have to depend on Him and abide in Him and i don't have to worry.
Throughout this semester and the last, this word has been my cornerstone.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will set your paths straight.

If God had not been my pillar of support, i would have crumbled long ago during this thesis, seeing how much more work everyone else seemed to be doing compared to me.
But when i look back.. all i can say is that God's timing has been pin point perfect all the way. always when i most needed help, He sent it.. when i most needed encouragement, He sent me people to encourage me.. my archi friends, my crusade friends, my church friends, my family..
Yup.
My heart is just bursting with gratitude. for the people who made my project happen. Also not forgetting my awesome tutor, Mr Tan Teck Kiam. My.. he's a strict tutor but he is a very caring one too. if not for him i would have gotten lax with my project and thought things would go smoothly.. he always rocked my boat and made me want to improve.
But none of these would have happened if God had not arranged it..
all the people i've met, or the opportunities i've had to just talk to them.. and interact with them..
:) :)
THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) ):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)) WHOOWOOOOO!!

sometimes telling the truth as it is is the last thing a want to do.

2011-04-09T03:21:00.000-07:00

if only all communications cld be done non verbally. I kina feel like crap. More because I havnt eaten than anything else.. jim feeling super emo as a result.
Its interesting how emotions u never knew were there come flying at you all at once because you didn't eat. I hadn't had lunch and already I'm feeling really grouchy.. and its scary.. the thoughts that suddenly come are at times violent and it feels as though ure super sensitive. In a bad way. Hmmm. Without food I think its really easy to become delusional and lose self control. Not a very exciting thought.

faith in the new

2011-04-07T16:53:00.000-07:00

I think more than any generation. Our generation places its faith in things that are new. Whenever there are new products people get into a frenzy to get it in faith that that new thing. Perhaps an iphone 5 wld help to improve their lives. I think all new things basically do one thing. They make life more seamless. Communication is so much more readyily available.we can do much more with much less effort. However, we also have to realize that these devices are also our burden. Because they give us less excuse to not know.
Misinformation is also more prevalent.
But still we embrace the new. Because there is always the perception tt the new ways are an improvement from the old ones. New things bring change. New things bring prospects.
And to a large extent it is very true. The new has brought us to new heights that generations before us never imagined were possible.
But these new things somehow never really helped to address issues of the heart. New philosophies and ways of thinking might help but only to numb us to heart issues. To be cold thinkers brings more profits. We don't have to worry about hurting someone else..we can only say its their fault for being too sensitive...
How much more civilized are we than people who lived in an age that no longer exists??

life goes on

2011-04-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

No matter what kind of turmoil I have been going through.. life goes on. Be it the breakup. Or my thesis. Or graduation.. life goes on. Lives, thousands of them lost in the space of a few days in Japan. Perhaps a few questions of why.. God why?? And then life goes on. The memories of the dead soon fade away. N its back to surviving and living. Such a life sucks in my opinion. Its amazing how a life dedicated to serving others can impact many others. But for many of us we are really in a system where we see so many flaws.. yet feel helpless to change. Where are the william wallaces.. where are the people who would lead us out of this new age of slavery? Slavery of the common man to a system which he hates. There is no life. Just maintainence.. and upgrades.. we no longer dream. We follow. we no longer innovate. We just follow the successful models hoping that it would work for us too... but we are seriously mistaken. Because everyone works differently.. how do we expect the same models that used to work last time to work now? That , as Einstein stated is insanity.

Off Tangent.

2011-04-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

u know ure day's not right.. when you feel that you are reacting from something rather than deciding what to do with your time.
Its hard to decide not to worry about ure thesis when u realize there just is so much more work to do. as for myself.. i just feel like .. i'm forgetting to lean on God each time i get stressed.
the bible says do not be anxious about anything.. but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
perhaps the only religion in the world that tells you not to worry.
yet which human is free from it?
and i personally believe that the only group of humans on earth who teaches anyone to not worry about anything.. even the things of this life.. are the Christians.
personally.. i'm struggling to not worry now.. perhaps i shld go and sleep.
its 9pm. my heart isn't in my work.. i might as well go and rest.. and think through my work again. sleep on it so to speak.
and it so happens that this term also is coined by a group Christians, the quakers i think.
Well.. today i totally didn't spend my time on thesis as much as i would have liked to. God help me. yup. help me to continue to trust in you. Help me to be able to move when u move.
i really wana give u glory with my work. i want to boast about how it is only because of your intervention that i could have completed my thesis.

the people who have taken drugs,murdered, raped, cheated, lied, hated

2011-04-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

there is one thing all these people have in common.
they know they aren't perfect.
there's also another group of people who think they are.
usually, the former are more real.

why else would people rather watch movies about life in streets, the not so presentable side of society than movies where people are all perfect and holy moley.. and totally plastic.

yet.. sometimes.. people in the church are expected to be like that.. plastic. all perfect on the outside.. and empty on the inside.. they don't make mistakes.. because they never try anything different. the safety of familiarity takes precedence over breaking boundaries.
yet.. the church has always been about breaking boundaries..
individual heroes who have defied cultures transformed them.
It was one man who started building the ark. People laughed at him. Turns out. they drowned, while he lived.
It was one man who talked to a burning bush, and believed that God spoke to him and because of him, Israel came out of Egypt from captivity.
It was one young man who stood up to a giant when seasoned warriors trembled, and Israel no longer was fearful.
It was one man who died on the cross for claiming to be a God,and 2000 years later, people still believe in Jesus. What use is a dead man to humanity. only.. this dead man rose from the dead. and talked to people. Christianity is the only religion(for lack of better word) where their leader claimed to be God. was resurrected after 3 days and is alive today .

its because of this man, that a rapist can be considered righteous. It is because of this man that the prostitute can be called holy. It is because of this man that a murderer can be considered sinless.
this man redefined righteousness. because no longer do good deeds count as righteousness. Rather, it is by faith.. that man is considered righteous.
no wonder they wanted Him cruscified.
because now.. the plastic men who used to be perfect could no longer call themselves righteous, holy or sinless because Jesus proclaimed that man is considered righteous as long as he has faith in Jesus.

creativity

2011-04-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

whose the best architect in the world?
well the answer is.. God.
:)
The thing about creativity is that hard work comes along with it.
Behind every dance routine are nuances that give a desired effect. the dancer has to be so familiar with his moves but yet not get bored of it. he has to constantly seek perfection in order to keep doing what he does. because a routine, when routine becomes a bore.
when over done.. becomes a chore.
that when passion turns dry because creativity runs thin.
when all the moves you have in your trick box has been pretty much exhausted, you think to yourself.. what other kinds of strategies do you have?
thats when creativity finds itself evolving into something that is built on what was already created.
Which is why God never stopped creating things.
perhaps evolution is God's way of messing the minds of men. Perhaps God purposely designed animals which could evolve so as to tease men into thinking that we too are the product of evolution.
But over 2000 years, humans have not changed very much. Technologies have changed lifestyles.. but the humans are pretty much the same.
if humans were truly evolved from monkeys. there shouldn't be any monkeys left in this world. since they should have all turned into humans.

but creativity...
how do people continue doing what they love and not get bored by routine? how do you sing a same song over and over again and not get sick of it?
dosn't it then amaze you that human after human, we reproduce more of ourselves, but yet.. each human 'produced' by 'chance' (if u subscribe to evolutionist theories) is unique in character, intellect, physique.. all of us proof and evidence that we didn't happen but were designed by someone far greater.

i think something that fascinates me thoroughly is the act of going through something for yourself.. its different seeing a man rejoice at being an uncle in a movie from being an uncle yourself.

and yet .. most of our human lives and knowledge have been 'lived' viscerally through movies. we adopt people's experiences and react as though their experiences were our experiences. Which explains why a person can face a situation he has never experienced in his life and yet be able to handle it because someone before him has experienced it before.
he gets these ideas because someone before him did it that way..
but then it comes to call to mind... where did the first person who thought of the solution to face such a situation get his solution from?

the source of everything from creation.. to the concept of the original 'idea' points to something bigger.. something bigger than any human . so far humans have only adapted and converted something into something.. we call that creation. but it merely is assembling of what is already existing.
no.. the most authentic idea of creation is really to make matter appear out of nothing. And no human to this date has made something that has not already existed exist.

Only God could do that.

dear Richard Dawkins

2011-03-27T16:48:00.000-07:00

I was having a facebook conversation with my friend n we were discussing about whether a rapist or a serial murderer or a philantrophist who is an aetheist would go to heaven or hell. N somehow, I just thought the last description fitted you.
N in some of my previous blogposts, I've used your name in a few instances with negative connotations.. because of how you explicitly expounded your views that there was no such thing as God and through your arguments which have won so many people over, you have influenced many people into believing that there is no God.
And somehow when I suddenly thought about you and what you clearly stood for, I realized suddenly that we never really were on opposing teams. You believe in a cause for humanity as much as I do. You see so clearly through history the numerous wars which religion has incited.
And ( ill continue this post again later )

times of transition

2011-03-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

this year is really a year of transition.
so many things have happened and are going to happen.
I'm gona graduate from NUS after 5 years.
My sister Grace is also gona graduate from Laselle in animation.
My cheh is gona give birth to baby Angelina in August.
My kor got an audi just last month.
My parents got a pay bonus.
I'm no longer w Eve.
I'm gona go for my first mission trip to cambodia too.
really is a mix of sadness and happiness ( lol sadness with happiness)

but nonetheless, times of transition.
I've got God to thank for the things He has allowed to take place in my life.

life looks exciting.
My thesis dateline is looming just around the corner. 23 more days.. before dday.
3 weeks.
time is really running short. but yup my trust still is in God.
i don't have much to cling on to except the hope i have in Him.
Only because of Him, can i smile at a storm and not be worried.

I don't know what awaits me.
I only have a few promises to hold close to my heart.
That i don't have to worry. because of how big my God is.

the online citizen

2011-03-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

As much as I would like to say tt the online citizen is a platform for people to voice their opinions. I think it is merely a platform for just a few people to share their opinions.
Everytime I receive a facebook update from them, it is predictably about the government. Really... their rhetoric is dull and repetitive.. cliched.. and most of all... not helpful to anyone. . All the online citizen is is an anti PAP platform. If PAP were to disband, the online citizen has no meaning and purpose.
Its tiresome each time to see how relentless all these intelligent Singaporeans are in making sure that PAP crumbles. Pay is always the main argument. Money is always the issue. Whether it is for old folks, the orphans or jobs..everything centers around jobs.. and pay. This is pretty much all we are concerned about whenever politics is involved. Even in churches. Large portions of the AGM is focused about inflow and outflows of cash. Rather than address issues, we are really worried about money rather than the heart issues of the church.

I can't really say anyone is at fault. But certain things I see happening really are meaningless and people seem to a. Especially spending so much effort and time to discredit other people.

grins

2011-03-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

i have been bothered that the html script which counts the number of views on my blog wasn't working, so i decided to change it. and i'm currrently using the one from the widgets provided by blogger.. and i realized that the number of views is actually much less then the one i used for my html. because i think that one didn't count the number of times i viewed my own blog. so from 6000 ++ it actually reduced to like 5000 ++ and when i think about it. i realize that the person who reads my blog most is myself lol :) and i laugh at myself :) Richard u are ure biggest fan after all. lol

spirits

2011-03-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

everyone has a spirit.
everyone knows they have a spirit and a soul. somehow. its something you have come to expect. no matter what religion you have.. perhaps with the exception of the elite few like Richard Dawkins who totally disregard the spiritual realm's existence.
everyone has a spirit. and i believe that that spirit has the ability to strengthen or destroy someone else's spirit.
We don't realize how spiritual we all are till we look at the way we use the word spirit.
People drink spirits in bars. In the war, the people with stronger battle spirits usually win. Usually. In daily life, we have high and low spirited people.
so what exactly do we mean by spirits?
the word spirit is so often used in the context of religion. Mystics and Christians tend to use this word way more frequently.people tend as a result to dismiss the spiritual realm altogether thinking that only Christians talk about these kinds of things.
yet when we look at other religions... the Chinese are very well known for all their hungry ghost festivals, and the praying to the ancestors.. how when they die, their spirits either go to heaven or hell. Ghosts. all these kinds of things.

today, i'm trying to make more sense of this word spirit and bring it down from its religious pedestal. every man has a spirit, body and soul.
each man's spirit has the ability to affect either positively or negatively another man's spirit.
Stay in a room with an angry man who is yelling on the phone, screaming violently words like 'shutup! LISTEN TO ME! You dare to say this??' venemous threats.. and soon enough you'd find yourself feeling the same things.. you'd feel suddenly riled up and you didn't even realize it.

your spirit has been affected by someone else's spirit. Similarly.. when youre rushing for a dateline. and everyone else is rushing like crazy while you aren't.. you become affected by their spirits, because you wonder.. why are they so stressed? and you start to doubt yourself, your progress and you start thinking... ok i need to be stressed i have to be stressed if not i'll not be able to rush my work on time.. and soon enough you find yourself less effective when you were not as anxious. again ure spirit has been unwittingly been affected.

I also believe that spirits have names too.
in some Christian books which talk about heaven and hell and about Satan and how real he is. they give names to demons. and its interesting how some of the names of these demons are mundane words... like Legion, which means,'we are many' or Beelzebub, which means 'lord of the flies'. etc. Spirits i believe also have names.Names like Anger, Jealousy and Lust. and its quite startling that some of these names are literally emotions.
Next time we get emotionally riled up, it is of outmost importance that we check our spirits.. are we being controlled by another? It is all too easy to be controlled by the spirit of anger. But we can control some anger. Other kinds of anger we simply are not humanly able to control unless God intervenes.. how do you forgive someone who has raped your own sister? how do you forgive a man who has murdered your only child? Countless of men have lost heart in God for this very reason. So possessed are they by Grief that they surrender their hearts to Revenge. Revenge consumes and takes over Kindness and destroys the other spirits. Destroying the man from within.
Like a man's emotions, a man's spirit can't be seen. Hence, few of us would know how much we could have damaged another man's spirit through a careless word. Only we ourselves would know the hurt someone else inflicts on us.Yet just because something is invisible dosn't mean it isn't there. Perhaps feelings and emotions are aspects of our spirits.
although we can't see spirits.. and although it is something few people talk about. yet, it is something deeply embedded in the nature of every human. we aren't alarmed but rather intrigued when other people talk about spirits.. because there is an element of intrigue and mystery and excitement. because the spiritual realm is not constrained by the laws of physics. it can't be shot by a bullet, but it very much can be affected by words. It does things that only the mind can conceive.

wise is the man who wrote that the pen is mightier than the sword. The power of words wielded in the hands of one man can cause devastating destruction to another like a sword.it could destroy the spirit of a man.. and crush his hopes.

which is why the bible describes itself. A sword is sharper than any double edged sword, cutting through sinews and marrow, cutting through spirit and soul. Because contained in the bible are words. If words from a man could destroy or bring life to another. What less the words of God Himself?

a question that came to me in church

2011-03-19T19:03:00.000-07:00

I'm in church blogging even as I'm barely listening.
People are sleeping. People seem uninspired. Bored. Looking at calenders, some are looking intently.
A question that then came to me is this. If people aren't excited about what the pastor is saying in the church, whose fault is it?
There are some who would say that every pastor has something to share that we can learn and glean from. Because after all it is Gods word. Few would dare to go against this arguement.
But then .. how come week after week.. people come to church to sleep? Like... people who go to a lecture to sleep.
If people don't learn anything from a lecture, might as well stay at home and do something more profitable with our time.
I'm cautious with my words here lest I speak ill of God's chosen men. But my question is this.. if the word of God is spoken in church and people are sleeping, why is this so? Everything must have a cause and effect. Why are the men of God so magnetic? Why do they attract so many people? And why are so many churches half full week after week? God isn't present. That would be my conclusion. This would then reflect on the leadership of the church because as a man is recognized by his fruit, like his sons or daughters, so a church is recognized by her fruit. The kind of people who are in it. Sleeping in church, being distracted by other things...
What do all these reflect upon us as people of God.
How then can we even ask our friends to come to our church and see everyone else sleeping and msging and doing everything else other than listen to the preacher?
Sometimes I don't really wana bring people to church cuz I myself am not convinced that I would want to stay in a church like this other than the fact that I love my friends who are here.

MOvie upon movie upon movie

2011-03-18T16:02:00.001-07:00

I've been watching movies like crazy even as i'm doing my site model for my thesis. i've watched over 10 movies in the past 3 days. while working on my model.
not exactly watching a movie, just turning on the player.. turning on the speakers.. and watching.. and listening.. and doing my work.. and occassionally looking up at some scenes.. hmmm like when the guys about to make out with the girl... or the bad guy gets his ass whooped by some weird guy with a gun..

Theres a really good reason why not all movies are nice.. after watching through the list of 'should watch' movies.. i quickly ran out of the good movies... and i started randomly downloading movies which had nice looking pictures.
a common thread that seems to run through many movies are the themes of violence, sex and clever lines. Cool music always comes in to add the extra flare that a classy movie or to highlight how cool the hero is..
its funny how i can watch a movie with my ears cuz for most of the time i'm 'watching', my eyes are actually focused on the model.

Its terribly difficult to make a good movie. because soo many different components come in.. you want a style that complements the script.. u want music that gives mood.u want actors to draw in the crowd.. and u want effects to see something different. its a multibillion dollar industry after all ( i think) .

sometimes however, it makes one seriously question the norm. Because the irritating thing about movies is that so many underlying messages are embedded in a single movie. for example.. a scene from the movie 'snatch' starring Jason Stathom.. the whole movie starts with 4 jewish men dressed in rabbi suits.. casually talking about how the bible is just a book made up by men,, and that it is merely a book that gives people hope because people only believe what they want to believe or somewhere along that lines.. then .. i'm like .. why are these 'religious men' talking trash about the bible when they are supposedly holy people.. and then.. all of the sudden, they are in a bank ripping off their disguises and taking out machine guns to steal an 84 carot diamond from the bank vault.
The scene changes so quickly. but a message is already implanted. although it seems totally incongruent with the whole movie itself. it questions the validity of the bible. and makes no clear statement. its up to the viewer to decide for himself what to make of it..
the world of movies is really quite thought provoking. everyone is trying to make a statement. and because there are no 'critics' sitting beside you to call out a foul play every time there is a scene that so drastically twists reality, over time, you actually start to believe that anything is possible. you can do whatever you want. you can be above the law.. you just gota be like Arnold Schwarchzenegger and grow some big ass muscles , get a mean ride, fake out an sccent. Screw plain Jane and plain Tom Dick and Harry.. u gota be cool.. get a tatoo. get a hot girl.. then people will say to you 'you da bomb dude!' 'you sick holla shit yo babe! '.. words that make no sense suddenly become 'jewels' that drop off the screen.. and people start becoming nothing more than fictional characters in movies.

but then again.. its really quite interesting.. because you are like Alice looking through a viewing glass. Finding out that you share the very same world with someone who talks totally different.. and you wonder.. wher did they learn to talk like that? isn't this earth?
people don't care alot for sentimentality. its too overated.. sex.. its always the highlight of the movie.. a lesbian scene in black swan between natalie portman and another woman becomes so disturbing because it is used to highlight her split personality. Horror and theatre and reality become a giant confusion as the Nina can't even tell when she is having conversations with herself. She actually believes she is growing wings.. and then.. u wonder with trepidation if she can even dance the next scene because her view of reality is totally warped. Its like asking a person on drugs to do something as precise and passionate as ballet. yet.. she kills it.. with a piece of glass stuck in her stomach.. the layers of implied messages are overwhelming.
Even for dumb WWF films.. like the marine. U have overkill of special effects like fireworks.. like.. a truck drives into a house filled with fuel.. (not even explosives) and then there is a little fire in it.. and than "BOOOM BOOM BOOOOM!!!!" the whole place goes rocket and everything goes on fire.. serious over kill to the max.. even the car blows up excessively.. and you realize.. oh.. yah.. this is a WWF movie, you'd expect cliche's like that that are dumb.. yet at the same time its interesting because you start to understand how people in the WWF think. they always contrast an ultra hulking guy with humongous muscles with a tiny hot babe whose waistline is so tiny compared to the wrestler.. and then.. when the marine runs.. he don't even look like he can run 1 km with all that bulk attached to him.. perhaps a 100 m sprint . tt would be enough to kill him. seriously overbulked clumsy and well not very intelligent.. but that's fine! because this is WWF entertainment!
Alot of movies have trashy language and messages. and because such a movie is allowed to be created, naturally people start thinking its ok. Imagine.. watching not just 1 but movie after movie after drama serial after drama serial.
our reality is thus very much one that is visceral.
perhaps that explains for a generation of people who don't know how to properly express their emotions.
most movies... actors either over express themselves.. so it looks fake.. or they are stoic and expressionless. or the character is some quick mouthed guy with tonnes of smart lines. Adam Sandler. Lots of jokes that are just centered around the penis and the vagina. after a while it gets really lame. yet people love it.. because of the way he can say a vulgar joke and make it seem cool cuz he has these really calm and nice face on the outside. And his movies usually end with some heart in it.
The green hornet.. oh.. that was the worst movie ever. particularly because of the white actor. Jay Chou was cool. but they made Sato look like some walkover at some points of the movie. the white guy duno whats his name.. maybe he's a really good actor because he played the part of irritating and useless perfectly. u could have taken any other actor and replaced him and i think the green hornet would have been a much better show.

i think i could go on doing 5 sentences of movie reviews for some movie that pops into my head as i'm blogging.. but the real point i'm making is this.. i realize that perhaps the most disturbing aspect of movies is not how it educates peopel to be violent, or to lead lives of sex and glory and killing and back stabbing.. although to a certain extent it merely makes people more 'accepting' to all the above practices.

in my opinion.. the most dangerous thing about movies is that it is raising up a breed of people who don't give a damn about anything. so many scenes. you have people on the streets killed by someone.. and then the main actor on the scene just lifts an eyebrow and moves on.. they only give a damn when someone dear to them is killed. if they kill someone.. that guy usually deserves it and had it coming .. and the whole crowd cheers on because 'justice' is met.
but the issue here isn't justice.. the real message that we are buying is that it is perfectly ok to get your revenge because someone has did something to you. Now.. when we start getting comfortable with the idea that we are entitled to our own brand of vigilante justice.. then slowly.. the solutions come naturally.. we have a myried of choices to choose from about how we can inflict damage on someone. Just watch a few movies and you'd be an expert on how to get back at somebody who disses you off. watch a few chick flicks and you'd be on your way to learning how to act, walk and talk like women with low iq.

We don't realize how easy it is to pick up something wrong. and when it becomes part of us and becomes normal, we don't even realize it.. we are sold messages we don't even know where they came from.
Given the unimaginable coverage that movies have .. the unimaginable number of viewers.. it is only common sense that the world we now have is moving on. we are now more liberal. more bold in expressing our thoughts. freedom of speech. Thats what we yearn for. yet. this freedom of speech is not for the benefit of a group of underpriviledged people.. this freedom of speech usually goes to the people with the loudest mouth. and most of the time they aren't worth listening to.

i've realized that few people even feel this way.. because they'd think i'm overreacting or that i'm being "Christian" by expressing all my opinions. and yes that is true. That my opinions come primarily because of what God has been leading me through in the bible. themes of injustice, about irrational herd behaviour.. about the self sufficient nature of man.. the desire for control.. these are themes that are no foreign.
but the bible has to be read with the Holy Spirit as the guide. otherwise.. its just another story about Jesus.. its just a story about a man who claimed to be God and is just a historical memory.

No this is far from the truth.

SHout out to all Arki NUS Masters 2011 Archi Students!

2011-03-14T01:39:00.001-07:00

Lets continue persevering! and we will graduate together! :) :) :)

learning to be a good friend

2011-03-09T15:31:00.000-08:00

I think the thing about being a friend is not about the good advice u can give. But about the extent to which you would go out of your way to help a friend in need.
I particularly find this hard. Cuz I don't have a whole lot of friends like that myself. It isn't easy being a friend cuz on top of taking care of your own stuff, u also have to have an extra reserve of energy to be there for your friends. No one teaches or tells us how to be a good friend. But the bible has something to say about being a friend. In john 15:13. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. This verse probably wouldn't make much sense till we know what laying down our lives means.
Personally, I think laying down of ones life involves putting aside the things in your life that sustain you. This would include your work. Your commitments even just for a friend. To lay aside the things in your life that sustain your very livelihood for someone else is unthinkable. Only someone crazy could do that.. imagine missing an important managerial meeting because your friend had a bad day. Or to not work on a thesis to help another friend in need.
Who would even consider that? But Jesus laid His life down for us. If we can't even set aside work when a fellow friend is struggling through depression..or a rough patch in his marriage, what less literally die for another man. Yet Jesus, who was blameless apart from the fact that He claimed to be God allowed himself to be falsely accused before the pharisees and He died for us while we still were His enemies.
That is something even more inconceivable. How do u even have the heart to want to comfort your boss who has suffered loss when he hates your guts? When all he has done for you is make life miserable? Would u lay down your life for such an ingrate? Yet, Jesus did that very thing that no ordinary man could ever do. Only Jesus.only someone so filled with love could do something like that after all the emotional and not to mention physical abuse and violation of all human rights.
God please forgive me for I'm still far from u.

The Good News.

2011-03-06T16:10:00.000-08:00

I've often wondered. why people say the bible is the gospel. why is it the good news? Slowly. i realize.. that this is because the bible gives hope in a world which favors only the strong and the rich. It says when we are weak we are strong. Not because being weak is being strong.. but because we have a God who is immeasurably larger and stronger and more powerful than any man.

As i was struggling the past few days about the reality of the working world and how its really just Darwins theory of only the strongest will survive, how do we lead normal lives?
and what exactly is a normal life?
A normal life is one where we work, yet have time for our families and friends and God and still have a proper job.

There used to be a time where we decided for ourselves that family came first before work. That families come home regularly during the week to have dinner together. That used to be the norm.

The norm that society now deems as proper is to work over time just like the rest of the crowd. The norm is that we care for our own asses and every decision we make starts from there. This is what i believe to be the main reason we no longer have men. because the men in the past would have been heroic men who laid down their personal interests. Can a woman no longer find men who have common sense ? Is life for the young really just about a fucking ladder you have to climb? It dosn't matter if anyone who is climbing tt same ladder gets pushed off and falls off the ladder. as long as it isn't 'me'. The biggest reason for doing things that are unethical is 'everyone else is doing it.' which is the lamest arguement on earth. because now, it is someone else's fault that you decide to make a stupid decision for yourself. One can easily shirk away his responsibilities by using this magic phraise ' because someone else has done it before and got away scot free.' the human is then reduced to a servile follower of stupid rules that destroys lives. firstly, because their compass is no longer about the good of their families and the country but so that they can have more money. People look down on you just because you don't have enough of it.

Its a perverse generation of 'me' thinkers. 9 out of 10 people would really go into a job that pays well. its the number 1 reason for taking up a job. the money. Its not about having money to support ure needs. its really about more money. do they and that justifies office politics. that justifies back stabbing, that justifies meaningless boasting to promote yourself and to get noticed by the boss. it is stupidity to be content with little.
The worst thing about the whole situation is that so many people have seen the unfairness of such a system and rose up to fight against it thinking that they could make a difference. They knew intrinsically what is wrong with the whole rat race. but themselves are powerless to effect any change. because they do not have the kind of financial backing that global MNCs have. They do not have the means to effect change the way mega companies can. they are just people who have thought through the realities and stupidity of this kind of lifestyle without a way to fight against such a system or to effect change that can amount to anything significant. Money really is power. This is the reality.

Knowing, and thinking and lamenting about such a reality can't bring about change.

But the good news is that the bible goes counter culture to this world's thinking and the world hates the bible for this very reason. The world preaches about a me culture. The bible talks about a we culture. The world says only the strongest survive, the bible says where we weak, He is strong. The world preaches self empowerment, the bible preaches the empowerment through the Holy Spirit. The world says its ok to disregard your conscience because u need money to survive, the bible says, it is foolishness to gain the whole world but lose your soul. The world promotes a self serving lifestyle, vices, the lure of pleasure, the bible promotes perseverance and maturity of heart.
The world talks about dominance and power as greatness, the bible talks about servanthood as greatness.

The bible completely goes counter culture. Nations who have put God first prospered. And such a concept is completely alien in this modern context. However, archaic the idea of a country being led the God of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, it ought to be noted that almost all of the first few civilations had a definite concept of God. They believed in things unseen. That there were things in the world that were out of their control that they had no choice but to depend on their gods and call on the names of their gods.
The new god of this age is really science. People like Richard Dawkins who claim he has no religion really believe in the god of science. If u look at science, it is based on facts, calculations, but also a significant portion of science still remains as theoretical postulations. Even the theory of evolution can be broken down as a mere extrapolation of a few facts that are proven. But because no one was in the beginning when the earth was created, there is no proof undeniable that the theory of evolution is true just like the bible. There is no proof undeniable that God is real. Hence, Richard Dawkins has as much faith in a 'theoretical extrapolation' as a religious man has in maybe Islam, or Hinduism or Taoism, needless to say Christianity.

The thing that makes Christianity stand out is the clear proclaimation it makes. That Jesus is the one and only true God. Only the Christian God dares to make this supreme claim that He is the most powerful God and all other Gods are fake, powerless before Him. To deny that Islam or Hinduism or Taoism have no power is stupidity because all religions have a spiritual aspect that is very real. The question we ought to ask is this.. Which God can we depend on?
Richard Dawkins can believe in his dead God, which is a mere conjuring of another human's imagination. Even Darwin used to be a Christian and was even known as a devout one at that.

The confusion always happens when men in leadership of Christian bodies misrepresent what is really in the bible and twist it for their personal gain. What we then have is that our God who is truly perfect, is represented by a man who dosn't even believe and follow and practice the true essence of the bible which is loving God and loving all fellow humans as well. This is how the crusades started.

As i think more.. i realize.. and sometimes thank God that this world is less religious than it was maybe a hundred years ago. Because religion on its own is a demonic tool used to oppress the masses with the authority of God as their backing. Religion without free will is dictatorship. Many men and women who were not Christian but saw the descrepencies of actions of the Christian and their actions become disillusioned that this is truly Christianity. And they decided enough was enough.. because not only were these 'Christians' imposing their beliefs on other people, but they also started stoning the other people who didn't belief. Because the Christian bible had the grounds for imposing the Christian mindset on people using the authority of God's very own words. Because the ten commandments state that you shall have no other Gods other than me. Stone the adulteress, Stone the man who curses his father.. and soon enough you'd have religious priests taking on the persona of God and adding in their own take of what a man ought and ought not to be stoned for. Insubordination..
but they forget the very msg of the bible is love. Their actions have condemned themselves even though they have kept the latter laws of the bible.
As a result, the unchristianed man with more common sense than a religious Christian buffon decided that this Christianity thing was not the thing they were seeking for.
He decided laws for himself that took God out of the picture. because men had abused the authority given them and deceived himself into thinking that that authority was their birth right. They had forgotten God in the process.

Then comes the birth of the market system. Impartial, driven by demand and supply. A fair system at first. but at the end of the day.. the same story unfolds. Men in power get drunk in it and abuse the system so that it sustains them permanently.
Tell me. is the whole problem been a theological question of is God real?or has it always been the reality all the long that the problem lies with man himself?

The question the whole world forgets to answer is this... are the grievous actions committed by men the act of men or the act of God?
How fair is it to blame it all on God when in reality, man since the garden of Eden has been learning how to push the blame away from himself and to God?

Simplistic and broad stroke labels like.. all religions are wrong and only Christianity is right demeans the human good in man. And the balance is always a very fine one. The one thing that the church has made it disgusting in the sight of man is that it has taken away the thing that God freely gave. Free will. Other religions in practice at least give every human a chance to choose other faiths. Yet the church dosn't have an easy job either. because it has to hold on to the firm and resolute teachings , yet be loving to all man. it has to stand for what is right in the midst of a generation that really isn't.

If u ask me what is the best solution for the world's problems of poverty, war, civil unrest. Prayer. Prayer to Jesus Christ. U only have one frequency to the power to change the world for the better.. u can't pray to Guan Yin and ask her for power to change the world. U can't pray to Krishna to ask for him to answer your prayers to improve your society.. because they don't promise any of that. Only Jesus promised that if we pray and ask anything of Him, He would surely answer. But that is when we become friends with Him because only a friend knows what his friend's plans are. A man wouldn't reveal is plans to a mere slave. How much more would God not answer our prayers when we don't even believe that He would answer anyways. but still God answers prayers. and i believe many times, the prayers of those who don't even know Him. simply because He is that kind of God. Ultimately, God loves u and me. Ure not believing in Him would not stop Him from loving you. because He has already died for our sins. Only Jesus died and rose again because He is God. There really isn't any other way to preach the gospel because there isn't any other man like Jesus, born of a virgin, got crucified for saying He was God, whose body could not be found by the roman government 3 days after His burial. There isn't any man who caused such social 'upheaval' througout history. Every single man pales in history compared to the waves that He has created from his death till today. Richard Dawkins will one day die, and few would probably even remember his name or the impact that he has made in history. He is so small in the eyes of history compared to the effect that a 'mere' man like Jesus. So Richard Dawkins is a famous author, yet probably no one writes much about him except maybe publishers, atheists, theological intellectuals and Christians who want to refute all the things he writes about in his book. Lawyers don't talk about him, doctors don't talk about him. Governments don't talk about him.

But about Jesus, Kings talk about, governments, professionals from every single walk, the poor talk about Him, the divorced talk about Him and devote their lives to this man who called Himself God. By the sheer influence that Jesus has on the lives on so many people.. this man who was born 2000 years ago.. you have to really ask yourself... only the son of God could have elicited such controversy and devout followers and haters. So many men have faded away with history, but Jesus remains as alive today as He was since the beginning of time.

devil

2011-03-05T16:41:00.000-08:00

I always found this fact very interesting. Because when you read devil backwards. You read lived. As if to say that the devil is also one who has lived. He is evil. Vile and lied to many men. He is veils himself so he can deceive . Its amazing that all the adjectives I used to describe the devil come from the same word. But perhaps the most ironic word that can be found in the word devil is the word live. As though to say evil is veiled in our lives. Perhaps this is all but a clever intellectual word play. Yet.. one has to question how did people ever come up with the spellings of these words?? There is a certain divine wisdom just from spellings of words and how they are conceived.

2011-03-01T23:09:00.000-08:00

its been a while.
work work . I need strength.
even more strength to cope with the emotional turmoil life throws at u when u least expect it to.

Recess week is over.

2011-02-27T06:08:00.000-08:00

I'm sad that recess week is over.. to be honest.. i didn't do alot of work. i'm praying tt what i did is good.
I find it amazing tt God is always speaking.
I think it is always in this time when i'm not working yet that it is the best time to really seek after God and to really grow and soak in as much of the life lessons that God has been slowly showing me.
One thing that really irritates me about myself however is my horrid memory..
i've such poor memory that i can't remember the brand of guitar strings i bought until like someone asks me.. i don't even know the brand of my blue tooth headphones unless some one tells me. Sometimes. i wonder how i even got into NUS and how i managed to come this far with my pathetic memory. Somehow i've always managed to scrape through. since pr to sec school.. till jc.. i could go through school.. pass and not know much about what i've learnt in class.
when i look at people and how it is so easy for them to remember facts and figures.. i get so irritated! why don't i get that??? Part of the reason is probably that i don't bother enough about most things to want to remember..
which is why i could be totally ignorant about so many things. u could tell me about cpf, aye, cte, pie. and ask me what roads i have to take to get to my place.. and i'll give u the blank look. i could drive u to my place.. i could point out images.. but.. when it comes to specifics like the name of the road. i'll seriously freak out and give the 'i feel so stupid for not knowing what roads go to my place look'. Yah.. totally.. i've also been praying to God for help in this area . dosn't seem to be working much though..
when i hear people in my church talking about their work.. about what kind of jobs they are looking for.. i don't know why but my attention span grows extremely short. i don't even know like almost all the schools my church friends go to.. or the jobs they have.. Eve quite often tells me 'u everything also duno..' what do you know.. and to be honest.. i look at her and say.. 'i don't know'. though at the back of my mind.. i would say.. perhaps ask me more about God and how He applies to our lives.. i could say one or two sentenses about it.

i find myself so irritating sometimes.. because .. i can be pretty good when i write.. but when i'm speaking.. i'm really super bad at expressing my opinions.. its like.. i take much longer than the average person to respond to a question.
but at the end of the day.. i really just have to tell myself this.. that i'm different.. and not the same as everyone.. my strength certainly isn't in what i can remember.
about most things in life. i'm so uncertain about. because in every person filled with flaws, i also see huge potential. In every architectural design, there lies an element of goodness of potential.

The world is however a very narrow minded one. It dosn't accept people who think differently from it. in order for the status quo to reamin, the people at the top more often than not see it as their responsibility to create in the next generation a new generation of robots. automatons who can copy what they do rather than to encourage them to lead according to their strengths.
after all. birds of a feather flood together. It is in human nature to like people who have the same thinking as us. Yet it is even more important that we learn to work with people who are diametrically different from us. The person who expects everyone to think like him is a severely disillusioned man.

Witnessing

2011-02-27T05:59:00.000-08:00

I just witnessed for myself tt my brother in law got healed of Hep b of 17 years!!! :) I'll do a mini testimony from his account over dinner today. Usually, for him, he would go for a medical checkup every 6 months. and he would go for a test for the number of i think bacteria in his liver.. and he had news that from his last test, the results for hep b was always positive.and also.. recently, he discovered that he had liver scarring. however.. the crazy thing was that for his latest test, actually his results turned in negative and the scarring in his liver was gone. The most amazing thing was before he got his results from his doctor, he prayed to God, that his results would be favorable.. and that the bacteria count would be less because his last test count was 100 which was bordering on the serious side of hep b..
He also felt that God was prompting him to pray for full healing instead of just a lower bacteria count.. and also he told God he was going to be a father soon.. and wow.. i am sooooo touched that God answered through his doctor's report@!! :)

:) who says miracle healings don't happen????
My brother in law just got healed of hep be which he had for 17 years!!! :) :)
Praise God!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

sitting in church

2011-02-26T16:43:00.000-08:00

As I'm writing this blog in church. I'm listening to one of the church leaders reading an exerpt from the bible. And I wonder.. if someone who were not a christian were to be in my church, it would sound as though we are listening to a literature reading. It might make people think that christians come to church to listen t the words that come from an archaic textbook. Yet. These very words are from God himself. The problem is that the reason why reading of the scriptures is so important in church is that all too often this is the only time a christian hears the word of God during his very busy week. It is very ironic.
The thing about the bible, as Kris Valloton ever said is that it is assumed that when we read it we are guided by the Holy Spirit. Without it. It is just a book. We don't get any revelation. Which is why scholars can study the bible all their lives and yet remain unmoved by it. They do not have the mind of Christ.

2011-02-26T06:24:00.000-08:00

Its funny how i have so much to write about in my blog and sometimes so little to say in real life.

Avril Lavinge

2011-02-23T16:01:00.000-08:00

Her outer image is a rock chick. Tough. Funky. Cool. Popular.
Her lyrics. Sensitive, a woman wanting to be loved but finding reality harsher.
an ironic mix of strength on the outside and vulnerability on the inside.

i don't know why but when i just woke up i had this song in my head. When You're Gone by Avril Lavinge. The lyrics, i don't really know.. but i just had this feeling tt being superstar has to be one of the most self denying jobs u should never have.
on one hand.. you are this rock star with mythical powers to draw crowds .. yet the inability to truly get to know your fans.. to have a relationship.. because the deal is that u are not your own..you are owned by your company.. your time is your company's .. you money is given by your recording company.. they pretty much own u and control even who you date.and perhaps the only pieces of the singer that remains are their songs.. their mtv's are a mask to their true face. a face they don't show their fans.. a face without make up.
My question is.. is it enough? is it enough that even if u might have the dream job of being the world's most popular person. is it enough? are they truly happy where they are? A money making pet for a season till everyone forgets you.
The expectations of the fans are invariably inhumane. Everyone desires a piece of u. Everyone desires the equal attention from one rockstar because they base their life ambitions to be like their idols.. they are expected to be the image they portray on the television. we assume they are people who sleep around because that's probably how you get popular with the directors first.
imagine. how much they sacrifice. how much of themselves they give up? what is left of them that is truly themselves? wealth? their clothes? What of personal integrity. No one bothers about their integrity. In fact.. we'd even prefer to see them naked. entertaining us like little monkeys at our beck and call.. 'the fans are calling out' and the rock stars have to obey.
How different are these rock stars from high class slaves to their fans? Yet although they sacrifice so much of their lives.. they do not have something deeper. What they have are praises of their fans and perhaps even more the insults of their critics heaped on them.
Perhaps the reason why many singers take drugs just to make themselves look happy on stage is that they are unsatisfied by what they do to begin with. I mean think about it.. if i'm doing the very thing i love, and if i truly had joy doing what i did, i wouldn't even need drugs. perhaps they might have started off totally loving what they did.. but after the novelty wears off and reality sinks.. what strength do they have to motivate themselves when they see the pointlessness of having fans? They need an alternative source of energy to keep them doing what they are doing even if they no longer find the joy they once had performing for the crowds. perhaps having a secluded place where no one can badger for a piece of you is the best sanctuary.. because then.. u truly are allowed to be who you are. and not be dictated by the fans.
But to bring this back to context.. apart from God. there is no satisfying alternative source of strength we can draw from without losing part of ourselves. Drugs might be an alternative to give us the extra boost. Praises might do that as well. Heck.. wealth could also give us the ability to buy the best products on the market to give us strength.
yet.. in the bible God promises a strength that surpasses all these things. For those who wait upon the Lord will rise on wings like eagles. They would run, but not grow weary, they would walk, but not grow faint in the walk of life. Too often we see our lives in stages.. studying.. working.. family.. and we compartmentalize life itself without realizing that this is a very very very long walk.. day by day.. surely we are wasting on the outside. are we growing on the inside so that we can deal with the wearing away of our bodies? one day when our bodies lose their strength, where can we find strength to carry on?
Only God promised strength. Only God promised peace.
Peace is another underrated word in the bible.
there would never be a situation in our life where there is perfect peace in our surroundings.. conflicts happen on a 'per second' basis around us. Only a fool would think life has no conflict. in spite of the turmoil of the storms, God promised a peace that surpasses all understanding. When everyone else is panicking.. there are always a few who stand immovable and calm because that calmness can only come from God.
Fame is perhaps one of the most overrated achievements a man can have. We think ohh.. wouldn't it be great if all of us had adoring fans crawling at our doorsteps..receiving love letters on a daily basis( too much letters would make u feel sick because they are just so surface level).. doing the job u've always wanted ?? wouldn't it be a great bragging right to see your photo emblazoned on posters all over countries in different parts of the world while your other friends in school look in fawning admiration and become proud to be associated with you simply because you are you. But then again.. how much of that eventually is true??are u truly u?
the hard rock star who cusses is expected to cuss and make a vulgar joke at the beck and call of his fans.. they are expected to constantly suppress any part of themselves that yearns to be moral. dresss less.. get called a slut.. because that is incongruent with the image they have created for themselves. They run the risk of losing everything they ever wanted at the expense of the conscience. As such, their once tender hearts become calloused and deceived that all they need is more drugs to give them more energy to do what they do normally for a living.
they have to silence a part of themselves to do what they do so as to attain more of what they desire.
truly.. the rockstar goes through an emotional trauma no human ought to go through. not at the expense of their personal integrity..
it is something severely underated and forgotten in this generation.

But God gives strength to the weak. And wisdom to those who ask Him. For God is a generous God. When we pray... it is no longer us bearing the weight of our problems, rather, God shares our yoke and carries it with us.